I was grumpy. There was no way to sugarcoat the mood I was in. On this particular morning, I could have been the poster child for Snow White’s disgruntled dwarf.  

For the last eight years my office had been seven miles from my house. A short commute. Minimal traffic. Familiar surroundings. Co-workers that felt more like family. It was comfortable.

A corporate takeover followed by a pandemic squashed all of that in short order. Returning from several months of remote work brought with it a change of location that included a 40-minute (on a good day!) one-way commute, gridlocked traffic on the regular, and a new office that felt more like a dungeon in the basement floor of a high rise.

As I entered the office, I’m sure my foul mood preceded me. And if not, my face surely told the tale of my displeasure. As I realized it was my day to man the phone lines my spirit soured even further. Ugh, I should have called in sick. Feeling more like a whiner than an Employee Wellness Coordinator I knew I needed an attitude check, but that didn’t seem to be coming quickly.

The Phone Call

I hadn’t even put my bags down yet when the phone started ringing. “I’m just going to let that go to voicemail,” my mind grumbled. But something in my spirit nudged me to pick it up now. Fumbling to toss my purse off my shoulder, I picked up the handset, shoved it onto my shoulder and up to my ear, offering the standard greeting so fast I wondered if the person on the other end could even discern it as English.

As silence filled the airwaves, I started to repeat the greeting a bit slower when I heard the sounds of distressed breathing in my ear. “I…need….to speak…to a counselor….” the voice gasped out. Immediately all my trivial laments left me, and I dove head-first into managing the moment unfolding before me.

This person was clearly in crisis and, with all of our counselors in session, it was up to me to begin triage on the situation. Calmly and slowly, I asked this person their name. Through their accelerating breathing, they shared their name and that they were having a panic attack. Wanting to go get one of the licensed therapists but not wanting to get off the phone until I knew they were okay, I offered a quick internal prayer to God and asked Him to lead me in how to help the person in need on the line.

I began talking softly and slowly to the voice on the other end. I invited them to breathe with me, encouraging them with each slow breath they drew in and released. Gradually I could sense their distress waning, their breath slowing, and their spirit calming. Finally, confirming they would be okay on a brief hold, I got them a counselor to speak with.

Inconveniences or Grace?

Collapsing into my chair with a heavy sigh, a tear made its way down my flushed cheek as I humbly began to thank God for His grace. My earlier grumbling was washed away by the gratitude overflowing from my heart as I realized the minor inconveniences of my morning were all a part of God’s plan to have me in the right place at the right time to serve His child in need. Why God would desire to use a grumbling wretch like me in His Kingdom work was a mystery to me.

Offering Him my humble and contrite apology, I expressed my gratitude to Him for overlooking my flaws and using me in spite of my clear failure to deserve it.  But that’s the beauty of grace. God extends it. We receive it. That settles it.  How can we be anything but grateful for it?

My heart changed that day. My attitude transformed. When inconveniences come my way I now wonder if it’s a divine setup for something spectacular. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to serve Him, to be used by Him. And I certainly don’t want to be found grumbling when I could be growing in gratitude and grace.   

Meet Cyndi Staudt

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Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.