How to Lean Into the Waves When Life Gets Real

I confess it’s rare a movie captures my attention enough to not prefer doing something else. Or maybe I just don’t like sitting still, especially if my mind isn’t creating. Rehashing childhood memories the other day reminded me that I was a kid constantly in motion. A kinetic learner. Movies usually put me to sleep.

But in spite of my odd take on movies, I found myself engrossed in one the kids turned on the other night: True Spirit, which is based on the real-life story of sixteen-year-old Jessica Watson, who endeavors to be the youngest to sail solo, without stopping or help, around the world.

At one point, Jessica reminds her coach that he’d told her to work with the waves, not fight against them. I won’t spoil the movie in case you haven’t seen it yet, but let’s borrow this nugget of wisdom because it applies to

the overwhelm you feel as you think about what you still need to do before the first day of school
the fear pinching hard, making it difficult to breathe, see the good in God, get up in the morning
the impostor syndrome that says you can’t and shouldn’t do that thing God put on your heart
the hard stuff that gets in between you and your spouse, you and one of your kids, you and a friend

Falling Back or Building Walls

We’re quick to turn to the shore when the waves get reckless—or at least I am. I can see every single thing that could go wrong, talk myself out of starting because I already know it’s too cumbersome, inconvenient, uncomfortable. That’s what happens when an Enneagram 9 gets stuck in her head. She lets fear drive. Becomes a worst-case-scenario thinker. Maybe you get it too.

When I’m facing waves, I’d rather put distance between. Insulate. Isolate. Ignore. Nothing in me wants to move toward the pain, conflict, or crisis.

If I don’t pick the shoreline, I brace for impact. Fight or flight looks like building walls or falling back. Controlling or avoiding.

I’ve spent a lot of time on the shore, and I’ve also built a whole lot of walls in the name of playing it safe. Denied that I need help. Cared more about keeping it together than being real. Told God white lies like “I trust you” when I’m actually trying to solve it myself.

But walls and waves don’t mix. You can’t force-quit waves when they’re thrashing wild. You can’t still them by throwing up walls. You’ll fight them on your way back to the shore or you’ll fight them from the other side of the wall.

Working With The Waves

What if Mary Demuth is onto something when she penned “We blame God for the very things that are meant to glue us to Him” in her book, Everything (pg. 112)?

To echo Jennie Allen’s question in Find Your People, “What if the hard stuff brings the depth of friendship we are craving?” (pg. 130).

Jennifer Dukes Lee paints this crossroads in Growing Slow: “We can let the upending of everything reorder the whole of our lives. Or we can go back to where we were. Which will we choose?” (pg. 201).

We blame God for the very things that are meant to glue us to Him_Mary Demuth quote from Everything

Three books. Three authors. All saying there’s more to gain by pressing into the storm than trying to avoid or stop it. That hard things and good things are not always separate things. That we have agency in the decision.

Let’s circle back to Mary Demuth’s book, Everything, because I love how she articulates leaning into the struggle:

What if we embraced the radical truth that God is clearly seen through our cracks, not our smooth facades? How would this look if we dared believe such a paradox? God breaks us for better things . . . because He knows we’re happiest when we’re most dependent on Him.”
pg. 111

I’ve witnessed the way a young family cracked and shined brilliant hope in their stretched-out dark hour. I’ve cracked too, in praying for them, and found Mary’s words profoundly true: “We are nearer to the heart of God when we break” (pg. 111). It’s not where God is that changes, but where we are in relation to Him.

When we fall back or self-protect, we create distance between us and God. Why? Because He takes us through—not around—the storm.

Here’s what He promises us in Isaiah 43:1-2a:

Now, this is what Yahweh says:

“Listen, Jacob, to the One who created you,

Israel, to the one who shaped who you are.

Do not fear,

for I, your Kinsman-Redeemer, will rescue you.

I have called you by name, and you are mine.

When you pass through the deep, stormy sea,

you can count on me to be there with you.

When you pass though raging rivers,

you will not drown.
TPT

The great and glorious I Am, who filled the sky with sun, moon, galaxies of twinkling stars, rooted trees, grass, flowers beneath clouds that float and birds that fly, blew breath into clay and made us come alive—this Creator God shaped us, named us, and called us His own.

He invites us into the center of the storm because He’s already there.

God invites us into the center of the storm because He’s already there.

Leaning in might mean honest conversation about what you’re holding too tight. Lies you’re believing. Blame you’re misplacing. Also, naming your needs. Asking for help. Receiving it. Facing what you’ve been avoiding. Learning healthy ways to engage in conflict. Pushing up your sleeves and getting into the gritty and messy with someone else. Making that phone call. Scheduling that appointment. Opening up to deep accountability. Praising God before He heals, restores, redeems.

Take a moment and talk with God about what working with the waves looks like for you.

I’ll leave you with this prayer:

May we be the kind of neighbors who follow God into the tempest and waves, pray raw honest from the right-next-to-Him-place, share how we’re learning to cling to Him while we’re still in the middle chapters of the story.

May we find courage to lean in when we’d rather fall back or build walls.

May we choose depth, joy, peace, grace over safe.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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