How to Stop Hiding Inside the Peace You Crave (Enneagram 9s)
Dear Peacemaker,
I get the way you crave peace like it’s the oxygen in your lungs. The way you wouldn’t speak up if your turn was missed or your food isn’t what you ordered or your preference is contrary to the general consensus. I get the way attention makes you squirm inside and conflict makes you want to run.
Can we talk about how to stop hiding where it feels safe and cozy and predictable? Because maybe what makes you “come alive,” as Howard Thurman famously wrote, is somewhere beyond the line of where risk meets comfort.
Are you familiar with this quote?
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Howard Thurman
Enneagram 9 friend, you have so much to offer when you’re deeply alive, fueled by the love of Jesus, and awake to the mission God invites you into.
Before we continue, please know that I write with all the tenderness I can muster because I’m also looking in the mirror.
Truth is, I’ve settled for a semblance of peace instead of showing up fully for the life that’s mine to live. I’ve overextended myself trying to keep conflict at bay. I find it far easier to be vulnerable through writing than in real life.
If that’s you too, this letter is for you.
Enneagram 9, You Matter
First, I want you to know that you matter. Not what you do, or how well you do it, but you.
You matter before you mend, comfort, counsel, or pacify.
You matter even when you’ve let someone down.
You matter without a single prerequisite, aside from any self-set expectations, regardless of how anyone else has defined you.
Your worth cannot be earned. Neither is it defined by your demeanor or diligence, or by any words that have been used by other people to describe you. What God says about you trumps your internal dialogue and every word that has been used to wound.
And God? He calls you beloved and beautiful. Dearly beloved.
You are
- Cherished: “God [cherishes] me constantly in [His] every thought” (Psalm 139:17- 18 TPT).
- Chosen: “I am God’s chosen treasure . . . his very own . . . [called] out of darkness to experience his marvelous light . . . so that [I can] broadcast his glorious wonders throughout the world” (1 Peter 2:9 TPT).
- Constantly on God’s mind: “Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every thought” (Psalm 139:17-18 TPT).
When you feel invisible, remember this:
God doesn’t look at you last. He doesn’t overlook you. He’s wild about you.
You don’t have to be an ounce louder, prettier, or successful to garner His attention. He dotes on you, hangs onto your every word.
He sees you when you’ve retreated to your comfort zone.
He sees you when you can’t stay on task.
He sees you when you can’t will yourself to be brave.
He sees you when the words won’t come in time.
He sees you when you try to jump into a conversation but no one notices.
He sees you when you put others first.
He sees you when you try on your own to keep the peace.
And His heart breaks for you when you dismiss the value of your own voice, put yourself down, or call insignificant who He created with care.
How to Stop Hiding, Enneagram 9
Understanding how God sees you helps you discover how to stop hiding inside the peace you crave. Why? Because when we aren’t secure in our worth we expend unnecessary effort trying to create what’s already available to us.
We can run ourselves ragged trying to construct peace. We bend and over-apologize, dismiss our voice, make ourselves small. But this self-constructed peace is fleeting so we must constantly maintain it.
What I tend to forget is that peace-creating isn’t my business. It’s God’s. He who is Peace Himself brings peace as He comes close. And friend, nothing in all the world can keep Him away.
Instead of controlling what’s around us to procure peace within us, we look to Jesus. As we do, we lose the tension in our shoulders, the lump sitting heavy in our gut, and the slight furrow in our brow.
Peace doesn’t wait for perfect circumstances, even for conflict to dissipate, because peace is Jesus. Because He’s always here, peace is available in full measure no matter what distracts, disruptures, or ruptures.
Jesus is Right-Now Peace in the very middle of long waits, hard conversations, and decision-making. We are always welcome next to Him, where we’re engulfed in His perfect peace.
In this spot by Jesus’ side, secure and sheltered, we can joyfully embrace our role in the Great Commission. We can live with hearts and arms open wide so the love of Jesus can flow through us.
Instead of hiding inside self-created peace, we get to introduce Right-Now Peace to everyone we meet.
Let’s pray.
Jesus, thank you for peace. Thank you for being peace. When I want to hide inside the cozy, comfortable, and predictable, “hide me in the shadow of Your wings” (Psalm 17:8). Remind me that I don’t need peace around me to have Your peace within me. In Your name, I pray, Jesus. Amen.
A Gift for You
Before you go, there’s a gift I’d love to tuck into your hands. It’s four beautiful lists for Enneagram 9s, highlighting
- clues you might be an Enneagram 9
- how you can use your strengths to mirror God’s grace to your neighbors
- and (for the rest of us) how we can best missionally love the Enneagram 9s we know
You can grab the Enneagram Neighboring Lists. below. Each list is available both as phone wallpaper and as a printable pdf.
Bonus: you also get the four lists for each of the other Enneagram numbers!
I’ll leave you with one of the tips for neighboring well as an Enneagram 9: Ask for help. Your pride won’t like it, but it will help you let others in.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
