How to Simply Show Up (Because Look At What Happens)
When I first signed up to mentor through a local Big Brothers/Big Sisters program, I knew it wouldn’t be simple. My mentee, Z, is entering high school this year. Her story is heavy for someone so young: parents battling addiction, a mother who continues to work hard to overcome her past, a father who is back in jail again. School is a daily struggle for her—behavior issues flare up, anxiety creeps in, and she often feels like the odds are stacked against her.
I don’t have all the answers for Z. I can’t erase her past or guarantee her future. But I can show up. Week after week, that’s what I try to do: be a consistent presence, a steady voice, a reminder that she matters.
At first, I’ll admit, I looked at our time together mostly through the lens of responsibility. She needs me to be there. I need to follow through. It was good, but it felt weighty. Then something shifted.
The Lens of Gratitude
One afternoon, Z mentioned that her school counselor had asked her to lead a roundtable discussion for younger students who are walking through circumstances similar to her own. She shrugged as she told me, like it wasn’t a big deal. But I could hear the pride in her voice.
Her counselor had noticed real growth in her—growth in leadership, in confidence, in the way she was learning to channel her experiences into encouragement for others.
In that moment, gratitude welled up in me—not just for the opportunity she’d been given, but for the privilege of being in her life to witness it. Gratitude reminded me that my role isn’t to fix her but to cheer her on, to celebrate the doors God is opening, and to see her not only as a child in need but as a young woman with gifts to share.
How Gratitude Changes Me
The more I practice gratitude in this mentoring relationship, the more it spills into other areas of my life. Gratitude softens my heart, making me more patient with my own children when they struggle. Gratitude keeps my eyes open to my neighbors—the ones who might not wave back, or who live with challenges I can’t see from the outside.
Instead of carrying the weight of trying to “fix” people, gratitude reminds me that it’s God who is at work. My part is simply to notice, to affirm, to love.
A Year-Round Rhythm
It’s tempting to think of gratitude as something we practice when life is going well—when the pantry is full, when the bills are paid, when relationships are smooth. But Z has taught me something different. Gratitude can be practiced even in brokenness, even in messiness, even when the story feels unfinished.
Because gratitude isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about seeing God’s presence within it. And when I embrace gratitude in that way, I see not only my own blessings but also the sacred value in someone else’s life.
A Simple Thank You
Z may never know how much she’s taught me. But I’m grateful—even when she cancels on me at the last minute or has very little to say. I’m grateful for every guarded glance and every brave word she’s chosen to share. Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard things, but it allows me to keep showing up with hope.
And maybe that’s what our neighborhoods need most: people who show up with grateful hearts, willing to see, to listen, and to join God in the slow work of love.
Meet Elly Gilbert
Elly Gilbert is an author, educator, and mentor who loves helping women discover encouragement in the ordinary and purpose in the hard places. Through stories and devotions, she shares her heart for gratitude, faith, and community. Elly serves in leadership roles in her church and in education, and she mentors young women in her community. At home in Kentucky, she enjoys time with her husband, their three college-aged children, and three sweet rescue dogs—as well as a good cup of coffee, an episode of Murder, She Wrote, and thrifting adventures.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
