The Truth About Surrender (For the Strong, Selfless, or Self-Reliant Ones)

For all who belong to me now belong to you. And all who belong to you now belong to me as well, and my glory is revealed through their surrendered lives.

John 17:10 TPT

Does a little piece of you bristle when you hear the word surrender? Perhaps you’ve been the one to bend over backwards, exhaust yourself trying to keep everyone else happy. You might readily compromise, dismiss your preferences, sacrifice for the good of others.

But your kind heart has been taken advantage of.

You’re been bruised by words that deflate your worth, reduce you to a label, cut you deep for no apparent reason.

Surrendering is your default. But it’s not been gentle to you. And you need space to heal.

Or perhaps you’ve been the strong one. The one your family looks to as a leader. The one who’s got to make the things happen. The one with the grit.

You walked some hard roads, and perhaps it’s hardened you a bit. But down beneath, there’s a tender spot—a vulnerable spot—that you rarely show.

Surrender feels like admitting you’re not as strong and brave as everyone’s convinced you are.

I can relate. I can be stubbornly self-reliant and defensive when corrected. I like to be right. Surrender doesn’t come easily when I feel misunderstood or unappreciated.

But Jesus invites me to travel in a different direction. And He is inviting you today too, to reconsider your preconceptions about the word surrender.

Jesus willingly went first

I find great comfort in the fact that Jesus doesn’t ask me to do what He’s not willing to also do. In fact, Jesus is not only willing to do all He asks of us, He already went first.

His life demonstrated rhythms of prayer, abiding, devoted obedience, sacrificial love, and yes, surrender.

Let’s look at John 19:30. Here we find Jesus in the final moments before offering His life so that we might live through Him.

Then he bowed his head and surrendered his spirit to God.

TPT

We know from Scripture that Jesus restrained His power. He could have saved Himself from the intense pain of the cross. Yet He chose to fulfill His mission, and that required an intentional surrender:

In answer to Pilate’s question, “Are you going to play deaf? Don’t you know that I have the power to grant you your freedom or nail you to a tree?” Jesus says, “You would have no power over me at all, unless it was given to you from above.” (John 19:10-11 TPT).

Surrender—surrender that imitates Jesus—is neither giving up or giving in.

It’s not weakness, but strength.

It’s not letting others walk all over us, but walking on holy ground.

Holy ground

Surrender softens us in the places where wounds, busyness, or arrogance have grown callouses. It melts our pride, our mistrust, our denial, our walls.

Surrender is letting God tend the parched and hardened soil in our hearts. It’s the tilling and the watering, the pruning and the nourishing.

Surrender is humility. Tender vulnerability. Knowing that my all is safe with the One who gave His all for me.

Surrender is choice. And it’s repetition. A heart posture. And a direction.

It’s releasing what’s not ours to hold so we can rest in the hands of the God we wholly trust.

It’s assurance that His ways are infinitely higher than ours.

It’s the steadfast knowing that His heart for us is good—always.

It’s embracing His will with open arms because we know the He’ll never drop us, reject us, or refuse us His provision.

It’s walking in Spirit-tuned wisdom with our feet grounded and our faces lifted towards eternity.

It’s seeing the gift in the hard, ordinary, and the extraordinary. Uttering thank you even when the things don’t go our way, when we can’t see around the bend, when the prayer is not yet answered, when the things we plant show no visible growth. Choosing to praise God in the nevertheless.

It’s fire clarifying how we reflect God to our families, our neighborhoods, our churches, schools, workplaces, and communities. It’s water—Living Water—filling us and flowing through us.

It’s holy ground, and our still-being-written stories, and God meeting us in the messiness of obedience so His glory can draw others into His embrace.

How do we get there?

Surrender is not an us thing, it’s a God thing. It’s a belonging thing.

It earns us nothing—no additional ounce of love, grace, or blessing—because it’s not about us.

This also means surrender is not a result of our willpower, grit, self-denial, or resilience.

You don’t have to be better or try harder.

You simply have to come to Him. Next to Him is where you belong. In His family in where you belong.

And when you’re right where you belong, surrender isn’t the hard choice. Loving obedience is a natural response to being loved, known, and accepted.

A prayer for you

Friend, if what you’re walking through feels impassible, and you’re praying for answers that feel impossible, I pray for grace to surrender your tight hold. Could you let go of one expectation, one preference, or one thing you want to control? See how it softens you so you can take a deep breath again.

I pray for heavenly perspective in the midst of your impossible today. I pray you know with all sureness that God’s heart is immeasurably good. I pray for less fear and more trust. Less withholding, safeguarding, and deflecting, and more open hands and whole-hearted surrender.

I pray that you would know how you’re beloved. How you belong. How surrender is not a forced decision but a joyful result of knowing we belong to God.

And I pray for God’s glory to be seen through your sweet surrender. In your home, neighborhood, and community, may you mirror a crystal clear image of God’s glory.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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