There is reflection; there is celebration in my pause, but no, I wouldn’t change a thing (Shelley Kemp for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series)

It’s hard to imagine any other life. I am often asked if I would ever go back and do things differently. Even though I pause, the answer is always the same.

In 2006, I was fighting for my marriage. I prayed. I went to church. I taught our son about Jesus. I bargained with God thinking that my pleas would somehow change my husband’s attitude toward me, towards the life we had built in Northern Mississippi.

I had been fighting for that marriage since the beginning of our relationship, thinking that’s what I was supposed to do. We had been together for more than sixteen years, gone through relocations, long-distance dating, break-ups, a prison sentence, domestic abuse, apologies, two baptisms, a princess-shaped wedding gown, and a new city with a new home, yet I ignored family and friends’ warnings.

I gave grace beyond what was deserved, and I never once asked God for direction. I followed my feelings more back then than I followed scripture.

I gave grace beyond what was deserved, and I never once asked God for direction (Shelley Kemp for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series).

A few more years went by, a few more family photos with resentment on his face and hope on mine, and the inevitable happened. My divorce was really a death. Death of so many hopes and dreams. Death of a happy family. Death of a marriage like my parents’ that would last more than 50 years.

But God was still there . . .

and He knew a better life for me and my son.

God allowed me to weep; He allowed me to morn.

And in only God’s perfect timing, He gave me a new dream, new hopes, and a new future.

Part of the Pruning

By 2012, the old was gone, and God had given me a new life. New fruit was on its way.

A new husband. A new home. A faith-filled and God-fearing dad for my son. My extended family had shrunk, but God was still pruning me. Anthony, my son, was good fruit. My husband, Andre, was good fruit, and God saw the potential for me and this new family.

Over the years, friends have come and gone. Jobs have too. Surgeries have happened. Milestones were celebrated. Family members have been born and have passed. All are part of the pruning.

Jesus said, “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that continues to bear fruit, He prunes, so that it will bear more fruit” (John 15:2).

This year, we celebrated our 12^th wedding anniversary. It hasn’t all been easy, but God has been at the center of it all. Professionally, I’m not exactly where I thought I would be. Financially, I thought I’d be further along. I have unachieved goals and dreams that have been pushed further out, but it’s all part of this pruning season.

I have unachieved goals and dreams that have been pushed further out, but it’s all part of this pruning season (Shelley Kemp for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series).

Even today, in this new life, I am asked if I would go back in time and do things differently.

Yes, I still pause, but it’s only to reflect on all the beauty God has brought to my life:

Parents who loved me and did the very best they could.
A curiosity for life that has allowed me to see the world.
A propensity to love people of all races and backgrounds.
A son who has been the epitome of joy, as if my heart was literally walking outside of my body.
A husband, partner, and best friend who leads me, loves the Lord, and protects me and my son.

There is reflection; there is celebration in my pause, but no, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Meet Shelley Kemp

Meet Begin Within Gratitude Series feature writer, Shelley Kemp, a Certified Workplace & Mindfulness Coach and Senior Certified Professional (SCP) in Human Resources helping others maximize how they work, collaborate, and communicate.

Shelley Kemp is the human resource manager at The Memphis Grizzlies and a human resource expert specializing in Training, Employee Life Cycle and Talent Acquisition for more than 15 years. In September, she received the HR Professional of Excellence Award bestowed by the Society for Human Resource Managers. The award is given to HR professionals who make noteworthy contributions to human resources, to early professionals and to organizational development.

As a Certified Workplace & Mindfulness Coach and Senior Certified Professional (SCP) in Human Resources, Shelley thrives on helping leaders and individual contributors maximize how they work, collaborate, and communicate. She is the creator of The PIVOT Principle and Routine, author of leadership book series for children which includes Brown Like You, Dancing with Daddy, and I’m Not a Baby Anymore, and creator and host of the 2020 podcast “Coach Yourself! Creating Daily PIVOT Routines to Transform Your Work, Home & Self.” In addition, she recently linked arms with Women Thrive Media to publish “The PIVOT Routine.”

Where to find her . . .

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.