How to Praise Even When Answered Prayers Come at a Cost
A few years ago, my husband and I decided our family was complete after the birth of our second son. We were blessed to welcome two healthy baby boys into this world, and we felt that was perfect for us, especially given my medical condition. For a couple of years, I was completely content with our decision. Then something inside of me ached for a baby girl. It didn’t help that three neighbors had become pregnant with baby girls, all within months of each other.
There must have been something in the water!
I tried to dismiss the crazy estrogen-fueled hormones raging in my body as I picked out tiny pink outfits as gifts. However, the longing for a daughter began to consume my thoughts, so I prayed for God to bless us with a baby girl or take this craving from me as I laid it down at His feet.
I wrote “daughter” in my prayer journal for over a year, not knowing if I really wanted a “yes” or a “no” answer. I could no longer become pregnant, so I prayed for a stork scenario. Hey, I had read about that miracle happening to others. And I believe in miracles! I also knew my wonderful husband and the best dad ever would not refuse a baby girl dropped on our doorstep.
A Costly Answered Prayer
One fateful day last May, we found ourselves waiting in the airport with equal parts nervous anticipation, relief, and excitement. The glass door leading into the terminal area slid open, and we breathed a sigh of relief as paramedics attended to my brother on the medical stretcher. Right by his side was a beautiful girl with long dark hair who had just stepped foot on American soil for the first time after a two-day journey from the Philippines.
Fast forward six months, after extensive care for my brother, who had suffered multiple strokes abroad, we said our “goodbyes.” God had answered several prayers that day in difficult ways. One of those answers was a “yes” to the daughter I had dreamed of and prayed about for a long time. Of course, that “yes” came at the cost of losing a brother. It came with a “no” to the request for miraculous healing of my brother’s body.
Naturally, praise and gratitude did not come easily in this situation. I wrestled through all the significant life changes. I struggled for months with a heartbreaking “what-if” question. What if I hadn’t prayed and wished for a daughter? Would that mean my brother lived? Did I somehow cause this?
In my limited, finite thinking, I belittled God’s beautiful, handcrafted work to a simple cause-and-effect scenario instead of trusting “His ways are higher.” I’ve walked long enough with the Lord to know He doesn’t punish me for questioning or chastise me for my human reasoning. I’ve journeyed far enough with Jesus to know He understands the mixed emotions of suffering. And the Holy Spirit helps me to see the treasures hidden in the dark and live fully in the gray area where joy and sorrow coexist.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’
Isaiah 55:8-9
The Bigger Picture
As time passes, gratitude and praise in this situation have sprung forth like a new seedling in spring. With each new day, I unearth fresh treasures. My niece inherited her dad’s goofy and silly ways, reminding me of our good times. Having her here means that part of my brother is still with me.
Although his body was not healed, God answered our prayers two weeks before my brother’s death when he gave his life to Christ. His death sentence turned into resting in eternal bliss with our Father. While the loss of life is always hard, the loss of physical pain and suffering after taking a final breath is a blessing we must not forget.
Every day, I begin to see the bigger picture. I now laugh when I tell this story because I prayed for a baby girl, and God gave me a teenager. Her silly and goofy personality comes complete with typical teen mood changes. Then, there is the terror of teaching her how to drive. In my prayers, I should have been more specific about age! But God always knows what’s best for us. And he knew the girl whose name means “Gift from God” would be a gift treasured by our family.
Failure teaches us, strengthens us, awakens us, and humbles us. It gives us wisdom and compassion. It opens our eyes and our hearts to the promise of better days. We can move forward with hope. And we can share that hope with others. That, indeed, is a glorious thing.
Meet Darcie Fuqua
Darcie Fuqua is a wife and mom, Auburn Grad (War Eagle!), Youth Pastor, Christian writer, and mental health advocate. As an avid believer in walking the path God sets before you, she has embraced the wild ride of the last decade. God has opened doors for youth ministry, speaking, freelancing, and devotional book collaborations. You can read her writing at www.leightonlane.com and connect with her on socials.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
