How to Keep Going When Life Feels Like A Dead-End Road

Sometimes it feels like you’ve hit a dead-end. That relationship or thing you were growing that you thought would last forever appears to be over. Sometimes it seems there’s a giant roadblock in the only way forward.

It’s happened to me too. And rejection stings no matter which angle we look at it. Endings can upend us. Loss leaves a void.

The other morning the full sun and projected 20-degree rise convinced me that 30-some degrees was the perfect temperature for a morning walk. It’s rare that my husband and I can walk the neighborhood together right after school drop-off, but that day we did. We tried to ignore how cold our legs were as we talked about seasons and how sometimes when it seems we’re on a dead-end road, God’s actually been opening up a different route.

I know dead-end roads

I’m familiar with dead-end roads. Where I’m from, they’re usually made of gravel. When I was learning to drive, it was pre the luxury of GSP on my phone. I relied on my own intuition (which was in fact, quite unreliable) or printed out MapQuest directions (which are about zero help when you fail to follow them precisely—don’t ask me how I know). So sometimes I wouldn’t know I was on a dead-end road until I saw the yellow, diamond road sign.

I can still hear the gravel crunching beneath slow-moving tires as I’d U-turn before the road’s abrupt end.

Dead-ends can feel like a let-down. They can be frustrating and annoying when you think you’re on your way and then suddenly realize you’re going to be late. They can unsteady you like loose gravel under your tires.

But sometimes, like what my husband and I pondered that day, what looks like a dead-end is really a God-opening-another-way-story. Sometimes we’re just so wrapped up in our expectations of what that thing will look like that we’re blind to the alternate route opening right before us.

There is always a way to keep going when we’re going after God.

It just might look a little different than the picture in our minds we’ve taken the liberty to frame and hang on our wall.

Soft and steerable

There’s a phrase I remember from one of the summers I spent on a youth mission trip. I can’t remember who said it or exactly how the words go, but the idea is this: it’s easier for God to steer us in the right direction if we’re out on the water moving, not anchored at the shore.

I’ve been the one to pray and sit and wait until I get a clear answer. There’s a time and place to wait as there is a season for all things under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). But sometimes waiting can become an out for taking action.

Listen to the caution in James 1:22:

Don’t just listen to the Word of Truth and not respond to it, for that is the essence of self-deception. So always let his Word become like poetry written and fulfilled by your life!

TPT

We are to be those to listen and respond. In other words, we are to remain soft and steerable.

When we stop being steerable, we can end up making a U-turn on a gravel, country road, wondering where God went and why He left us. But perhaps He’s five paces behind us, opening up a new way. We just couldn’t see Him because we were looking in the wrong direction.

Signs you’re on a dead-end road

I’ve been on more dead-end roads than I wish to admit. These roads were leading to good things, dreams I thought God had spoken. But somewhere along the way, I elevated those dreams over the Dream-Maker. I started trying to make things happen on my own. I stopped being steerable, and I couldn’t even see it. Until I reached the road sign telling me I’d gotten off track.

You, too, might be rushing along on a dead-end road if

• You think you’ve got it all under control
• You get frustrated when it doesn’t happen as soon as you want it to
• You don’t trust anyone besides yourself
• You tighten your hold on the plan
• You want to rush the journey
• You call God good only when He does what you want Him to
• You feel entitled to your dream
• You feel like it’s your fault it’s not working
• You worry that you’ll disappoint others if you change course
• You assume you will no longer be liked if you have to say no
• You consistently say yes when you really want to say no
• You get defensive quickly
• You always feel guilty for not doing enough

This whole list may not apply, but if you resonate with a few, perhaps it’s time to get real with God and talk about the condition of your heart. Has your heart been soft and steerable? Are you letting God lead, or are you pushing ahead on your own? What are you trying to earn, prove, or protect?

It’s ok to let it go.

It’s ok to fail at the things that lead you down a dead-end road.

It’s ok to turn around, admit you were wrong, and let God steer you in His way.

There’s not just one way to live a life of meaning that points people around us to Jesus. There’s not just one way to be a friend. There’s not just one way, either, to live with a missional mindset and love our neighbors well.

Let God steer you, my friend, and you won’t go wrong.

Here’s what I’m praying for you today:

Lord, I pray for the one feeling deeply discouraged. She feels like this might be the end, and she feels undone. Show her that you see her and help her to know how very much You care.

I pray for the one who feels she missed it, fallen behind, or messed it up. Remind her that there is always a way forward

I pray for the one clinging too tight to her way. Show me that there’s always a way to keep going when she’s going after You—it just might look different than what she expects. Help her embrace Your gentle steering and trust that You know the way.

When her heart becomes prideful or callous, lead her back You, where she doesn’t have to earn or prove a thing. When she needs to let go, show her that You’re never stopped reaching for her.

Amen.

May you be brave with Him,

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Wish you knew your IRL (in-real-life) neighbors?