How to Heal from Words That Have Wounded Us
Which are the words that linger, the ones you hear in your head in your lowest moments, the ones that wear you down or beat you down or wound you many times over? Many of us have discovered the heavy truth that words indeed can hurt us, and the ones that dismantle us on the inside often don’t wound just once. Today if it’s hard to see how God can use you as a light in your neighborhood when the dark of destructive words is a reality you face daily, I want to speak hope into your hurt—to share how there is a way to be whole, how it is possible to heal.
God knows every word spoken with the intent to harm you, and He says that is not who you are.
He knows the words that landed in your heart that weren’t spoken with ill-intent, but you’ve never forgotten them and think less of yourself because of them, and He says that you are more than those words.
He knows the words you’ve tried so hard to forget, and He says He will never forget about you.
He knows how you’ve felt disqualified or not enough, and He says He is the more-than-enough for you.
He knows the silent tears you’ve cried, the walls that seems to barricade you in, and the way you criticize the person in the mirror. And His gentle gaze can melt through to the core of your heart so you can hear how He calls you His dear one, His precious child, His beloved.
He sees you. Maybe today of all days you feel unseen, unusable, unhealable, buried deep in words that have wounded you.
But He sees you.
And He calls you. To Himself. To come near because only He can heal.
He longs to release you from the weight of wrongly-spoken words—words that cannot define you or confine your purpose to shine brightly the glory of God within you. He doesn’t dismiss you. He placed irreplaceable value inside you, and today He beckoning you to also see it.
Ten practices that will help you heal
When the wrong words are loud in our ear, it’s nearly impossible to not listen to them. Simply trying to ignore them is often fruitless and sets us up to fail. We were never meant to live in the light without being near the light source. The following ten practices will help you heal from the wounds caused by words spoken to or about you because where light shines, darkness disappears.
1—Speak truth out loud to the person in the mirror
Words become concrete when we speak them, so speak aloud truth about yourself that is grounded in the word of God. Looking yourself straight in the eye as you remind yourself, over and again, of what is true, will help it sink deep. Here are a few truths you can start with:
God “saw who [He] created me to be before I become me!” (Psalm 139:16 TPT).
God “[cherishes] me constantly in [His] every thought” (Psalm 139:17-18 TPT).
My faith is my “wrap-around shield . . . in every battle” (Ephesians 6:16 TPT).
I am “God’s chosen treasure . . . his very own . . . [called] out of darkness to experience his marvelous light . . . so that [I can] broadcast his glorious wonders throughout the world” (1 Peter 2:9 TPT).
Check out Joyce Meyer’s list of scriptural affirmations to remind you who you are in Christ for more truths you can tell yourself in front of the mirror.
2—Put Scripture verses in visible places
For any fellow visual learners, try placing a few Scripture verses that combat the lies you’ve too long listened to with truth in visible places. You may write a verse on a mirror with dry erase or on a notecard placed somewhere you frequent, or you might create or purchase art pieces for your wall or desk to display Scripture that speaks directly to you. The more often your eyes rest on these verses, the more quickly they will become hidden deep in your heart where they can do their transforming work.
3—Write out one verse by hand daily
Writing out a verse by hand causes you to slow a little and give the truth the space to find its way deeper into your heart. I’ve found a helpful daily practice is to write out at least one of the verses that deeply resonates from the passage of scripture I’ve read. Not only does it encourage me to actively engage with the truth, I can page through my journal at any point and read through verses that fill me with hope, remind me of who I am in Christ, and anchor my faith.
4—Memorize a few verses that describe your true identity
Putting scripture in visible places and writing out verses by hand will both help you begin to memorize scripture without much conscious effort. A little practice is all that you need to fully commit a few of the verses to memory so you can take them with you into every situation you might face.
5—Guard what you listen to
When we are in the trenches of the battle for our minds, it’s important that we are filling our mind with the things of God so these are the words that stick in our minds. Rather than limiting the amount of what you ingest that does not turn your heart towards God, focus on adding more time listening to and watching things that are life-giving, and you will find your desire for the other things begins to wane.
6—Spend time saying nothing, only listening
Prayer, like any other conversation, entails both listening and speaking. If you are anything like me, it’s easy to forget the listening part and jump straight to the talking. Yet if we show up just to share our requests and pull back without pausing, we miss the integral part of the conversation where God speaks to us. Even for just a minute of two at a time, invite God to speak His truth into your heart, and posture your heart and mind to lean into the listening.
7—Practice encouraging others
If teaching is one of the most effective ways of learning, perhaps the best way to encourage your own heart is to practice encouraging others. Look for ways you can remind others of Whose they are, and who that then means they are. You might find scripture you’ve memorized is just what someone else also needs to hear at a specific moment, and that it’s becoming easier to hear God speak as you make a habit of pausing to listen.
8—Create a rhythm of gratitude
Little changes my perspective as quickly as pausing to thank God for things that I otherwise take for granted. Noticing how even the small and mundane things are gifts that grace my day softens my heart to see how the greatest gift God gives is giving Himself to us, to me. Psalm 30:4 urges us to “give thanks to God every time [we] reflect on his holiness” (TPT). Reflecting on the goodness and nature of God, then thanking Him for who He is, will likewise show you more fully who you truly are.
9—End your day with self-reflection
Taking inventory of how you and God are doing at the end of day postures you to keep leaning into connection with God, and this is your best tool for combatting the mistruths about yourself that have been spoken over you. Here are a few questions you could use to guide your self-reflection:
- What words about myself have I been believing today?
- How do these words make me feel?
- What does God say about these words?
10—Forgive those whose words have hurt you
If this last tip feels nearly impossible right now, take comfort in this: forgiveness comes from God, so if you seek the strength to forgive, seek Him first. Forgiveness is an overflow of knowing how you are both dearly loved and generously forgiven. Forgiving those who words have hurt you is an essential component in your own healing. In His tender love for you, Jesus knows that holding onto unforgiveness will only grow the power of those words to hurt you.
A blessing as you heal
My hope and prayer is that these practices will help you begin to see—and believe—that God can shine brightly through you right where you are today. My intent is not for you to do them all, but to pick one or two of the practices and give them a try.
In closing, may I pray a blessing over you?
May you have eyes to see that Jesus’s eyes are on you. When He lives within you, His righteousness covers you—and that’s what He sees when He looks at you. Pure. Clean. Lovely. And Loved. You are all these things. Wanted. Redeemed. Spoken for. Filled with light. You are all things. Today may words of truth begin to heal your wounds so like a mirror, you can reflect God’s goodness, glory, and light in your home, neighborhood, and everywhere else you go. In the precious and holy name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
P.S. Did you know The Uncommon Normal is also a podcast? Tune in on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, or Spotify.
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