Inconvenient Gratitude: How to Stay Present to the Moments That Matter
I was holding his hand when heaven felt close enough to touch.
After 23 days in the pediatric ICU, my firstborn was leaving this side of eternity—and I couldn’t follow.
My firstborn. My Joey.
In one hand, I held onto him—unwilling to let go. In the other, I clutched my journal. I don’t even remember deciding to pick it up. Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was survival. My fingers flipped through the pages, past days filled with ordinary moments, until my eyes landed on his name.
Joey.
Written in my own handwriting, from just weeks before.
“My daily gratitude: I am thankful for late-night chats with Joey and that he still likes talking to me.”
And just like that, I was back in my bedroom doorway—watching him come in just before curfew, full of life, words spilling out faster than I could keep up. He was excited, animated, so completely himself. I remember half-listening, half-smiling, tired from the day but grateful this sixteen-year-old still wanted to tell me everything.
At the time, it felt like such a small moment.
But in that hospital room, it felt like everything.
Tears fell as I realized something sacred: I had paid attention. I had written it down. I had thanked God for it when it was still just an ordinary Tuesday night.
And in the middle of the deepest pain I had ever known, I also felt gratitude.
Not because the moment wasn’t unbearable.
But because I witnessed all of it.
Fully.
Choosing a Different Lens When Presence Is Inconvenient
Gratitude wasn’t always natural for me. Like most moms, I found myself constantly looking ahead. Longing for someday.
When my babies were little, I longed for sleep.
When they became toddlers, I longed for peace.
When the chaos felt overwhelming, I caught myself waiting for “someday”—someday when things would be easier, quieter, more manageable.
But “someday” has a way of stealing today.
It was a wiser, more seasoned mom who gently shifted something in me. She told me, “Don’t wait for someday to find joy. It’s already here—you just have to look for it.”
That was the beginning.
Not of a perfect life.
But of a different lens.
I began writing down at least one thing each day I was grateful for. Some days it was big, but most days it was small. Sticky hands. Bedtime prayers. Giggles and singing from the backseat. Late-night conversations in doorways.
Things I would have otherwise rushed past.
And slowly, without even realizing it, God was reshaping my heart.
Gratitude forced me to slow down.
To look to the Giver of all good gifts.
To notice.
To be present.
It became the heart of what I now call Inconvenient Parenting.
Because being present is often inconvenient.
It’s inconvenient to pause when you’re tired.
To listen when you’d rather scroll.
To say yes to a conversation when you’re ready to say goodnight.
To notice the good gifts hidden inside what feels like just another day.
But those are the moments that matter.
Those are the moments that last, the moments where we find joy and gratitude. The moments we will look back on and be grateful to have lived.
The Quiet Gift of Gratitude
As I sat there holding Joey’s hand, I realized something I will carry for the rest of my life:
Gratitude had prepared my heart for that moment.
Not in a way that made it easier.
But in a way that made it fuller.
I wasn’t searching for memories—I had been living them.
I wasn’t grasping for meaning—I had been noticing it all along.
And that is the quiet gift of gratitude.
It anchors you in the present so that when life changes in an instant, you are not left with regret over what you missed—but with peace over what you saw, what you held, and what you cherished.
It reminds us that there is always something for which to be grateful, even on the hardest days.
A Gentle Invitation to Embrace Inconvenience
If you’re in a season of exhaustion, overwhelm, or just trying to get through the day, I want to gently invite you into something simple:
Start noticing.
Not the big, picture-perfect moments.
But the small, fleeting, easily missed ones.
Write them down.
Pause long enough to see them.
Whisper a thank you to the Giver of all good gifts.
Because the truth is—we don’t always get to choose how our story unfolds. I definitely would not have chosen ours.
But we do get to choose how present we are in it and what we focus on.
I am so grateful I chose to focus on the beautiful life God gave and is still giving, even in grief.
And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do as a parent . . .
is embrace the inconvenience of slowing down long enough to really be there.
And be thankful you get to witness all of it!
Meet Melissa Hannigan
Melissa Hannigan, author of Inconvenient Parenting, is a writer, speaker, wife, and mother who is passionate about helping families slow down and rediscover what matters most. She has been featured as a guest on Focus on the Family and has shared her message through various radio and television segments. Through her faith-centered perspective, she shares practical and heartfelt insights on slowing down, embracing everyday moments, and raising children to fulfill their God-given purposes. When she’s not writing or homeschooling her three girls, you will find her curled up with a good book or training for another half-marathon at Walt Disney World.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
