What Happens When What You Think You Figured Out Is Tested
I’m in the thick of it. I can’t figure out what to do.
If I’m honest, this thought often starts and ends my days and visits many times in between. It is even a repetitive prayer.
I Thought I Had Joy Figured Out
As a child, I believed joy meant getting to do what I wanted—marriage, children, buying a house, friends, a job I enjoyed, and vacations that filled scrapbooks with stories. My childhood was riddled with dysfunction, but I told myself that when I was in charge, things would be different. I thought I had figured out the road to joy. And that I would always be able to figure out what to do if I just ______ enough (fill in the blank with work, pray, think, do!).
Marriage, children, and career came. We bought a house, went on vacations, and made some pretty cool scrapbooks. Yet, my heart still yearned for more. I began to wonder if something was wrong with my plans or my ability to figure things out. I often felt guilty for lacking the inexpressible joy the Bible describes.
Thankfully, I had always known Jesus and was growing in faith. Surrounded by joyful friends, and immersed in God‘s word, I still struggled to find sustainable joy, peace, hope, and love. I cried often, comforted by the verse about God collecting my tears in a bottle. I clung to the book of Lamentations, hoping my season of lament wouldn’t last forever. I was tired of being in charge, tired of crying, just so very tired.
In my search for rest, I hung a horse yoke on my bedroom wall, paired with Matthew 11:29 (NLT): “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” This symbol reminded me daily that Jesus walks with me, sharing my burdens. Still, joy and peace seemed just out of reach, and I continued to ask God for more of Him. I discovered I was still trying to figure things out. The endless possible solutions spun in my head, resulting in sleepless nights and exhausting days.
Freedom From the Need to Have It Figured Out
Change began when I started practicing intentional gratitude. A friend invited me to journey through Ann Voskamp’s Gifts and Gratitudes devotional, recording three things I was grateful for each day. At first, it was difficult—especially on hard days—to find words of thanks to fill those three lines. But as I persisted, my heart began to shift. The chains of discouragement loosened as hope rose from unexpected places.
I realized that what fills my heart shapes my life. My words of lament had kept me bound, but as I spoke gratitude to the Lord, I was filled with it. The Bible says the tongue holds the power of life and death; I hadn’t considered I could unleash that power on myself! Each word of thanks became a blessing, fueling my spirit and sending the enemy away.
Gratitude became my way of singing a melody to God, soothing my soul even though I’d not been given the gift of a beautiful singing voice. This practice slowed me down, taught me patience, and helped me begin releasing the need to figure everything out. With more open hands, the Giver and Sustainer Himself came into focus, quite literally shifting my burdens onto Jesus, who is always ready to carry them.
Whenever I turned to Jesus in thought, song, writing, or speech and gave thanks, I experienced healing, even if brief. Gratitude lifted me above my circumstances, like rising through the sunroof of a moving car, arms open, letting the wind cleanse my soul. It became a posture of surrender and hope, freeing me from the need to have all the answers.
Ultimately, the daily practice of gratitude is anchoring me to Jesus—the true source of sustainable joy and peace. I am grateful to give Him credit for working things out, so I don’t have to. With hands lifted, I praise Him again and again, trusting Him to bring healing and hope.
This transformation has shifted my focus from what I lack to the many ordinary gifts and abundance already present in my life. Gratitude has softened my heart, opened my hands, and allowed me to experience glimmers of healing and freedom, even in the midst of unsettling circumstances.
Most importantly, the deepening of my relationship with Jesus reminds me daily that true joy and peace are found not in circumstances or feelings, but in Him. Gratitude is not just a practice for me—it is a posture shift that is changing everything.
Meet Lin Wahlen
Lin Wahlen gets to be a wife to Mark, Mom to three young adults: Evan, Jenna, and Madelyn, and sidekick to a 5-year-old Havanese doggy named Koty. A lover of learning, words, stories, music, and art, Lin aims to live by Jesus’ love so that she inspires joy in people through both written and spoken word, especially other women walking with Jesus.
Something she read recently in a novel called The Midnight Library is “you have to live to learn.” Her most inspirational Scripture verse currently is Galatians 2:20 (NLT): “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” There’s a lot of trusting Jesus going on to do the living that yields the learning Lin treasures! A “trusted, old friend” saying is: “My record of getting through hard things is 100%” (author unknown).
Where to find her . . .
- Email: l.wahlen68@gmail.com
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
