What Happens When Gratitude Doesn’t Come Easily
Growing up the only daughter in a ranching family, I was raised by a mother who taught me to look for the good in everything and to look at everything made by the Creator and be grateful.
I love the feeling that gratitude brings—that lightness to my heart, a spring to my step, and a smile to my face.
Gratitude is easy and overflows from my life due to the good things God brings to me. When life is effortless and comfortable, everything goes as expected, and the people around me fill my cup. Those things cultivate a deep-born thankfulness and appreciation for what God is doing in, through, and around me.
But what about when gratitude doesn’t come so easily because good things aren’t happening?
Times when people, situations, and even God have disappointed us.
Life doesn’t go as planned.
Our expectations are shattered.
Our comfort and security are compromised.
Envy steals our joy and contentment.
Fear overwhelms our peace.
Sorrow breaks our hearts.
When Gratitude Doesn’t Come Easily
Throughout the years, I’ve faced each of those scenarios as I’ve encountered infertility and pregnancy loss, major financial struggle, years of caring for my ailing mother-in-law, the struggle with alcoholism in many close family members, health concerns, people I love making sinful choices, and the sudden death of my mother in a horse accident on our family’s ranch.
There has also been the daily things list of things that need to be accomplished that have worked to rob me of gratitude: a sink full of dirty dishes, overflowing laundry, mud and muck on my kitchen floors, bills to be paid, dinner to be made, kids to chauffeur around, barns to be cleaned, livestock to be fed. In the midst of the chaos and the mundane of the life of an ordinary ranch wife, I have been distracted by the burden of caring for others and have lost my sense of gratitude.
Several years ago, after losing my mom, I came to a moment of crisis where I had to come face to face with the truth of why God calls us to be a grateful people. Because I longed for the kind of gratitude that would grow me closer to Christ and further away from the despondency that grief was creating. I realized for that this kind of gratitude requires the help of the Holy Spirit and a better understanding of God’s sovereignty in our lives.
God doesn’t just ask us to be grateful, He commands it.
The truth is that God’s will for gratitude in the lives of His children carries much more depth and meaning than what the World tells us. Culture would tell us to seek gratitude in order to make ourselves feel better, to make our days brighter, to heal our own hearts. But God tells us to be grateful in order to better understand Who He is.
The Truth About Gratitude
In all my searching through the Word, I have discovered that true gratitude is an act of worship, an act of sacrifice, and an act of obedience. We especially see this in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (ESV).
Gratitude is an act of worship because we acknowledge everything God has done in the good and the difficult things in our lives. Our worship honors God as our loving Father who richly provides us with everything we need to live lives of godliness and contentment. Paul exhorts believers to worship God by “rejoicing always.”
It is an act of sacrifice because there can be a cost when we choose gratitude over grumbling. What do we sacrifice? Our own will, time spent in prayer and praise, our right to complain and be bitter, our discontent that leads to victimhood, and our expectations. When we choose to be grateful, we find that God won’t waste our painful circumstances but will use them for His glory. When we “pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances,” gratitude will naturally flow from our hearts.
And, finally, gratitude is an act of obedience. Paul tells us, “This is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Ingratitude was the foundation of the Fall. Adam and Eve had it all in the Garden of Eden – everything they could possibly need, but they wanted more. Ingratitude can be the heart of our fallen nature as well. When God’s will is at the heart of our gratitude, we are able to experience it even when the circumstances are less than ideal. Gratitude becomes the outflow of what God accomplished on the cross, and a grateful heart stays malleable and soft to the ways of the Lord, working to make us more like Him. That is ultimately the best reason for gratitude.
When we understand God’s command for gratitude in the lives of His people, it will then become an automatic reflex. If we practice it enough, we’ll discipline ourselves to truly “give thanks in all things” because gratitude becomes second nature. This is the truth about gratitude.
Meet Jana MacCarrie Fraley
Jana MacCarrie Fraley is a Christian writer, speaker, ranch wife, and mom. Her heart’s passion is discipling and encouraging women as they pursue an active and enduring faith in Jesus by seeking God’s truth through His Word, developing a biblical worldview, and finding contentment through their hope in Christ. She has collaborated in two devotional books, Tapestry of Grace, and Life Changing Stories, and created and wrote The Truth Journal, A 30-Day Guided Journal to Combat the Lies of the Enemy With the Truth of God’s Word. Jana has also written for various other print and online publications, including The Kindred Mom, Living By Design, The Joyful Life Magazine, The Brave Woman Series, The Heartbreak to Strength Series, and Faith Storytellers. She writes with her family’s Wyoming ranch as the backdrop, where she and her husband, Mike, have made a life together raising cattle and their two children, Hannah and Kade.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
