As far back as I can remember into my early childhood, fear and worry were always a big part of my life. Being chronically ill since birth caused a lot of uncertainty in my day-to-day life. My mind would spiral to what health crisis would come crashing down next. Another big feeling I experienced often was loneliness. Usually at the later hours of the night when the quiet and stillness is almost deafening, these three uninvited guests would occupy rent-free space in my mind.

I have experienced five major miracles in my life–things that have happened over the years with my health–and I am so very blessed to be able to say this. But it’s easy to find gratitude in the big things if we are lucky enough to experience them in life. It is in the day-to-day noise of our busy but at times mundane lives where it is not as easy to find gratitude, for me anyway. 

Even now, as a 50-year-old single woman without children, I still struggle with loneliness. I don’t have a job, so no social life through work friends, etc. I also struggle most days with chronic pain. Pain can make you very depressed and give you a sense of hopelessness. So, for my mental health, I started practicing gratitude. 

A Mindset Shift

By accident, I discovered that I couldn’t feel gratitude and loneliness, fear, or depression at the same time. The grateful feeling in my heart helped me to start thinking about the many blessings in my life. 

I began focusing on the good instead of the bad–and found out why so many people call it a gratitude practice. It truly takes a lot of practice. When I sat down to write this piece I was taken aback at how difficult I actually found writing about gratitude. Something I have made a practice of was so hard to put into words. For me it also took much perseverance–like making a habit of gratitude.

Days when I feel really sick or have a lot of pain it is truly very difficult to find gratitude. I’ve always known God was there for me as a friend, but in the last few years I truly began to pray to Him like I was talking to a friend. I asked God to help me to feel less alone and to give me strength on the days I felt as if I just couldn’t keep going. God wants us to ask for His help, but we must ask.

There is a scripture verse on a plaque hanging in my bedroom. I like to read it a couple times a day to remind myself to live in the moment. This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I am better at it now, only through God’s grace and the practice of finding gratitude in the day-to-day and giving Him the glory. The scripture passage is Philippians 4:6-9, which reads, 

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

NABRE

I use this scripture passage as a reminder of what to set my mind on, as Paul said. I think Jesus knew there would surely be many things in life to cause us all anxiety, stress, and worry. He says many times throughout scripture “Be not afraid.” 

Paul also knew that if we set our minds on any or all of the things in that passage it will be hard to feel worry and anxiety. Gratitude in this way has given me freedom in my mind and heart. I can feel much more at peace and therefore even less lonely.

These days I find myself trying to be grateful for everything I can think of. I try to remember to even be grateful for the bad stuff because it has a purpose in our lives even if we don’t know it.

God deserves the praise in all He has given to us. Remaining in Jesus is not just one of many things we are asked to do as Jesus-followers. It is the one thing from which everything else proceeds. To miss this is to miss Him and to miss Him is to miss it all.

Meet Melissa Winters

Where to find her . . .

• Instagram
• Email: mimijw83@gmail.com

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.