Space-Taker or Life-Giver

Is there something you don’t realize how badly you need it until you have it and discover it’s a game-changer?

The electric, copper griddle me mom gifted us quickly comes to mind. I thought because I was used to a work-around, that the griddle would be another novel idea demoted to mere space-taker, yet I found myself using it once again a couple days ago as I was frying bacon for baked beans.

Space-taker.

I mull over the word for moment. Do I also have things in my life that are not game-changers, things that are merely a space-taker and not a life-giver? Things that I really thought I couldn’t live without and now that I have them, I know I wouldn’t miss them if I gave them away? I begin naming categories these objects could be shuffled into: kitchen gadgets, décor, and kid’s toys.

But sometimes the things that are solely space-takers are not exactly things—they are what brims our schedules and tops our priority lists and bosses our internal dialogue.

They may even be good things, but all the good things at the same time weighs heavy on us.

The thing with space-takers is they cramp the room for the life-givers. Giving more room to one means that I am taking room from the other. Every yes I offer entails saying no to something else (more on this here).

I invite you to pause here and recall something in your life that is an unexpected life-giver—something you may not have realized how badly you needed it until you had a taste and were then hooked.

In addition to the electric griddle, doing life with our neighbors falls into the life-giver category for me. I certainly underestimated how important this would be in my life until I started shifting my mindset and making room in my heart, life, and home for our neighbors.

The last paragraph in my story of how I moved from knowing very few of my neighbors to co-leading a missional community for my neighbors (from my About Me page) highlights this integral shift:

We are far from experts at leading a missional community, but we have realized that is something that we no longer want to live without, so we keep pressing in, keep learning. It’s not about living it out perfectly, but about showing up, imperfections and all, and learning to truly love and value the people we live near. It’s about taking little steps towards loving better, being a better neighbor, a better disciple-making-disciple. It’s about moving out of the way sometimes and letting God show up. It’s about being available for relationship with our neighbors and available so the work God wants to do in me can spill out beyond my one little life. It’s about being willing in spite of being imperfectly ready.

Perhaps today you feel a little like you are peeping over the edge of a cliff, wondering if getting your feet wet in this missional lifestyle will catapult you over and there will be no turning back. Perhaps the weight of the decision feels heavy—and you worry that a yes will require too much of you. It may be that you are struggling with whether for you, for your family, for this season right now, it is #thenextrightthing. How are you to really know whether neighborhood missional living will be a space-taker or a life-giver?

May I reassure you that though it may feel like you have to be all in or all out, in reality, missional living is simply one small step, one small decision, at a time. It’s OK to get your feet wet and then inch forward. Forward motion, regardless of the pace, will keep taking you towards a life of greater intentionality, connection, and purpose.

Let’s look together now at some key questions you can use to help you determine whether living on mission in your neighborhood, or another linchpin decision in your life, will be a space-taker or a life-giver. The things that give life take space, but they also create more. They fill you up on the inside so you can pour out, but the pouring out doesn’t empty us—it too fills us.

Feel free to pull out your phone or a journal as you work through these questions.

1. Deep down, am I excited about this new thing or do I feel guilty about not saying yes?
2. Who do I feel I would be letting down if I said no?
3. What is beneath my fear or reservations?
4. Will this pull me closer to or create distance between me and God?
5. Despite my questions, do I have peace about giving it a try?
6. Is this something I can include in the daily and weekly rhythms I am already doing?
7. Are there needs within this endeavor that I am best suited to fill?
8. What is the worst that could happen if I did a trial run?
9. Will this give me more or less quality time with those I love?
10. Do I feel like God is asking me to say yes?
11.  Who will this benefit?
12. Have I asked 2-3 wise people who are willing to speak an objective truth?

Which of these questions is hardest to answer? If you do not have a concrete timeframe in which you must make your decision, sit on it for a while. Ask God your questions. Be honest with yourself and with Him. And listen.

Posturing your heart to hear is like leaning in to hear a whisper from a friend. It necessitates us being quiet and expectant that He will speak. It’s also being open to various ways He may communicate with you, like through an impression, unexplainable peace, a picture or word flashing through your head, or a scripture verse that seems to speak straight to your heart.

Let’s take a moment now to talk with Him.

Father, You know us more truly than we even know ourselves. You know what will give us life and what will simply take space away from the things that are life-giving. Would you grant us discernment to when something has become no more than a space-taker? May we pray with an expectation that we can hear from You, and that You want to speak into our questions and indecision. Would you empower us to not let fear have the final say, to follow as You bid us, to trust as You lead us?

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