“Are we millionaires?” my curious seven-year-old, who is known for asking zingers, inquired nonchalantly over dinner.

My husband and I confidently answered “not really” in unison, but she continued to pry. “Then, what are we?”

My eyes glanced at my husband with a look that suggested he take that one. With eyebrows slightly raised, complemented by a slight glance downward, I waited for his response and continued casually chewing my bite, albeit a bit more slowly.

He thoughtfully replied, “Well, we are defined more by what we give and by how we use it than by how much we have.”

See? I knew he would answer it better. In all honestly, I think I needed to hear his answer even more than my daughter because this consistently remains my hidden obstacle preventing wholehearted gratitude. Whether it was the previous decade in New York City where we struggled to make ends meet monthly, or the current season where we are navigating job loss and countless unknowns while preparing to send our oldest child to college, the call for gratitude along the way is increasingly challenging. Unknowns and the unexpected cloud our clarity of the future and stretch our faith in how God will provide for us today.

Even though my journal includes a prompt to record the good and I bless my food from a thankful heart, my heart remains tempted to grumble like the Israelites—doubting God’s provision in different seasons.  Can you relate?

Finding My Focus

One pattern I’ve observed through ups and downs, longings and prayers, is that my posture of gratitude has often relied upon what I’ve received from God over who God is. In other words, what I’ve been given has often taken precedence over who the giver is, resulting in disappointment, discouragement, and disillusionment.

When this happens, it negatively impacts my ability to love others well because my gaze is focused on my possessions over the people God has placed in my life. I compare what God has done for me with what He’s doing for others, as if His arms of generosity are different lengths. I’ve even measured God’s love for me by how much he rewards my faithfulness on earth, neglecting the fact that He invites us all into an eternal inheritance that far outweighs worldly gain. This hidden obstacle of focusing on what is seen over what is unseen, stifles my ability to think of others first and leaves me on a joyless journey of faithfulness.  

Jesus Fills Our Lack

If you, too, tend to focus on what is missing in your life over who is standing in the gap for you, be encouraged. I’ve learned that Jesus fills the areas where we experience lack, whether it be a lack of resources, a lack of contentment, or a lack of motivation. And as we rely on him to stand in the gap, watch as He fills the apparent voids of our lives with grace upon grace (John 1:16).

Included in that grace is the grace to love others even when it seems the scales of earthly reward are out of balance. We are better positioned to praise God for His gracious provision, that includes much more than money, when we trust He is working out what’s best for each one of us.  I’m reminded again today that a life of dependence on God is the richest life imaginable.

Our children are also listening and watching how we respond to the empty promises of this world. When they seek their identity in accomplishments or possessions it becomes an invitation to include them on this journey of gratitude with us. Even more, as we prioritize the eternal value of God’s presence over the temporary enjoyment of worldly possessions ourselves, we overcome this obstacle to wholehearted gratitude and open the door to unmatchable joy.

I was so grateful for the reminder around that dinner table that we are defined not by what we have, but by how we use it to love others for the glory of God. Recognizing our own obstacles in the curiosity of others is a gracious gift after all.

Meet Shawna Sullivan

Shawna is a writer and speaker who loves encouraging and equipping others toward a life of faithful stewardship with their time, money, and talents. Her passion for living faithfully, not perfectly, informs her words and ministry. Shawna connects with her readers through a bi-weekly newsletter, First Things First, where she shares practical resources and real-life applications to help women prioritize what matters most in a busy life. Connect with Shawna and find free resources to pursue a life of purpose over performance.

Where to find her . . .

• Website
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Free Resources
• 30 Prayers for Provision (Free Download)*

* This group of prayers is designed to help you anchor your heart so you can trust the heart of God and lean on His faithful promises to richly provide. 

Included in this eBook are: 

• 30 prayers for provision, such as: a Prayer for Protection, Prayer for Finances, Prayer for Joy, etc.
• 30 Bible verses to guide your prayer time and anchor your heart
• A prayer journal page to record your prayers, thoughts, and requests along with a space to record God’s faithful provision

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.