How to Steady Your Heart When the Future Feels Heavy
I found myself once again sitting in the corner of my couch, staring into space. The weight of decisions and unknowns in my family’s life was overwhelming and it paralyzed me. We had been helping our daughter fight a battle with a mental illness for close to eight years and constant worry of keeping her alive was exhausting. And now, we stood on the precipice of her moving out and heading to college and the future terrified me.
The responsibilities of caregiving had been so much for so long that I was having a hard time seeing past the insurmountable hurdles in front of us to get our daughter to independence and ready for college. The stress was beating down on my own health and I felt the fingers of depression begin to threaten to pull me into its pit.
This isn’t the first time that anxiety or depression has tried to take me out. I’ve been working against it since elementary. But over the years, God has led me to wise people who have helped me find tools to push back against those feelings.
The Best Way to Steady Your Heart
One way I know is to look for God’s goodness in the middle of hard things. It isn’t hard to count the blessings of food, shelter, family, and health. Those are the low-hanging fruit. But when we start peering into the darker corners where the enemy wants to paint everything in despair, we can begin to find God’s gifts of goodness and lift our eyes to Him in gratitude.
We can have a heart like Joseph’s, who could see his unfair treatment as something God brought about for good (Genesis 50:20). When I start doubting God’s goodness, I know it’s past time to look for His goodness. If we feel our minds drift towards cynicism and question God’s goodness, we need to be intentional about seeking the good. Ask God to show you.
It may be in small ways. For me, I realized that all those weekly drives to counseling with my daughter meant I had a lot of one-on-one time with her in the car, something that is often lost once teens get their license. I also saw how our daughter’s struggle affected her siblings. Because they saw their sister struggle, they were more aware, could recognize signs in their own friendships, and knew how to intervene. For my marriage, it meant my husband and I had to have hard conversations about things we might otherwise sweep under the rug or dismiss to avoid conflict. One family member struggling meant the whole family felt it, and we could either pull together and stay together or dismiss it and fall apart.
When we take time to call out the ways that God is making things good out of what the enemy makes for evil, we push back against the darkness. Finding gratitude in the hard can help our hearts feel lighter and more open to God’s goodness and His promises. We can start to see how He is providing pure, lovely, and admirable things all around us, holding it—and us—together. The good is always there; we just need to look for it.
What Feels Heavy in Your Future?
Choosing to find the goodness in the hard isn’t ignoring the difficult circumstances; instead, we are lifting them up to Jesus and looking at them from His perspective. It doesn’t change the diagnosis, the uncertainty, or the weight we carry—but it does change how we carry it.
When we choose to look for God’s goodness, even with trembling hands and tired hearts, we loosen our grip on fear and steady ourselves in truth. We remember that He is not absent in the hard places, but present within them, gently weaving redemption where we only see strain. And maybe, just maybe, that shift is enough for today—not to solve everything, but to take one faithful step forward, trusting that the same God who has met us here will also meet us in what comes next.
Meet Nichole J. Suvar
Nichole J. Suvar is an author and speaker who knows what it feels like to live overwhelmed, rushed, and stretched thin by anxiety. Now, through her books, devotions, podcast, and speaking, she helps women slow down, understand what’s beneath the overwhelm, and step into a more grounded, purposeful life—one that reflects the peace God designed for them. She has published five books, her latest being I Don’t Have to Hold it All Together, Cultivating the Peace of Eden When Feeling Overwhelmed.
Nichole lives with her family in Northern Indiana. She collects chairs–the more colorful, the better–thinks all the best food is in sandwich form, and will stop everything to read a map. She’s a fan of hiking, cozy cardigans, and Earl Grey Tea, and she’s learning that life unfolds better with open hands instead of tightly held fists.
Where to find her . . .
- Website Book Page
- (Quiz) Overwhelmed? Discover the Eden Rhythm your soul is longing for!
- Substack
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
