How to Love Well this Christmas When You Feel Empty

I wonder if some of you are feeling a bit numb this month. Perhaps you’ve lost someone you love and Christmas will not feel the same without them. Perhaps you’re grieving other things in other ways—and there’s a hole that feels bottomless. Perhaps you have given tirelessly for so long, but now you’re burned out and worried you won’t bounce back.

And going through the motions of all the Christmas things this year just feels like too much.

From a friend to a friend, I get it. I’ve cried more tears this past week than years combined. And it’s hard to keep pressing on with the routine things, much less all the extras like Christmas shopping and December birthday party planning, when the pit in my stomach won’t go away.

So to those of us feeling wrung out.

Plateaued.

Robotic.

Or hallow.

To those of us who want to smile again with our eyes.

To those of us who need hope like a candle burning in the dark, nestled in a wreath green with life.

Let’s talk about how we love well this Christmas when we feel empty. How we root ourselves deep into God because what we give doesn’t come from within us, it comes from Him within us.

I’ve been working through my copy of The Passion Translation and recently began the book of Matthew. If you’ve never read the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-10) in this version before, please stay with me for a few more minutes. It may not be the typical Advent reading, but there’s something here today for us who long to be missional and love well but feel emptied.

“It is no use for you to attempt to sow out of an empty basket,” wrote Charles Surgeon,” for that would be sowing nothing but wind.” And the Beatitudes speak hope into our dried up, beat up, and worn out places—hope that’s for us but also to be shared.

I learned from the footnotes that the word translated most often to the English word blessed is layers deeper. The Aramaic word is toowayhon, and it’s better described with our word bliss. It refers to “the capacity to enjoy union and communion with God.” To better bring the richness of the toowayhon into the Beatitudes, The Passion Translation uses various words in place of blessed.

As we read, let’s remember that bliss is abundantly available, especially to those who feel empty. It’s not a conjured-up feeling; it’s not a mind-over-matter, pull-yourself-up-by-your bootstraps scenario. It’s a God-come-in-the-middle-of-the mess promise that all our lack leads us to Him.

The blessed life, the blissful life, holds joy because of who we are with, not because of what we are walking through.

He promises to be with us, and His promises are as sure as the sun’s rising and setting.

The blessings He promises in the Beatitudes are for you. And for me. And they are for today.

Let’s begin.

The Beatitudes (in The Passion Translation)

What happiness comes to you when you feel your spiritual poverty! For yours is the realm of heaven’s kingdom.

v. 3

May we know our lack so we can receive His full. May we see ourselves rightly, and come humbly before Him, so He can right the things that have gone awry. May we depend fully on Him so we can walk in the fullness of His kingdom.

What delight comes to you when you wait upon the Lord! For you will find what you long for.

v. 4

May our grief be turned to rejoicing as we anticipate Christ coming. May we find ourselves face to face with the One we seek.

What blessing comes to you when gentleness lives in you! For you will inherit the earth.

v. 5

May we hold our hands open and trust that the hand of our Father is good. May we be makeekheh, the Aramaic word meaning “both gentle and flexible” (per the footnotes).

How enriched you are when you crave righteousness! For you will be satisfied.

v. 6

May we desire the things that reflect God’s goodness breaking in. May we know that He alone can touch the emptiness.

How blessed you are when you demonstrate tender mercy! For tender mercy will be demonstrated to you.

v. 7

May we see others how God does so we can treat others how God does. May our hearts be tender for the ones He holds with care.

What bliss you experience when your heart is pure! For then your eyes will open to see more and more of God.

v. 8

May we welcome the refining of the season we are in, and rejoice for the ways it will help us see God more clearly.

How joyful you are when you make peace! For then you will be recognized as a true child of God.

v. 9

May we bring peace into every room we enter because the Peace that passes all understanding has claimed us as His. May we know we belong to Him, even when we don’t feel like we do.

How enriched you are when persecuted for doing what is right! For then you experience the realm of heaven’s kingdom.

v. 10

May we hold every decision before Him and choose the way the honors Him no matter what it may mean for us in the moment. May we know that our home is heaven though we live in the tension of the now and not-fully-consummated.

Oh friends, God sits with us in the midst of grief and burnout and lead-heavy hearts. He invites us to life with Him, to partner with Him as He brings His kingdom here on earth as we wait for heaven. May we make room for Him in the next-to-us place this Christmas because only then can we love well, like Him.

A prayer to love well this Christmas

God, would You spark hope in our hearts as we hold our hands open in expectation the remainder of Avent? We give you the things that weigh heavy on us today, and we trust that You are at work in us, around us, and through us even when we can’t make out the story. Hold us close and help us to lean into You so we can love well and live with hearts full this Christmas. We love You. In Your holy and precious name, Lord, we pray. Amen.

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