How to Focus on the Things that Really Matter
Isn’t that the point of it all—to find the things that really matter and let go of the things that don’t? The war within us is that we are drawn to the things we wish we weren’t and the importance of what matters easily fades. Yet is it that the right things fade or that they are simply blurred when they get out of focus?
For some of us, we see easily what’s amiss, and this draws our attention. Others see what they will miss out on if they don’t say all the yeses, try all the things. Others see what might happen in great detail, and this pulls their focus. Yet others are more aware of the lack than the plenty, or how they are perceived or fit in or have something to offer than who they are without the label.
When we focus on the wrong things, we have to keep up the searching because we are never settled inside.
We might bury the ache, brush busily past it, reframe the way it pulls at us, or convince ourselves it’s weakness to feel—yet in the still moments, we are aware it is yet present. This is the ache for all that’s genuine: for acceptance that requires no upkeep of our own doing, for true belonging, for fully-alive living, for our steps to be purposeful, for our lives to matter.
When what we are holding onto is less-than these things, we can’t forever deny that something is missing.
If you feel this today—that something is missing—let’s take a few moments sift through what it is really worth our attention. Before we can focus on the things that really matter, we have to identify what those things are.
3 things that really matter
The three things I believe are what really matter most form an umbrella over all the more specific nuances of things worth our attention. Let’s look at the first one.
1—The One who is faithful and wholly good and perfect and true
It is God who accepts us, burns with love for us. He pursues us, invites us into His family where all our longings to belong can be fully fulfilled. Yet it is solely by His grace that we are saved from ourselves. We don’t earn His love, nor can we lose it. Even if we choose to put away from us the love that prompts Him to draw near us, we can’t stop this love any more than we can stop the sun from rising each morning to light the sky or the earth from spinning on its axis.
When God becomes the primary objective of our attention, all else begins to fall into place. In the same vein, when we uproot Him from the picture, the pieces of the puzzle become isolated and disjointed.
2—The assurance of who we are when Christ is at the center of our lives
When our ultimate desire is for Christ Himself, the ripples of His love expand outwards. We are drenched in love that is wild and pure and purifying. And it changes us. We free to be who we are meant to be—significant, chosen, filled with grace, Holy Spirit-empowered to live out the purposes of God’s family mission.
Focusing on the things that really matter means we know who God is and who we are because of Him. Rather than ignoring or being trodden down by the messages that tell us we are not good, not enough, not valuable in our own right—let’s begin listening to the Voice of the only One who speaks only truth. Only He can call us up into all He created us to be—and this calling us is really a calling us in, to come near—because in Him is where we must always begin.
3—Loving others as an overflow of the way we are loved
Just as our true identity overflows from the One at the center of it all, so too is our way of living an overflow of our connection to the One who matters most. Philippians 2:13 assures us that “God will continually revitalize [us], implanting within [us] the passion to do what pleases him” (TPT). It is Him within us that empowers us to make “’loving one another’ . . . our way of life” (1 John 4:11 TPT).
God implanted within us an ache for Him, and within His great heart is a deep yearning for us to each respond—to turn towards Him, to accept that love He longs to lavish upon us. We see how interconnected our lives are—ours, those around us, and God Himself—in that as God draws one close, His love ripples out in ever-increasing circles to others. We are loved, yes, but in being loved we also become conduits of that generous love.
John 7:38 tells us that when we believe in Jesus, “rivers of living water will burst out from within [us], flowing from our innermost being” (TPT). This organic overflow really matters because the living water is not meant to be contained. What God gives to us is not meant for just us. Only in letting God’s love for us move us to extend a genuine and pure love to both God and others can we grasp the gravity of what it means to be loved by God.
How to bring the things that really matter into focus
After we identify what is less consequential and what is truly worth our attention, we find before us a choice. A choice with what we will do to bring the things that really matter into focus. How can we practically make the right things a priority?
1—Humble and vulnerable authenticity
The primary thing that gets in the way of us seeing clearly, I believe, is ourselves. We sabotage our prioritizing of the right things when we elevate our fears, our worries, our aptitude, our self-sufficiency. A heart posture that lets the things that really matter come back into focus is one of humble and vulnerable authenticity.
We see rightly when we see God for who He is and ourselves as in need of grace but resolutely loved, solely because of Him. Pretending to be perfect inhibits our relationship with God and the people in our lives. As James Bryan Smith acknowledges, “When we feel alone in our struggle, we will find ourselves hiding not only from one another but also from God.” Ann Voskamp writes that we “are as healable as [we] are vulnerable.”
When God feels blurry and our identity and purpose as members of God’s family fuzzy, let’s remember that we may come boldly before the throne of grace, as we are (Hebrew 4:16). As we respond to God’s invitation to come near, the things that cannot stand in His holy presence begin to melt away. God doesn’t intent for us to fix the things that must be fixed before we come to Him. He simply asks us to come.
When we are surrendered to and are wholly honest with God, we find it’s easier to also be real with ourselves and other people. This authenticity is essential to missional living as it opens the gate for the things God is doing inside us to overflow through our conversations and way of living.
2—Rhythms that help us refocus regularly on the right things
Perhaps, like me, you’ve realized how quickly the things that matter can get out of focus. We direct our attention elsewhere for a moment, and when we turn back our gaze, there is now a haze where we had seen clearly. The posture of our hearts puts us in the position to see with clarity and the habits we form encourage us to stay there, where we are both receiving and releasing the living water mentioned in John 7:38.
Rather than trying to stop all your routines that are less than life-giving, focus on adopting new ones and you will find it’s less of a struggle to let go of the ones you no longer want to direct you. Here are a few rhythms that will help you regularly focus on the things that really matter. (For a deeper dive into missional living rhythms, check out my 30-day devotional, Cultivating a Missional Life).
- A morning routine that including abiding in Christ.
- Prayer.
- A practice of gratitude.
- Worship music. (You may listen to some of my favorite songs from 2020 here.)
- Scripture reading and memorization.
- Visibility and availability to your neighbors.
As we close, I invite you to join me in praying this prayer:
Jesus, thank you that you offer a way to get unstuck every time I find myself here again. Thank you for always welcoming me close—for always giving me access to You. Thank you that you listen to every prayer I fumble through or whisper in the quiet. Thank you for being at the center of all that matters—for bringing the right things into focus. We love you, Jesus. In Your precious and holy name, Lord, we pray. Amen.
P.S. Did you know The Uncommon Normal is also a podcast? Tune in on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or Spotify.
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