How to Practice Gratitude in an Uncharted Place
I have always been a good navigator. Give me a map, a fixed point, a direction to go and I can get us there. When I was in high school I took a class that taught me how to triangulate my position on a map when I was lost by using a compass and a few fixed points of elevation. It helped growing up in the Mountain West where getting lost in the mountains provided you with many large, fixed points of elevation. I pride myself on knowing how to navigate the area around me.
For the past year, I have been working on mapping my way through the world with gratitude. Learning to see past my yucky circumstances to find the grace that is buried there, often in plain sight, like a treasure chest the pirates just dumped off on my front porch. It started with simply being thankful for the food on the table, even if it was simple, because it was a gift that had been provided to me and my family. It has grown to include the house, the jobs that pay the bills, the words that I write, even the dog that drives me nuts but gets me out for a walk every day.
Uncharted Territory
Recently, though, I’ve been forced into a new country, one that doesn’t have a map that I have zero familiarity with: the land of grief. I don’t have a map to navigate this new place. There are some fixed points on the horizon, but I most definitely don’t want to look at them to figure out where I am now. So very painful.
Just about a month ago, my Dad told me that signs of cancer were back. Once this treatment option has run its course, the options for further treatment are limited. There is a vague timeline attached to this, but the time that I once measured in years has been shrunk to months. I am a perpetually optimistic person, full of hope poured into me by the Holy Spirit, but as he reminds me every time we talk, there is only one way this ends. And he’s mostly okay with that.
I don’t like this new place. I don’t like its landmarks. The boundaries and borders are fluid and the journey is full of sharp pointy rocks. This is the first time I have really travelled here. I don’t know the rules, and even if I did, I’ll bet they are going to change once I figure them out.
What I’m Learning Here
I have already noticed two things, even though the horizon seems bleak and I know the inevitable direction I am headed.
One, I am not alone in this wide open place. I have friends and neighbors who are wandering here too. Some have a map. Some don’t. A few were dropped here unexpectedly, others knew this was where the journey was leading. Also, I travel with a Companion who doesn’t leave even in the darkest night. God holds me with the compassion of a mother holding her precious baby. I am not afraid here because He is with me, even though I hate it and find it unbearably sad.
Second, when I take my eyes off the horizon and look closer to me, I see things of beauty that well up in me a great gratitude:
- The diagnosis came early so we have some time to gather, to celebrate, to say goodbye.
- My kids are all thriving after years of struggle.
- The flowers I planted in my yard last year are attracting big, fat, happy bumblebees.
- The laughter of my next door neighbor, Wells, who is two.
- The way the changing of the seasons starts in a quiet change before it bursts into glory.
I don’t like the country I’m in right now, but it’s here I’m to wander for a bit. So I’m going to settle in, and be here, feel all the things as they come. But there is beauty here too. And for that, I am grateful.
Meet Sammy Beuker
Sammy Beuker is a lot of things: a mom, wife, child of God, youth director, and author. But what she really loves to do is cook delicious foods for the people she loves and share stories that bring about conversation, friendship, and compassion that mirrors the love of Jesus. You can find her writing on her website (www.sammybeuker.com) where she blogs about books and conversations or writes about life on the socials listed below. She also is the author of The Unfortunate Life of Genevieve Ryder, a work of women’s fiction, available on her website or amazon.com.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
10 Things You Might Be Doing That Keep Your Friendships Shallow
(+ 1 Simple Habit to Shift Your Direction)
If you long for deep, meaningful relationships, this is for you!
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
