The Best Way to Grow Resilience: 3 Life-Changing Secrets
I see it in your eyes that can’t mask the tiredness, hear it in the cracks in your voice, feel it with you in the hurried steps and anxious scrolling: life feels fractured. Unsteady. At times, unfathomable.
We quiet our questions, assuming God sees coming redemption before we can glimpse it. But we can’t hush the disquiet in our souls. Is there a way to thrive no matter what life throws our way? To grow resilience that keeps hope alive?
Resilience Leads to Restoration
Resiliency. Merriam-Webster defines it as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to adversity or change.” What piques my attention, however, is the definition listed at the top, above the one I usually associate with the word: “the ability of something to return to its original size and shape after being compressed or deformed.”
It sounds like restoration. Like there’s a link between resiliency and the kind of restoration God has in mind:
Soul restoration (Psalm 23:3).
Physical restoration (Jeremiah 30:17)
Relationship restoration (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).
Universal restoration (Acts 3:21).
Restoration takes what’s broken or lost and makes it mint condition again. Resiliency opens the door to absolute, as-God-intended, perfection.
Restoration is God’s work, resiliency our response to Him. We grow resiliency by trusting God’s ability–and intent–to restore.
Even as we witness the world groaning, we live in the hope that God is even now unfolding His redemption plan.
God doesn’t just give us peace, strength, and joy. He offers what He wanted for us the whole time. One day our physical bodies will be fully healed–God’s plan all along. We look with hopeful anticipation toward creation itself becoming a place free of tears, tragedy, and trauma (Revelation 21:1-8).
However, God isn’t merely “making all things new” (Revelation 21:5), He walks beside us during the process. Why? Because restoration of our relationship with Him is at the heart of His mission.
And I have to wonder how often we mistake resilience for our inner strength rather than the strength that results from a relationship with God. Do we face the fragility of the world with inner gumption, or with a hand tucked into His and a heart that fiercely trusts Him?
How to Grow Resilience in Any Circumstances
Resilience, the kind that supersedes circumstances, is accessible to all of us. It’s not something you either have or don’t have. We can each grow resilience with simple practices that turn us towards our trustworthy God.
So from my own lived experience, I offer you three secrets to thriving regardless of your circumstances. Each secret carries with it an invitation to a practice that takes little time but has the power to change your life.
Secret #1–Naming God as you read your Bible teaches you His unchanging nature.
“Who do I say that God is today? (Mark 8:29), Ann Voskamp asks in Sacred Prayers. Her journal question sent me on a treasure hunt. As I read my Bible, I listed names for God in the margins.
Beside “For His unfailing love is great, and it is intended for us, and His faithfulness to His promises knows no end” (Psalm 117:2, The Voice), I wrote Forever Faithfulness and Endless Love Always Meant for Us.
Next to “2 Chronicles 14:6–“He has allowed us to keep our land and has given our nation a time of peace. Let’s use this time to strengthen what He has graciously given us”–I wrote Strengthening Peace.
Many of the stories in the Old Testament contain characters radically opposite of God’s nature. In such instances, I’d write God’s name as what the character lacked. For example, next to one of the spiels from Job’s friends–which was both faulty and pessimistic–I wrote that God is a Ready Encourager.
Page after Old Testament page, I read with Ann’s question whispering to my soul: What is God revealing about His nature? What’s always true of Him?
What I found is the more I listed attributes of God’s nature with the specificity of a name, the better I knew Him. And the better I knew Him, the more effortlessly I trusted Him.
My view of God changed from seeing Him as a general surgeon to a specialist with experience and training for every highly specific need I brought to Him. Instead of quieting my questions, I took them to God, knowing He would be gentle with them.
So here’s my question for you: What might change in your relationship with God–and your resiliency–if you too named Him as you read His Word?
Secret #2–Thanking God before it makes sense helps you see beyond your circumstances to a good and faithful God.
I like to call it nevertheless gratitude. It’s the thanks we say in the middle, before we see around the next bend, before we get the answer or closure, while that hard thing is still being redeemed.
Nevertheless is even more tender than even if. There’s possibility and hope, however slim, in the gut-wrenching moments where we say that God is good even if He answers differently than we wish. But nevertheless moments are those where the worst case is reality. The inevitable is swirling around us.
Praising God precisely then refines my lens.
It’s one thing to point out positives that already happened, but to name the gifts right here in the present unlocks something in my vision. Praising God for who He is and what He’s promised when life is especially tender brings Him into focus. Clearer than my circumstances is that God is good, faithful, and able to be trusted.
Consider this: How might seeing God more clearly help you navigate your current circumstances with resilience? What if you gave nevertheless thanks a try?
Secret #3–Saying with your physical posture, “I trust You, God,” helps your faith become stronger.
The secret to resilience, I’m finding, isn’t a straight back and squared shoulders. It’s bowed head and bent knees.
Something shifts in my heart when I adopt a physical posture of surrender. It’s simple: nodding the head in reverence or slowing for a moment on your knees. But it tells God, I trust You more than I trust myself. And it reminds my own heart who to trust.
In that stilled moment, it’s like you step onto holy ground. God is near, and you know it down deep. It stirs hope and strengthens faith because God promises to come closer when we approach Him (James 4:8).
For your heart to ponder: What if the best way to build resilience is to spend time on your knees?
A Blessing as You Grow Resilience
I’ll leave you with a prayer of blessing as you grow resilience.
May the ache in your soul tug you toward the God who restores.
May your questions turn you toward His tender compassion.
May God’s with-ness be your source of strength.
May naming God as you read your Bible teach you His unchanging nature.
May nevertheless thanks help you see through your circumstances to a good and faithful God.
May a posture surrender remind you that God can always be trusted.
And may the resilience you grow as you fix your eyes on Christ lend hope to the people around you.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
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