Loving Neighbors Today: How to Go from Theory to Practice

You know you’re a bit of a people-avoider when you feel a little trepidation over the short walk to get your mail, or feel your heart drop when there’s a knock at the door you weren’t expecting, or you see a neighbor out on her daily walk and think this is the day you will finally introduce yourself, but you chicken out again.

It feels safer to love your neighbor when you’re talking theoretically. According to Jesus, isn’t everyone my neighbor? My neighbor is the woman I see all the time at the checkout counter of the grocery store. It’s the stranger I held the door open for the other day. It’s the child I support through Compassion International.

True. True. And True.

But our neighbors are also the ones who literally live right next to us. The ones we’ve lived next to for years and still don’t know their names. The ones whose lawns make ours look like they’ve gotten a bad haircut. The ones with the dogs that never stop barking or the cars spilling out of their driveway or the kids who run the neighborhood. The ones it’s far too easy to take for granted.

It took me many years to put it together, that loving my neighbors also means loving the people God has placed in near proximity to me. I was the one who kept my front door locked unless I expected a visitor. I joined playgroups and church groups and met other young families all across town, but I couldn’t tell you more than two names of neighbors who lived next to us.

I didn’t realize what I was missing: the community that is possible with the neighbors right in front of me.

It’s easy to overlook what’s closest to us. We laugh when the thing we were looking for was hidden in plain sight. Yet it rarely crosses our minds to love on and do life with the people in our neighborhood.

We can get stuck asking questions like Who do I think I am? Wouldn’t it be awkward to say hi when I’ve been here for years and haven’t introduced myself yet? What if she thinks I’m weird? Why would she be interested in getting to know me?

So we put off inviting that neighbor mom to stop over for coffee while our kids play, say we’ll say hi next time, knowing that we never do. We press play on our busy lives and keep to ourselves, just like we always have.

Maybe after I move, I can start over and actually get to know my neighbors. Been there. Said that too. And if I could turn back time, I’d spend a little more time welcoming my neighbors into my heart, home, and life. Even though our house was small. Even though we lived on a busy road. Even though we didn’t plan to stay there long.

Will you dream with me?

If I could, I’d pop over to your house, and your house would be just as it normally is, not cleaned with the speed of Sonic mere minutes ago. We’d sit at your counter, amidst the dishes still scattered, and we’d talk about what it looks like to love our literal neighbors.

We’d dream up regular walks in the neighborhood, what we could bring out to the front yard that doesn’t need to be done inside, and so many little reasons to linger longer where we’re more visible to our neighbors. We’d envision the conversations about deeper things in life that transpire from simply noticing our neighbors and welcoming the interruptions. We’d even bring up buck-list items like hosting a weekly community meal or starting a missional community for our neighbors.

There would be this long pause because we’d both be thinking how much we long to be part of a community, to stop feeling so lonely even when we are surrounded by people, to wake up each day energized with purpose.

Then a phone would beep in a text and we’d be brought round to the present. It would dawn on us then that what we’re doing, just two people being real and really connecting, doesn’t have to stay on a wish-list. It could actually be possible, and we could do it with others that live right in our neighborhood.

We could adopt a way of living that welcomes our literal neighbors into our actual lives and lets the things God is working out inside us ripple out beyond us.

We could stop making it so complicated and simply begin asking God where He is already at work all around us—and then join Him there, one small step at a time.

We could begin living like we’ve been commissioned to love neighbors right in front of us, not only those on the other side of the globe.

This is what I’m praying for you:

Jesus, I pray for the people-avoider longing for something to change. Longing to be part of community. Longing for an ounce of brave. Would You meet her today? Tell her that You see her? Tell her that You hear her?

I pray for the one who loves well from a distance but struggles with loving those up close. Help her to trust You with her heart as she takes one baby step at a time towards loving her literal neighbors.

I pray for the ones down the street and around the bend. I pray that You would reveal the way You love them, the way You hold them, the way You invite them. Give us the courage to say hi first.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

---

10 Things You Might Be Doing That Keep Your Friendships Shallow

(+ 1 Simple Habit to Shift Your Direction)

If you long for deep, meaningful relationships, this is for you!

Change your actual life in less than 5 minutes per day!

You can change your actual life in less than 5 minutes a day because baby steps truly can change the trajectory of your life. If you want 2021 to be the year you actually start living on mission in your neighborhood, this little book (available as a paperback and on Kindle) will help you get there. Each of the 30-day devotions takes but a few minutes to read, but they will lead to lasting life change.