Neighborhood Missional Living When I Don’t Live in a Neighborhood
This post is part of the “Obstacles to Neighborhood Missional Living” series, and it is available on both the blog and podcast. To view all the topics in the series, including where to read or listen to the other posts/episodes, click here.
In the midst of our world-wide efforts to flatten the curve of covid-19, missional living may have drifted off our radar. To compound the apparent disconnect, today we are talking about neighborhood missional living when we don’t even live in a neighborhood. Strike two. Yet I’m choosing to believe that because you are here, reading or listening, something in you also believes that living on mission is not only still relevant, it’s all the more needed. Non-neighborhood dwellers, today you may feel small, alone, insignificant—like an outsider looking in. I can relate. The weight of wanting to live a missional life yet thinking that it can only happen in certain scenarios is one I lived with for years. And I wish I had known then what I now know: many of the same principles of missional living in a neighborhood apply to missional living outside a neighborhood.
Let’s walk together today as we unpack five ways we can live missionally in our right-in-this-moment lives.
Is your soul, like mine, longing for a little more togetherness, a little more community, and a little more hope to rise? That unrest is a blessing. Because there is more. There is something that even covid-19 can’t take away from us. So let’s let the light push back against the darkness. Let’s lean in. Surrender. Dare to let expectancy explode. For there is no time in history like the present moment to cultivate rhythms of missional living that will be foundational post-coronavirus and applicable regardless of where you live.
Let’s pray before we begin:
Jesus, You are holy and present. May we feel the weight of Your glory as you lift the weight of our present worries from our shoulders?
We dare to hope for more. Lord, would You fan that flame? Increase our longing as we find both purpose and belonging in You.
Are you ready?
1 – Notice those around you.
One rainy morning at our bus stop earlier this year, the kids huddled together beneath the two umbrellas present stuck in my mind until the picture transformed into words: rain is an opportunity to share an umbrella. (You can read that post over here on the blog.) Rain—circumstances that bind us together in shared suffering—can blind us to each other, or gently help see. The things that press you into feeling small—are they perhaps also effecting others around you? To notice others, we must lift our gaze, acknowledge the pain, see where it is also etched on others’ faces.
As you intention to be more mindful of the people around you, it may be helpful to think through the circles of people you have regular contact with. Kristin Shell, author of The Turquoise Table, inspires others world-wide to foster places for community to gather. For many, this means placing a turquoise picnic table in their front yard. But the stories Kristin shares of turquoise-lovers cultivating spaces to gather outside of their neighborhoods pulls at my heart-strings. I listened to an interview on The Turquoise Table podcast about turquoise hospitality carts in a children’s hospital. It’s beautiful! In her book I read how turquoise tables were placed in a farmer’s market, a classroom, and the courtyard for office suites. Other ideas Kristen shares for expanding on where people are already gathering include “community gardens[s], schools playground[s], church courtyard[s], local coffee shop[s], retirement home[s] . . . [and] public librar[ies] . . .” (165).
Leslie Verner, author of Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness, shared about her realization that rather than looking everywhere else for people to serve and love, we could simply slow down and notice “the right-next-to-you people” (63-65). We all have “right-next-to-[us]” people—people we work with or our kids go to school with or we see at activities or places we frequent.
Who are the people you are in regular contact with or nearby places people are already gathering? Who in your life can you begin to truly notice?
2 – Value people.
I invite you to ponder these words from Ann Voskamp: “We will never reflect the image of Christ to the world unless we first see the image of God in everyone” (165). Seeing those around us as reflecting the very image of God begins with our eyes as we train them to notice those right in front of us. Yet it doesn’t end there, because seeing people in this light changes something deep down inside us. We begin to comprehend that there is immense value in everyone. We view different ways of seeing, different gifts and experiences and temperaments, as value-giving rather than value-decreasing. Our empathy for others grows, and our lifestyle begins to reflect a mindset that people matter.
How can we practically value the people we are noticing? Here are some ideas:
- Identify the pain point—the rain in their life—as well as what is currently filling them with joy. Try open ended questions like “What do you most need today?” or “What or who is filling you with joy?”
- Practice your listening skills.
- Follow-up (in-person or virtually).
- Engage in conversation with God about one small step you can make to serve where the need is greatest.
- If applicable, invite others to join in to serve as a community.
3 – Build community where you are planted.
We have put into practice noticing and valuing the people in our life we have regular interaction with. Now it’s time to begin cultivating community. This takes intentionality, humility, and patience. Give yourself grace to take baby steps, to mess up and relearn and keep trying. Stay true to yourself as you open your heart and let God’s Spirit direct you. The goal is to be an available vessel not a display-case Christian. Your authenticity and vulnerability as you welcome others to join you in everyday moments opens wider the door for Jesus’s name to be made great.
Showing a genuine interest in what the people around you enjoy is one way to begin building community. Likewise, you might invite a family you’ve met through an afterschool activity to join you for a meal or playdate/virtual playdate. Consider asking a co-worker to join you for a coffee shop chat, a game of tennis, or, more relevant for today, a Zoom check-in. Who could you text or call to see what needs they might have if you are still able to add items to your click-list or are going into the grocery store?
We don’t have to be community-building pros or have all our what-ifs answered to start with one simple baby step towards cultivating authentic community. Simply live your real, honestly-you life and respond as God guides you to each next step to take.
Building community takes time. Stay in it for the long-game. Regardless of where you live, God has called you to be a certain type of person, and that gives you purpose for living wherever it is that He has currently planted you.
4 – Disciple in your circles.
I invite you to read with me a verse that jumped out at me a few days ago during my morning routine. The words of Acts 4:13 are now pen-pressed into my journal: “When they observed the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed and recognized that they had been with Jesus.” Peter and John were uneducated and untrained. There were likely moments they too felt small, alone, and insignificant. Yet they didn’t stay here, focused on their lack and powerlessness. They instead chose to spend time with Jesus, and live from the inside out what they learned through this proximity to Jesus. This is the heart of what discipleship looks like: getting proximate to Jesus so we begin to imitate Him, simultaneously inviting others do life with us so they begin to “imitate us as we imitate Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Discipleship is what differentiates missional living from merely social connection. If we are simply trying to make more friends, we might have little motivation to be authentic even when our pride takes a sharp blow, to open up about what God is working out in our lives even if it shines a spotlight on our imperfections, and to lean hard into God so the life we are living is one worth imitating. Caesar Kalinowski, church planter and teacher/coach of a missional lifestyle, defines discipleship this way: “Discipleship is the process of moving from unbelief to belief, concerning what is true of God, and now true of us, in every area of life” (64).
As Christians, we each bear the mandate to “make disciples of all the nations . . . teach[ing] these new disciples to obey all the commands [God] has given [us]” (Matthew 28:19-20). This is a both/and call, not an either/or appeal—both far away and in our normal social circles. If the place you most frequently are is not a neighborhood, disciple in the circles you are connected to.
5 – Be a disciple who makes disciples who makes disciples.
As we can notice, value, build community with, and disciple people in our circles regardless of where we live, so too can we be disciple-making-disciples in our ordinary, everyday life. It sounds less intimidating if we think of this process as a ripple effect. We are now discipling others by inviting them in close enough to see us at our worst, not just at our best. The next step is to demonstrate organic discipleship in a way that those you are discipling in turn are discipling others, and so on.
Proximity is key to discipleship being effective and organic; however, intentionality can close the distance gap if your circles are further removed. Intentionality and creative, virtual methods are likewise currently necessary given the guidelines for social distancing. Yet discipleship and mission can still be a regular rhythm of your life. You can live on mission regardless of where you live.
Prayer for guidance as we adopt a missional lifestyle.
As we close, I invite you to pray Psalms 16:7-8 with me:
I will bless the Lord who counsels me—even at night when my thoughts trouble me. I always let the Lord guide me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Kalinowski, Caesar. Small is Big, Slow is Fast: Living and Leading Your Family and Community on God’s Mission. Zondervan, 2014.
Shell, Kristin. The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard. Thomas Nelson, 2017.
Verner, Leslie. Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness. Herald, 2019.
Voskamp, Ann. The Way of Abundance: A 60-Day Journey into a Deeply Meaningful Life. Zondervan, 2018.
