Question of the Day: Is It Possible for One to Fear Absolutely Nothing?

Fear is icky, sticky, and debilitating. Yet it’s also an annoyingly faithful companion (frienemy?!).

I once met someone who was convinced he feared nothing. I was skeptical, to say the least. As were we all, the group of us finding our place amongst each other and within God’s heartbeat for humanity. We were clear on the other side of the world, learning to love the right-in-front of us people that we’d only just met.

But that conversation about fear that befuddled the rest of us—I’ve never forgot it.

Can one honestly, truly have no fear?

I know I’ve feared many things throughout the years. As a child, I was afraid of getting hurt. Or feeling awkward doing the things that didn’t come naturally to me, which involved skiing, horseback riding, parasailing in Mexico, being in the center of the attention, and singing in front of anyone. Definitely that one.

I flat out refused to sing dramatically-bad-on-purpose opera while practicing an improv skit (on the same mission trip I met the kid with zero fear), and had to apologize to my team leader, which wasn’t much easier. I’d also have a pit in my stomach every time we played charades or Catch Phrase in youth group.

Simply put, I’d rather stay well in the realm of safe and never, ever be put on the spot.

I get fear. It’s defined far too many moments of my life.

I’ll never the most extroverted in a room. I like time to process my words on paper. Improv still scares the bejeebers out of me. And I still don’t like to sing.

But there’s this other thing I do, that maybe you do as well.

It’s that I let fear shut me down, which in turn shuts other people out. Fear tells me things like It will be awkward. Just keep it from being awkward. So I refrain from sharing my own messy, shy away from being real. And then I feel disappointed with myself, and frustrated with my own lack of transparency.

I want friends. And not just friends, but the kind who I can be real around and know they will stick around, who tell me the truth and share it in love, and who see the best in me and grow with me.

But it’s easier to build walls than friendships. Friendships take time—a lot of time. Walls are faster to build—walls that keep the parts of our lives that aren’t airbrushed safely out of sight. Walls that dictate how real we are.

So here’s my question for you today:

Where in your life have you let fear build walls?

Fear has so many different faces. Insecurity. Loneliness. Anxiety. Criticism. Mistrust. People pleasing.

Fear tells us we’re alone.

It leads to shame. Isolation. And fast-built walls.

It’s time we stop letting fear be a bully, keep us guarded, and limit the depth of our relationships.

Yet where do we begin?

They say you don’t push darkness out of a room, you simply turn on the light. You fill with the good and the not-good has no room to stay.

I think it works the same with fear. We don’t get rid of fear by focusing on it. In fact, I believe we give power to whatever we focus on. We certainly move in the direction we spend our time looking.

So would you try this with me? This week, let’s focus instead on the One who already conquered fear.

Let’s move towards Him. Let’s let Him in.

His name is Jesus, and He tells us this: “Perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18 NIV).

He is love perfected, and where He is, fear has to leave. There’s no place for both.

In a perfect world, we’d be so fully immersed in Christ that we would have no fear. But we live in a battleground, and the war’s been won, but it’s not over. Still the promise remains: more of God equals less fear in my life.

King David talked of fear too in the Psalms. Here’s what he says in Psalm 56:3 TPT:

But in the day that I’m afraid, I lay all my fears before you and trust in you with all my heart.

I find tremendous hope in this verse. If even the one called a man after God’s own heart still wrestled with fear, I don’t need to be ashamed that fear creates a tension I’m still learning to navigate. “In the day that I’m afraid” suggests that there are those days.

Don’t miss the takeaway in the latter part of the sentence. We lay down fear and pick up trust. Fear and trust are polar opposites. We move towards one, we move away from the other.

When I move towards the God who is wholly and wonderfully trustworthy, I find freedom from the fear that builds walls.

I don’t think it happens overnight. Rather, it’s something we choose moment-by-moment: God over our fear. Will it get easier? Yes, as do all the things that we practice often. Will we ever have absolutely zero fear? This side of heaven, I don’t know. I haven’t experienced it for myself, but I know fear decreases when God increases. So that’s what I’m aiming for—more of God.

Another tip on overcoming fear

Another thing that has been tremendously helpful for me in overcoming fear is to start small. Then to make a habit of the baby steps.

For me, it’s looked like this:

I chose a word of the year, then kept choosing it over and over and over again. I turned it into a wallpaper for my phone so every time I reached for my phone, my word was there to remind me of the direction these small steps were taking me.

My word was open. You may have heard me talking about it before, because it was 2019 when I first chose it, but I hold onto it still.

I choose open so I can let others in. I choose open so I can be seen. I choose open so my relationships can go deeper. I choose open so I can release my grip on what’s really not mine to control. I choose open so I can let more of God in, and He decreases my fear.

Choosing open is an invitation to be vulnerable and honest—with God and the people I do life with.

If you’re feeling insecure, not known, unseen, inauthentic, discontent with the depth of your relationships, frustrated that you’re not comfortable being real, and deeply disappointed with yourself—maybe you too need to start small.

You can be brave in little ways. It will grow your brave. And when your brave grows, there less room for fear.

Just do #thenextright thing, as Emily P. Freeman says. Choose to live open one baby step at a time. And remember, always remember, Who is with you. And see what it changes for you. I’d love to hear from you if you’re willing to try it!

Here’s a short prayer you can pray when the fear seems big and you feel small:

God, I’m small, but You’re not. I admit I’m afraid. I don’t feel very brave. But You are with me. I know that You are, but would You help me to believe it? Together You and I will take one small step into brave today. Would You show me what to do next?

May you be brave with Him,

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