Reframing Hardship: How to Unlock Peace in the Storm
The neon light from the alarm clock read 2:37 a.m. I bounced a crying newborn in one arm while wrestling an angry toddler in the other, desperately trying to keep them from waking our four-year-old asleep in the next room.
It was a far cry from how I envisioned life as a mom of three.
Sure, I had anticipated the sleep deprivation, the juggle of nap schedules and meal times, the mental load that comes with managing multiple, tiny lives who require your constant attention and energy. What I did not (could not) have anticipated was that only three months after giving birth to our third child, a global pandemic would bring life to a screeching halt.
With the pandemic, I lost all access to mom friends, family support, community programs, and our church family—everything that helped to make “mom life” healthy and manageable.
For periods of time, I also lost help from my husband.
Shortly after the pandemic hit, my husband, Jeremy, began to experience increasingly debilitating panic attacks. These attacks would send his body into fight or flight mode—racing heart and mind, nausea, inability to sleep or rest or focus. It would often take over a week before he could find any relief from the agony of an attack.
These attacks would send him to our basement guest room where he would bunker down away from the noise and chaos of the family. On the worst days he would need to retreat to his parents’ home where the pressure to be present with us was removed and he could recover.
My heart broke for him, and yet I was struggling, too. It just looked different.
Very quickly we began to search for a solution. He saw a wide variety of doctors and specialists, beginning what would ultimately be a bumpy four year journey toward healing, filled with side effects from meds, strides and set-backs, discouragement and hope.
I remember at one of the lowest points our son had caught a gastro bug and had been throwing up nonstop for over twenty-four hours. I needed my husband to take him to the ER. There was a good chance it would take hours to be seen, and I had to be available to nurse our baby. It was in the middle of a bad stretch for Jeremy and, even though he pushed through and got our son the care he needed, it was a setback in Jeremy’s recovery.
A Lifeline in the Middle of Hardship
A young family is, by nature, unpredictable, loud, and exhausting—the opposite of what is needed for someone to recover from an already overwhelmed adrenal system. I felt helpless. I was wholly unprepared and ill-equipped to help the man I love. Being present for my children and tending to their specific needs took every ounce of my energy.
I wondered where God was in all of it. Why, when life was already difficult enough, were we forced to endure this kind of struggle?
And yet, I was confident that God would not bring me to such a valley only to abandon me. Stuck to the door of our refrigerator was my son’s school memory verse. I found myself drawn to it, especially on the days when opening my Bible felt impossible. It read: “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV).
Those words became my lifeline.
Each day was a new opportunity to practice rejoicing, praying, and giving thanks in all circumstances. What I discovered was not an immediate removal of our struggle, not even an immediate healing of my husband, but rather exactly the amount of strength, patience, and grace that I needed for each moment.
I began to focus on all that we had, not what was lacking. To thank God for the support we experienced, not the struggles. To make the good days all the more special, rather than being discouraged by the numerous bad days.
Gratitude in hardship is not an apathetic acquiescence to the struggle, nor is it a forceful railing against the hard that exists in your life. Rather it is choosing to believe that even in the middle of adversity, or grief, or pain that God has promised to work all things together for the good of those who love Him. Even if that good is framed as growth, or refinement, or influence, and not a removal of the hard.
For over four years I have lived in a season of uncertainty with my husband’s health. As time passed, the space between hard days grew and our ability to manage increased. And while my husband is still healing, I am content. I can rejoice, and pray, and give thanks to a God who loves me enough to give peace even in—especially in—the storm.
Meet Chantal J. MacDonald
Teacher by trade, Chantal has a Master of Arts in English Literature from the University of Ottawa. She loves writing stories that will both entertain and encourage a variety of audiences. When she’s not writing or teaching, Chantal enjoys baking and traveling with her family. Chantal resides in Moncton, New Brunswick, with her husband and three young children.
Chantal is the author of two children’s picture books (Lester the Lobster and the Great Escape and Lorraine the Lobster Feels Blue) and two YA Christian romance novels (Hope at the Ocean’s Edge and A Harbour for Broken Hearts) with the third on the way. She is passionate about helping other writers on the journey of self-publishing.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
