How to Make Those Serving You Feel Seen
As I paid for my purchase in a rundown department store across town from my home, I pondered the expression on the cashier’s face.
Hair drooped from a limp ponytail, and exhaustion crossed her forehead into her eyes as she handed me the receipt.
I couldn’t blame the discouragement she wore like a shawl. The store’s lighting cast shadows on the dusty floors and the chaotic piles of clothing slipping off sagging tables.
Shopping at this discount store, which I seldom visited, didn’t inspire me either.
Wait until she looks up.
I recognized the Holy Spirit’s whisper, but why?
Make eye contact and thank her.
When she looked at me, puzzled, I smiled. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
“For what?” she asked.
“For serving me today.”
After a puzzled nod from her, I picked up my receipt and waved goodbye.
Why was that so important?
Over the next weeks, as I prepared for a trip to Seattle, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the cashier’s discouraged face.
I want you to make eye contact with everyone who serves you. When they look at you, tell them thanks. Even the ferry ticket taker.
I laughed. But I obeyed. Even if I held up the ferry an extra 10 seconds to thank the ticket taker!
Meeting the Eye and Offering Thanks
In the twenty years since that reminder to meet the eye and thank those who serve me, I’ve had awkward moments.
But the way people’s faces change when someone recognizes and thanks them for their work, remains a blessing to me—even when it feels silly.
Indeed, as the moment lingers and the store clerk doesn’t look up, people often shuffle behind me in line or clear their throats. When the clerks do make eye contact, they’re confused or puzzled when I smile and thank them.
You can imagine the responses to my earnest, “Thank you.”
“Is there something wrong?”
“No. I just wanted to say thanks.”
“Ah. Okay?”
“Thank you very much.”
“That’s it?”
We live in a society that frequently overlooks those who serve us. We often think, “But it’s their job”—which it is. But doesn’t everyone deserve our gratitude when they assist us?
Noticing the Individual
Long ago, I traveled overseas with a friend to inspect a small parts factory. We walked down the long assembly line together, him inspecting the work, me looking at the line workers.
The women wore similar haircuts and the same uniform as they stood along a conveyor belt fitting together small parts.
Later, the friend commented that the factory reminded him of a beehive with all the busy worker bees buzzing to complete their project, all looking and acting the same.
“But they’re individuals,” I argued. “If you looked closely, you could tell each worker apart. One might wear clips in her hair, one had a Snoopy pin on her apron, another wore lipstick, and their supervisor liked to clap her hands and shout.”
He stared at me. “How do you know that? They’re all like bees in a hive.”
I shook my head. “Every worker individualized herself. They’re all different.”
How did I know?
I looked closely at some and thanked them for their work.
Some women smiled or glanced at me before returning to their (timed) work.
They recognized thanks in my tone and expression.
Valuing The People Serving You
During Covid, the only strangers I regularly saw worked at the supermarket. Whenever I met a worker, I thanked them for coming to work that day.
A shelving clerk laughed. “Well, it’s my job.”
“Yes. But if you didn’t come to work today, I wouldn’t be able to buy food. Thanks.”
Most of the time they’d laugh or smile. Someone saw them. Someone appreciated them.
And do you know what?
Thanking people always makes me smile or laugh, too.
Gratitude, thankfulness, recognition, and acknowledgment come in many forms.
Most people want their work and efforts valued.
A simple “thanks” can do it—and isn’t hard at all.
Meet Michelle Ule
Michelle Ule is a blogger, biographer, novelist, and the author of eleven books. A Bible study leader for many years, she still practices gratitude in everyday life. Learn more at www.michelleule.com.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
