How to Make the Decisions You’d Rather Avoid or Rush

Several need-answers-soon decisions surface the same week, and I’m avoidance and rush shaken like oil and vinegar. They’re big decisions, the kind I like to make quickly—that is, unless they affect other people. Then I’d rather stay so busy I don’t have to think about letting anyone down.

That’s the thing about our yeses and nos. They’re an ampersand, like the seesaw on the playground that’s simultaneously high and low. Every time we say yes, we say no to something—or someone—else.

Sometimes it’s obvious, like a choice to take one job and turn down another, or attend one school versus another. Other times the no tagging along with the yes is simply a less—less capacity to create or connect or earn or excel in another arena.

Lysa Terkeurst says it like this in The Best Yes:

If I want to choose a Best Yes, it’s crucial I make room for it first. Otherwise, a Best Yes can quickly become a stressed yes. And a stressed yes is like snow on a tree that refuses to release its leaves. It causes cracks and breaks at our core.

I’ve been that tree weakened by too many yeses. I say I won’t quit anything I’ve started, won’t let anyone down, but none of us can keep adding more without letting something go. Most of the time we have to learn the hard way.

Trying to juggle it all means we sacrifice sleep and stress-snap and accidentally sabotage relationships that matter a lot to us. We simply can’t do everything well at the same time. Can’t be everything for everyone at the same time. The math doesn’t add up.

Thinking vs. Listening

Just because we know in our heads that there’s a give and take–that no decision is neutral–doesn’t mean the answer is clear. If you’re like me, you try to not think about one impending decision by making another one. 

I distract myself by writing lists and outlines, weighing options, trying to force creativity, hurry the process. Then it strikes me: I’m thinking (read: overthinking) when I really need to listen. 

So I lay down the self-imposed pressure to figure it all out now. Tidy the garage. Play a familiar song on the piano. Remind myself that the answer to everything is always eyes on Jesus.

He’s the kind of peace that settles in the midst of uncertainty. In the tensions of trying to please and control and also trust and let go. In the begging for wisdom. 

Maybe that’s what spurs my morning walks. I’m seeking peace. Longing for intimate conversation with the King of all I behold—and all I think I can control. I want to hear God speak, because His voice soothes and frees and inspires.

I think peace is the reward of a made decision, but Jesus says, “I’m with you NOW. Turn your eyes towards me. Tune into My voice. I will guide you.” And that’s peace—with-ness in the now and not-yets and unknowns.

Listening to God produces a different kind of fruit than trusting my own decision-making: a tender, expectant heart. Trust. Faith. Inner rather than exterior strength.

That’s what I’m after—the tenderizing work of the Holy Spirit over logical answers because as a wise woman recently told me, “Obedience often isn’t linear.” Listening to His whispers is key to making wise decisions. We can compare pros and cons, rationalize, what-if, and play it out in our heads. But God blesses obedience. He wants us to trust He’s abundantly able even when the math doesn’t add up. 

As I hold the decisions I want to delay and the ones I’m tempted to rush in open hands, here’s what’s helping me tune in to God’s voice right now.

1–Carving Capacity to Hear Him

When God’s voice is indiscernible, it’s a clue I need more margin. So I temper the urge to rush or run away from decision-making by carving capacity to hear Him. For me, it looks like bent knees, Spirit-drenched worship on repeat, walking in the woods, and journaling.

Kneeling is a way to posture our physical body in reverence, submission, and expectancy. I find I know God differently on my knees because it’s easier to tune everything else out and focus on Him. I still my body and it trains my soul to seek Him.

If you follow my Instagram stories or subscribe to Tuesdays with Twyla, you know the songs I can’t turn off. Most of them are recorded-live and aren’t polished enough to make the radio-cut. But they grow my awareness of God, my hunger for Him, and my ability to hear His voice. If you could use songs like this, find my playlist in the resource library.

God’s creation exclaims His nature, and it’s no wonder many of us feel more connected to God when we’re outside. Add in the benefits of exercise for our mental health and creativity, and walking outside becomes a powerful decision-making tool. Playing worship music in my earbuds as I walk helps me practice listening.

A journal is an invitation to come exactly as you are and talk honest with God. Writing out prayers helps me articulate where I’m struggling and remember God’s ever-true promises. When I lean into conversation with God rather than drawing lists and drafting outlines, I let my restless mind exhale. It creates space to see and hear God better.

2–Praising Him Before I Know

The second practice that increases my sensitivity to Spirit nudges is to praise God for who He is, right in the middle of the pressure to make the best decision. It’s a declaration that He’s worthy of all honor and adoration, no matter what. Before I know what comes next.

Often it begins with my gratitude list:

8472–You still speak. We are still invited to hear (Num. 7:8-9)

8473–You are still holy and worthy of our very best (Num. 7)

8474–”The only safety I know is found in the moments I seek You” (Psalm 16:1, TPT)

8475–”The only good I know in this world is found in You alone” (Psalm 16:2, TPT)

8476–”You hold my future and my eternal riches” (Psalm 16:5, TPT)

8477–Your “wise teaching orchestrates my days and centers my mind at night” (Psalm 16:7, TPT)

Make a habit of revering God in the quiet and you’ll accidentally praise Him out loud. And imagine the impact a timely, God-directed praise can make for someone who overhears!

As you learn to trust God with your decisions, you can light the way for others. Cultivate habits that make it easier to hear God’s voice, and you simultaneously model them for others. 

Let’s pray.

Jesus, You’re with us when decisions feel weighty and we worry we’ll choose wrong. Help us to hear Your voice. Bring peace and clarity, but more than that, grow our hunger to seek and know You.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

---

P.S. Prefer the audio? Subscribe to The Uncommon Normal podcast for the same weekly content!