My watch alarm buzzed, dragging me into reality. I need to wake up the girls. Regret is a strong word, but we were barely halfway through the summer, and the counselor job was more draining than I anticipated. God was supposed to give me the strength and energy to be there for my campers, but He couldn’t fill my cup fast enough. 

I mumbled, Thank you for the day. Let me steward it well. This prayer wasn’t new, and I wish I meant it. 

The night before, one girl needed the nurse, another threw up, and a third was homesick. So I really meant, Lord, are you even here with me? Someone else would be better equipped. Obeying my ritual, I opened my gratitude journal. 

My pencil tapped impatiently, What am I grateful for? I used to write paragraphs, but now my mind blanked. 

I wrote, 

1. The sunshine feels nice on my face. 
2. God’s got it. 
3. And–

The pencil broke. Biting my lip to contain the frustration, I moved on to my Bible. My watch said I had two minutes before the reckoning. In fact, a few girls were already chatting. 

Today’s reading? Matthew 8.

You Need A Broken Leap of Faith

In verses 5-13, a centurion rides to Jesus, asking Him to heal the soldier’s beloved servant. The centurion admitted, “Only say the word, and my servant will be healed.” Jesus said it would happen and told the man to ride home. 

I wonder what the centurion thought as he left. Was it a long ride? Did he doubt if Jesus provided the healing he needed? 

The Bible only says the man asked, Jesus promised, and that the moment the request was made, the servant was healed. 

Wow. 

God clearly spoke: “Alycia, I’m asking you to take action before you see the results of prayer.”

My heart swelled. He was asking me to be like the centurion and ride home. He was asking me to wake up the girls. 

I trust you, Lord.

Mustard Seed Effort Is Enough

“Good morning, ladies,” I gently announced, starting the day. Okay I did it. God, where are you? I breathed in faith and hope, and God filled my lungs with strength and energy. 

It all started with a prayer I didn’t believe and a gratitude journal I barely filled out. 

God is so good at taking your mustard seed effort and multiplying it. 

When I asked God for strength to do His will, I wondered: 

• How long until it kicks in? 
• Will He provide what I need?
• Should I have done or said something different? 

The Bible never counted the centurion’s questions, only his actions. I woke up the girls, but only after many questions. 

So faith doesn’t mean 100% belief. 80% is enough. 30% is enough. “I want to trust you” is enough. 

Mark 9 records a prayer, “Lord, help my unbelief,” and Jesus honored it. 

My halfhearted prayer and gratitude time still did its job as it made me ask, “What is God doing? How is He providing?” 

Becoming Aware Of God’s Movement 

As John Piper says, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”

Taking time to reflect on God’s provision does three things: 

1. Reminds you that God is working. No need to stress. 
2. Calms your system so you can enjoy peace and hear God’s voice. 
3. Gives a you a tranquility that you can access throughout the day. 

Two habits have the ability to change your brain chemistry: Stress and gratitude. 

Gratitude builds the brain’s gray matter, processing speed, memory, and mood. It not only improves your health and happiness, but also relationships with God, others, and yourself. 

If you’re asking, “Does gratitude matter if my heart isn’t in it?” The answer is yes. 

• Walking with God can start as a reluctant shuffle. 
• Hearing God sometimes requires a prayer you don’t believe. 
• The benefits of gratitude begin with a broken pencil. 

So, what are you grateful for today?

Meet Alycia Dantier

Where to find her . . .

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Journey to the Heart of God: 5-Day Email Challenge
• Free Mini Course for Perfectionists

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.