3 Surprising Things It’s Time to Stop Doing Now

I get it. The feeling that your wheels are spinning. The dreams that are out of reach so long they begin to fade. The monotony of the everyday. Surely, truly, there is a way to wake up with a spark aflame in your heart, and the knowledge that you are part of something bigger than yourself—that the small moments of your life amount to something that matters.

Perhaps it’s less that we aren’t doing the right things as it is that there are things we need to stop doing.

Perhaps we’re not doing too little, but too much, and that too much crowds the space for the less that really makes a difference.

We long to embark on a life marked by mission, to be present and purposeful in our neighborhoods, to let the goodness of God ripple out beyond us everywhere we go, to lean into our purpose to praise Him with our very lives—but we feel small. Overlooked and less than important. Unsure and overwhelmed.

We discount that God can use us. Who are we, really, to think we can live lives worth imitating?

We’re caught up in the busy of our own schedules. We say words we wish we’d held back, hold back ones we wish we’d voiced. We worry too much and pray too little. We are less selfless, less present, less grace-filled than we wish. In short, we fall short of standard we have for ourselves.

Who are we, really, that anyone would copy the way we live?

3 things to stop doing today

If, like me, you want to slow the hurry, savor the breathtaking, grow the things that matter, and change the world around you, let’s unpack this some more. What is it that we should stop doing today to change the course we’ve been running?

1—Showing your best face

Let’s begin with one that I struggle with daily. The pressure I place on myself to perfect my life, have it all together, and always show my best face runs counter-current to the humility and vulnerability that defines missional living. Living like Christ does not entail replicating His way of living without relying on Him.

When I insist on keeping my weaknesses and struggles out of sight, I close off others from really getting to know me. This I’ve found true: fear shuts others out, but it also shuts me inside. Only in risking being real relationally can I experience how richly rewarding authenticity is.

Today, let’s intention to stop showing only our best face, and instead show up as us. Let’s let our family and neighbors see the questions we’re wrestling with, the balls that we’ve dropped, and the things that God is currently cultivating inside our hearts as we learn to imitate His words, His works, and His way of living.

Let’s be real. Vulnerable. Open.

Let’s open the door to our toy-strewn foyers and dishes-stacked counters—because real life happens in the spaces we actually live.

Let’s linger outside in the yoga pants we’ve worn since the day before and our unwashed hair because the sunshine and chance to say hi to a neighbor out walking is worth it.

2—Doing all the things

While we throttle our impulse to airbrush our lives, let’s also give ourselves permission to not do all the things. I know it can feel like there is nothing we can say no to sometimes. We stack our schedules, squeezing something into too many of the spare moments. But with no margin we simply cannot be our best or give our best.

Believe me when I say it’s really hard for me to say no. I would rather figure out how to do more than risk disappointing or inconveniencing someone else. My impulse is to maintain the calm, and this often entails stepping in to fill the lack.

But this too I’m learning: relationships suffer when I try to keep at bay all that could rock the peace.

Endless running in circles to keep all the things together means I can’t be present where I am. I find interruptions irritations rather than opportunities for connection and organic discipleship. I get caught up in the busyness instead of the people I am seeking to serve.

Missional living is not about adding more things to my plate, sacrificing all the margin in my life, or being available to everyone always. Rather, it’s doing less but with more intention. Lingering in conversations because the rest can wait. Doing the real-life stuff, but alongside others.

So let’s stop doing all the things. Let’s slow our pace, quiet the frenzy, and build in margin so we can be present and purposeful in our relationships.

3—Saying all the words

When I was thirteen, I saw an ad in a magazine for a summer mission trip and followed my heart through awkward fundraising phone calls and three days in a hot cornfield in Illinois and onto a plane, Scotland-bound, with over 70 teammates I had just met. To prepare for sharing our faith, we memorized pamphlets of the 4 Spiritual Laws.

Then came the day it was my turn to start the conversation. She was sitting on a park bench when I asked if I could join her. Politely, she nodded yes, then obligingly let me flip through my 4 Spiritual Laws pamphlet while I rattled it off as if it was a memorization test. I asked at the end if she understood. She shook her head no, then gently asked for me to tell her without using the pamphlet.

This experience is one I will never forget. This is the day I began to grasp that pushing words ahead of relationships is not a very effective or loving way to show anyone Christ.

If you feel inept at sharing your faith, worry that you will stumble over sharing your words, or fear you will never be brave enough—take comfort in knowing that our testimonies are the lives we live, not just the words that we say.

So let’s stop doing all the talking and practice listening, learning the stories of the those around us, and doing life on life stuff together with our neighbors. As friendships blossom, opportunities to share about what God is cultivating inside you will naturally come up. Talk about God in these everyday moments—how your friend is sick and you are praying for her, or how you and God are talking about something you need to hold with open hands, or how you were encouraged through a Bible verse you read that morning.

What happens when we stop doing these things

When we stop doing these three things—showing our best face, doing all the things, and saying all the words—we will find that missional living becomes less daunting. Less a far-fetched dream, and more doable. Less an activity to stack on already precariously busy schedules, and more a lifestyle that flows freely and is life-giving.

It’s been a while since we read the definition I’ve given to explain neighborhood missional living, so let’s take a look together:

Neighborhood missional living is posturing my heart like an open door, welcoming my neighbors into my heart, my home, and my life; and fulfilling the Great Commission to be disciples who make disciples right in my own neighborhood by integrating discipleship into the small, everyday moments of doing life together with my neighbors.

If you don’t yet have a copy of The Uncommon Normal manifesto, which will further break-down this definition and encourage you to keep leaning into missional living, you may download the printable from the For You library on my site. For now, take a moment to listen to manifesto:

The Uncommon Normal Manifesto

We posture our hearts like an open door, welcoming our neighbors into our hearts, homes, and lives.

We let the things God is doing in our own lives ripple out beyond us.

We cultivate lives worth imitating through a rhythm of spending time daily with God.

We live from the overflow of grateful hearts. We don’t push our words ahead of our actions.

We are humble, honest, and interruptible. We take notice of those around us.

We create margin in our schedules for doing life with our neighbors.

We know the direction is more important than the pace, so we keep taking baby steps even when we feel imperfectly ready.

We are nurturing, one rhythm at a time, an uncommon normal.

Would you join me in this prayer?

Jesus, thank you that we don’t have to be and do everything, because You already have, and are. With You at the helm of our lives, may we lean into the right things and stop doing the things that inhibit missional living. Oh, how we love You, Lord! In Your holy and precious name, we pray. Amen.

P.S. Did you know The Uncommon Normal is also a podcast? Tune in on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or Spotify.

Change your actual life in less than 5 minutes per day!

You can change your actual life in less than 5 minutes a day because baby steps truly can change the trajectory of your life. If you want 2021 to be the year you actually start living on mission in your neighborhood, this little book (available as a paperback and on Kindle) will help you get there. Each of the 30-day devotions takes but a few minutes to read, but they will lead to lasting life change.

If you’d like to check out Part 1 of the devotional FREE and also gain access to the rest of the missional living resources I’ve created for you in the new For You library, let me know here where to send the unlock code!