I woke up grumpy. The second my alarm rang, yesterday’s unfinished business flooded in—the voicemail from the principal, the “payment denied” note from insurance, a hurtful text from my friend. Plus a headache and resentment that I even had to go to work.

I was off to the races again, and on the wrong horse.

My friend Shari says, “You can’t ride two horses with one heinie.” You can’t ride I-Deserve and All-Grace together. You just can’t. Believe me—I’ve tried. I’ve tried to ride the Thankful Thoroughbred and the Self-pitying stallion together and it never works. I slip off. No matter how hard I try I cannot ride both. Because I’ve only got one heinie.

I don’t just go riding in the morning. Last night, I started saddling up my Envy pony after hearing that my friend received a ministry opportunity I sought. I had one foot in the stirrup before I came to my senses: “My God will supply all my needs according to his riches in glory”(Philippians 4:19).

That was yesterday. Today I started to mount the Comparison mare and run off with my old dreams for a quiver full of happy kids. But the Spirit counseled me off her back and onto the strong Thankful stallion: “Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing” (Psalm 34:8).

Those were Spirit-wrought victories. I’m slowly learning to grab the reins and take my reckless, racing thoughts in hand. Some days I still ride too long in the wrong saddle.

Like when I climbed on the Entitled chestnut and let him get the best of me. He charged off to I-Deserve-Better Land and if I spend any time at all there, my family can tell. I come home short-tempered and harsh. It’s not good for anyone when I go there.

Ride the thankful horse

I know this. Giving thanks is as close to a silver bullet to joy as there could ever be. While we cannot force the feeling of thankfulness, we can coerce the action. Even if we don’t feel thankful, we can give thanks. If we can make ourselves give thanks—and I say this from experience—the thankful, joyful feeling will follow. And that is good for our families and neighbors and everyone.

In his book, Spiritual Depression, Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones explains,

It behooves us, therefore, not only for our own sakes, but also for the sake of the Kingdom of God and the glory of the Christ in Whom we believe, to represent Him and His cause, His message and His power in such a way that men and women…will be drawn and attracted as they observe us, whatever our circumstances or condition.

(p. 14)

That’s why I made myself a promise last year and, for everyone’s sake, I intend to make good.

The promise: I won’t roll out of bed until I thank God for five things. Because the best way I know to drive my self-focused, self-pitying, discontented grumps away is to take the reins and give thanks.

So in bed this morning, it sounded like this.

The voicemail from the principal? Thank you, Lord, that the principal cares. The “payment denied” notice? Thank you, Father, that the surgery was successful. That troublesome text from my friend? Thank you, Jesus, that you know what it’s like to be mistreated and misunderstood. Plus a headache—thank you, God, that you are with me—and resentment that I had to go to work. Thank you, Lord, for a kind boss and coworkers.

Then I got up.

You can’t ride two horses with one heinie

Grumps and grace cannot peacefully coexist in one heart. One will drive the other out. In other words, we can’t ride two horses with one heinie. Because, “choose this day who you will serve” (Joshua 24:15) and “no one can serve two masters” (Luke 16:13). Because Jesus isn’t looking for a 60-40 split. Because, “give thanks in all circumstances” is God’s will for us (1 Thessalonians 5:18). And God’s will for us is always good (see Romans 12:2).

So let’s ride the right horse. Will you give God thanks?

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Psalm 118:1

Meet Abigail Wallace

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Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.