How to Be a Better Neighbor: Five Summertime Tips

To you, Googling “how to be a better person.” You, longing to be the sort of neighbor who effortlessly welcomes others into your home, leans into conversations with sincerity and delight, and spills over with hopefulness. You, with your burgeoning summer calendar and dwindling blank space. You, feeling squeezed between ideals and actual life.

You don’t need an out-of-reach plan, additional demands on your time, or an annoying voice filling your head with “shoulds.” So here are some simple summertime tips that will fill you up rather than deplete you.

Five Doable Ways to Be a Missional Neighbor in the Middle of Your Busy Summer:

1–Increase your visibility.

One of the best ways to build friendships in your neighborhood is to become intentional about how often your neighbors can see you. Think about how likely you’d be to knock on a neighbor’s front door if you’ve never seen her walking the dog, weeding a flowerbed, washing the car, or waiting for the bus.

You don’t have to have oodles of flexible time in order to spend some time in your front yard. Simply bring something outside with you that you’d ordinarily do inside. If your kids are young, bring playtime to the open air. If you’re buried in a book, read with the breeze lifting the corners of the pages. If you need to catch up on emails, grab a lawn chair and your laptop, and wrap up your work outdoors.

Think of these minutes, even if they are sparse or infrequent, as sowing seeds. You never know which relational doors tiny seeds can open. God simply asks us to plant–and trust Him with the outcome.

2–Acknowledge your neighbors with enthusiasm.

You know the people who smile with their whole face? Who hold eye contact long enough to make you feel seen? You never forget the hearty hello that met you on a hard day or the way God hugs you through someone else. 

What if you were this sort of neighbor to those you encounter as you walk your neighborhood or spend time in your front yard? A genuinely warm greeting says I see you and you matter. A bit of honest enthusiasm in our tone tells a neighbor, I enjoy your company–which can nudge open the door to friendship.

Don’t force or overthink it. Just let a smile be heard in your words or a flash of joy be seen in your eyes when you acknowledge your neighbors.

3–Treasure hunt for commonalities.

We’re trained to notice differences. Remember the pictures you’d compare as a kid to see what was different? What’s a constructive critical thinking exercise on paper can be destructive when we carry this bias into our neighborhoods. Of course, you’ll notice dissimilarities between you and various neighbors. But there are commonalities too–connection points and similar curiosities that welcome conversation.

Search for these similarities–especially when they feel like buried treasure. Pay attention to details. Ask questions. Become interested in getting to know your neighbors. As you treasure hunt for commonalities, you’ll notice your heart widening and neighbor-friendships budding.

4–Casually slip God into your conversations. 

Keep practicing tips 1-3 even when it feels like you’re getting no traction. You are planting seeds. Some seeds sprout quickly, and others take a long time to germinate. 

When opportunities for conversation arise, lean in. Listen with interest. Break the awkwardness with honesty. Ask questions to gently go deeper. Answer your own questions. Casually talk about God through the lens of His kindness and patience with your work-in-progress self.

Rather than trying to maintain an image of a perfect, put-together life, tip-toe into authenticity. Mention the struggle and where you’re seeing God in it. Open up about something God is in the middle of working out in you. Talking about God feels non-threatening when you elevate God rather than yourself.

As you enter conversations–even the short, small-talk ones–take honesty and humility with you. They’ll keep your words full of grace and open the door to organic discipleship.

5–Include neighbors in what you are already doing.

Having expendable time isn’t a requirement for being a missional neighbor. The goal isn’t to add on extra that will deplete you, but to include others in what you are already doing.

Prayerfully consider activities that could feel lighter and more meaningful if done in community with other neighbors. 

Do you run? Perhaps a neighbor would love a running friend.

Do your kids go to the same school as some neighbor kids? Maybe you could swap days you drive.

Need to make a grocery store run? See if a neighbor wants to join you.

Are you struggling to keep your kids entertained this summer? Bring something out to the front yard you can share–chalk, bubbles, popsicles, water guns. Try a neighborhood playdate or a babysitting swap with another mom during the day. You could invite a neighbor family to that community event on your calendar for this weekend, or invite a neighbor friend to ride with you to the pool so your kid has a playmate.

Chances are, if you’re feeling the lack of community, stacked on top of the lack of time–others around you are too. If you initiate the invitation, you might find neighbors who readily respond. And if not, you’ve still sown more seeds.

How to Be a Better Neighbor

The best way to become a better neighbor, I find, is through baby steps. Lean hard into your relationship with God, one small choice at a time. Invite Him to guide you, step by step. Plant seeds. Nurture the roots. Grow deep, gradually.

If baby steps are your pace, get a quick tip in your inbox each week to help you connect with your neighbors and let your faith ripple into your neighborhood.

And for you as your summer begins—a prayer of blessing.

May the seeds you sow into your neighborhood sprout in God’s perfect timing and way.

May the baby steps you take grow your faith and your friendships.

May the invitations you extend be welcomed.

May the conversations you enter gently nudge others closer to God.

In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. 

Just a friend over here in your corner,

---

What if you gave your faith the chance to ripple right into your neighborhood? These quick tips provide a wide variety of baby steps to help you begin to build friendships with your neighbors. When we get close to God and let others get close to us, the things God is working out in us can show.

P.S. Prefer the audio? Listen to The Uncommon Normal podcast for the same weekly content! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or listen to the latest episodes right here!