Two years ago, at the beginning of 2020, I quietly tucked a Bible verse into my husband’s go bag as he kissed our daughters one last time. I had penned it quickly, along with a rough illustration of the girls he was leaving behind. He then held me tightly, and went out the door. Yet another deployment, of which we are unfortunately quite used to, but this was our first deployment with no notice and no end date. The burden was heavy.

I couldn’t sleep the night before he left. How could I, when I knew what the morning held? I had done the only thing I knew would bring about peace: I prayed. I held my favorite Bible all night as I prayed, the old blue book my parents had gifted me in second grade, and I fell asleep clutching it.

When I awoke a few hours later to the sound of water running for my husband’s daily shave, the Bible’s soft leather cover was still tucked close to my heart. I silently got out of bed, wrote Psalm 28:7 as a comfort, and then snuck the card into his duffle bag: “The LORD is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.” When words do not come easily, use God’s.

What is muscle memory?

In Deuteronomy 11:18-20, it is instructed that God’s words be fixed in the Israelites “hearts and minds,” going so far as saying to “tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.” The Israelites are told to teach God’s words to their children during daily activities from morning until night. They are even told to put the Lord’s words on their door frames and gates so that they would be remembered.

It seems that this command to have Scripture posted everywhere is a bit much. But you don’t easily forget words that you have seen or heard every morning since childhood.

When you are drowning in fear, your body relies on muscle memory to get you through. During our darkest days, that is not the time to learn new tricks; our brains do not have the energy or space for them. Our body needs to simply go through the motions of life, doing what it has done every day since the beginning. Eat the comforting foods, mindlessly drink the water set before you, absentmindedly pet the dog. Muscle memory keeps us going. 

When your prayer life is silent because the words can’t form in the pit of despair, rely on the Scripture stored up in your heart. Pray the Lord’s Prayer. Allow yourself to sit in the presence of God with no pressure to “think up” flowery prayers. 

Visible reminders of God’s faithfulness

Faced with the stress and fear of deployment, I wasn’t sure how I would get through the next several months, for myself or for my children. But I had the words I had heard my whole life etched on my heart to guide me and give me strength. I had the artwork that my mother had gingerly made hung all over my house, encouraging me with Scripture. Even my coffee mugs praised Him; reminders of His faithfulness were everywhere.

The deployment was only the beginning of that difficult year. Next came a global pandemic, and then a national quarantine. Schools and work shut down, and solitary confinement within families was instituted. And with our family, we were missing the patriarch.

Yet we kept going.

For the muscle memory of Scripture that has been instilled within my soul since I was young, I am profoundly thankful. My gratitude cannot be formed into mere words to my parents, grandparents, teachers, and friends who have whispered the wisdom of God over me since childhood.

When I have felt empty of all things, Scripture rose to the surface. My Nana says it is another of God’s blessing, to have the Holy Spirit interceding when we don’t have the words. My Nana is a wise woman, and she speaks Truth, so I think she is right.

Store up the words of God in your heart. They will come to you when you need them.

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Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.