Normalize The Uncommon: What Happens When We See The People In Front Of Us
I look up, startled. “You haven’t been in for a while,” she notes aloud, then sincerely asks, “Are you doing alright?” I return her gaze with a quizzical expression. How in the world does the woman pulling groceries from my cart at Trader Joe’s remember me? It’s been years since I frequented. Trader Joe’s is across town from us and I no longer have a regular reason to be nearby. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve shopped here the past couple years.
Yet she remembered me–noticed that she had not seen me lately, and that I’d changed my hair color. That kind of caring is rare in our rushed and self-focused world. It will change an ordinary day to one you’ll never forget.
An Uncommon Normal
Minutes later, the delicious scent of cinnamon broom wafting through my car, I ponder our conversation. The clerk remembered me because she’d first been intentional to pay attention to the people passing through her line. She kept her eyes wide open as she worked. I wonder how many others she’s made feel seen in unexpecting moments.
What if I were a bit more like her? Noticed details and demeanor, presence and absence? Gave others a glimpse of how we each matter to God?
What if we forged against the grain of over-stacked schedules and shouldering it all solo? Could we carve capacity to connect and collaborate, champion, and care for each other? Imagine if our life rhythms pulled us closer to God and other people, reflecting the relational heart of our Father?
What if we made uncommon habits–like getting to know our neighbors and letting the things God is growing inside us ripple out into our neighborhoods and communities–normal?
Uncommon normal. You may remember the pairing of those two words. It’s the name I adopted when I first started blogging to capture the vision of normalizing what’s missional. Today it’s still the through line beneath every invitation to get close to Jesus and grow deep, missional friendships with your neighbors.
As the sweet cashier at Trader Joe’s taught me, an outward-focused lens isn’t complicated. We simply keep our eyes open and lean in as God nudges. We see people–not absent-mindedly, but with keen attention. We remember that people always matter more than tasks, even if what we do is for others.
We’re empathic and interruptible.
Engaged and intentional.
Rooted and rippling.
Let’s unpack each line together.
Empathetic & Interruptible
Empathy runs deepest when we adopt Jesus’s lens and His compassion for the people in front of us. One of my favorite tools for moving us in this direction is the Enneagram. As a spiritual growth tool, it encourages us to see how the people around us reflect various aspects of God’s nature, lean on each other to overcome our ruts and blindspots, and welcome the good hard work of becoming whole.
Discover your Enneagram number, what we love about you, how your Enneagram strengths help you love your neighbors well, and how to best love your neighbors with different numbers:
As empathy softens our hearts, we elevate the needs of others over checked to-do’s. We’re more willing to pause, briefly connect, step in to help–much like Jesus. As Sarah Butterfield articulates in her book, Around the Clock Mom, Jesus often “treated the interruption as if it was just as important as his agenda.”
Did He stick tight to His mission, even when it meant a decision that disappointed some? Yes. But many times the interruption aligned with His mission, and He leaned into the opportunity.
Engaged & Intentional
Paying attention is a powerful way to value our neighbors, and it creates opportunities to engage in meaningful ways, as the cashier at Trader Joe’s reminded me.
What if we moved towards the people right in front of us, seeking ways to value others and make them feel seen? Carrying the light of Jesus into our neighborhoods isn’t any more complicated than that.
It’s loving like Jesus in tiny ways and in cracks of time:
Smiles and hellos and nods of acknowledgement.
Noticing the dogs being walked so you know when they’re missing.
Complimenting the flowers being pushed into fresh dirt.
Asking about progress on a project you’ve witnessed as you walk.
These moments of intentionally engaging are like seeds sprinkled throughout your neighborhood.
Rooted & Rippling
You, my friend, are commissioned to be a seed-planting, ripple-producing reflection of Jesus. As you are faithful to plant, Jesus is faithful to tend tender roots–yours and the seedlings growing in the wake of your time with Jesus.
Tuck in next to Jesus until it becomes your favorite place (that’s getting rooted), then carry what you’re learning to imitate to the places you walk and talk and shop (that’s the ripple-effect of missional living).
Let’s read some excerpts of John chapter 15 that highlight how important it is to stay close to Jesus as we seek to bring His glory and light to the places around us:
If you abide in Me and My voice abides in you . . . your abundant growth and your faithfulness as My followers will bring glory to the Father.
vs. 7-8
I have loved you as the Father has loved Me. Abide in My love.
v. 9
Follow My example in obeying the Father’s commandments and receiving His love . . . I want you to know the delight I experience, to find ultimate satisfaction, which is why I am telling you all of this.
vs. 10-11
My commandment to you is this: love others as I have loved you. There is no greater way to love than to give your life for your friends. You celebrate our friendship if you obey this command.
vs. 12-14
You did not choose Me. I chose you, and I orchestrated all of this so that you would be sent out and bear great and perpetual fruit.
v. 16
Adopting an uncommon normal looks like eyes wide open, hands helping, words reaching towards the places that hurt. It’s borrowing Jesus’s lens, bearing fruit, rooting deep into God’s love, and letting the things He does inside us ripple out beyond us.
I’ll leave you with this prayer:
Jesus, we desire to live with our eyes wide open and to look through Your lens. Teach us Your heart, nature, and rhythms that pull You steadily towards people. May we remain rooted in Your love so we can reach the people right in front of us with Your light. May we make others feel seen the way You see us.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
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