How to Reverse Your Negativity Before It’s Disastrous

Even a former “most positive student” can hit a negativity streak. Even a well-practiced gratitude journaler can catastrophize. Even the most spiritual among us can spiral into negative self-talk.

Indeed, even the host of Begin Within: A Gratitude Series, who has a front-row seat to the life-changing nature of thankfulness, has days where the mind runs wild and the thoughts self-betray.

I want to step softly here because negativity can appear bristly, but there’s a tender underbelly. Perhaps you barricade yourself into a reality that feels secure. Negate what seems too hopeful to believe. Numb yourself to the pain–which means you miss the joys too.

The louder our unfounded worries, and the less we feel seen, the more amplified our negativity becomes. What rages internally doesn’t relinquish control easily. Our undisclosed self-defense measures spill sideways into our tone against our will. 

Fear doesn’t exactly like to stay put.

But what sounds to others like pessimism might be a wobbly-kneed cry for reassurance. The tender pieces of you that feel unsteady, overlooked, overwhelmed, or underwhelming can’t be fully covered with callous indifference. The hyper-critical side of you that catches what’s amiss often aims at yourself.

Reverse Negativity with Intentionality

A conversation about our negativity would be best set in the quiet corner of a quaint coffee shop where honesty comes easily. To replicate this setting, I’ll go first with a confession.

A vulnerable summer series sounded like a novel idea until it came time to sit with each topic. That’s when the real struggle began. Because like clockwork, everything went haywire just before I began writing. My self-talk was vicious, my inner control freak on overdrive, and shortly before I wrote about self-sufficiency, I’d declared, “And THAT’s why I don’t ask for help.” 

Writing through each post with my own emotions amplified reminded me just how needed freedom is for all of us.

But today, as I write this last piece for the series, I’m sitting outside, enjoying a brief relief from the draining humidity that has marked most of the month. The sun slips through an occasional cloud, and neighbors wave as they drive past. I don’t feel especially negative.

And yet, it’s not a temporary, weather-assisted masking of our negativity we need, but an actual reversal. A trajectory reset. A rewiring on the inside. 

So I’m praying that the tips I’ll share carry a hopefulness as fresh as Kentucky country air. I pray they’re as light as birdsong. As doable as baby steps.

What follows is not a list of shoulds.

Neither is it repackaged shame.

They’re simply invitations to intentionality.

1–Carry joy like it’s precious.

Joy buoys us. It keeps us afloat in a fallen world. As Jennifer Dukes Lee writes,

Joy is strength. It has muscle. It’s what can make you strong in this busted-up world of manifold heartbreak. When we are flattened under the curse of the world, joy is what will help us rise up again, fist in the air. 

The Happiness Dare, pg. 232

But sometimes I take joy for granted. On the perfect-weather days and seasons that match that serenity, I assume joy is here to stay. I fail to nurture and protect it.

What I’m learning is that joy isn’t accidental. It’s always available, and yet easy to lose. It must be safeguarded.

What if we carried joy in cupped hands–delicately, as if preserving something precious?

Cupped hands gently cradle what’s inside. They don’t control, as tightly balled fists do. They create an environment where joy can persist, circumstance-free, separate from mood and margin.

Cultivating joy might look like pairing reverence with gratitude, being mindful about what steals and supplies joy, and steering your attention back to Jesus when you begin to wallow in negativity.

2–Train your brain to give thanks.

From the corner of my chalk-painted desk, it beckons. Would you sit with me a spell and spill your genuine thanks on these three lines?

Three short lines of gratitude to cross out negativity. 

A quick tumble of words to capture God’s overwhelming grace.

An end-of-the-day pause to record the gifts.

I can’t say a gratitude list is a fix-all, but it’s a powerful way to stay your mind on what’s true. Neurologically, the results are astounding. The more times we spy the good, the grace, the gift in our day, the more easily we see reasons to be grateful. Training your brain to be thankful is like creating a highway in your mind to a more positive destination. 

Intentionality is key. The more visible your gratitude journal, the more effortlessly you stick to the practice. 

I also find that we are deeply inspired by stories. To gently cultivate gratitude in your life, consider subscribing to Begin Within: A Gratitude Series. Every Thursday you’ll get a new story in your inbox–real-life examples of what gratitude looks like on both mundane and downright hard days.

3–Fight fear with light.

Let’s circle back to that tender underbelly of negativity. How might your attention to the not-right be an effort to convince yourself you’ll be alright? What fear lies between you and joyful hope? What vulnerability is masked under makeshift pessimism?

If your bent towards catastrophizing, overanalyzing, avoiding commitment, or speaking negatively to yourself is rooted in fear, please know that God already knows. He is gentle with and compassionate towards you. You can trust Him with all your honesty.

Take a moment to list any fears that come to mind.

Then, pair each fear with a truth from God’s Word. For example, you might list 1 Peter 5:7 next to a worry about what will happen:

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (NIV)

Or, beside your self-belittling fears, you might write Isaiah 43:4.

You are precious and honored in my sight. (NIV)

The next time your thoughts begin to run away, pull out your list and fight fear with light.

Before you go, here’s a prayer to borrow on the days your negativity is getting the best of you.

Lord, nothing inside me is hidden from You. Help me to see what’s beneath my negativity. If I’m self-protecting, help me to trust You instead. Teach me to treat joy like it’s precious, train my brain to give thanks, and fight my fear with Your light. In Your name, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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