How to Navigate Interruptions When in the Middle of Something

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Mid-sentence I paused to brace for a kid landing too fast to not fly into me. They were jumping from cushion to cushion, my three plus one who’s nearly our fourth—because who says neighbors can’t be sisters? I set my laptop aside and asked for a hug from the one who’d nearly landed in my lap. And then it became part of their game: jump across the cushions and give mom a hug at the end.

Before you begin to think kids are always sweet here and I always welcome interruptions when I’m in the middle of something—let me assure you our life here is far from pretty. There are misunderstandings to mediate and anger to redirect, and sometimes in the middle of the mess it feels more than overwhelming.

But missional living is about leaning in, not living without Him.

It’s about humility, not self-imposed tranquility.

It’s about coming back again and again to Jesus when we find ourselves distracted because, as Misty Edwards sings in her album “Little Bird,” “[God] is as near as turned attention.” And it’s keeping an open invitation to those around us to join us as we welcome God’s deep work inside us.

We don’t get it right every time, and that’s OK. But we get back up and pursue again the One who pursues us—and let others see how we fall and yet keep pressing in, see how we come in humility to ask forgiveness for the ways we have not let Christ shine through our words or tone or hasty reaction.

3 tips for navigating interruptions when you’re in the middle of something

Interruptions are unavoidable, so rather than trying to avoid them, let’s talk through how to face them with intentionality and purpose. Let’s talk theory but make it practical and applicable, because our lives are lived in the real, not the hypothetical.

1—Identify the need underneath

Interruptions often involve people, and where they do, pausing to identify the need underneath can help you see the person in front of you rather than just the distraction. So often there is a question beneath the voiced question, and this is worth seeking out as it can shed light on the real need.

Learning to read between the lines for the people in our lives is a bit like learning another language: it can feel vague and inaccessible until you begin to dive in, begin to learn the nuances, begin to practice the conversations. But like anything we practice, the slow progress in the beginning leads you to greater understanding.

While there are many tools that are useful in helping us learn the languages of those we love, the two I have found most impactful are love languages and the Enneagram.

Five Love Languages

According to Gary Chapman, author of the well-known love languages books, the five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, and gifts. The basic premise of the books is that we don’t all receive love in the same way. If we only express love how we want to receive love, those we truly love may not feel well loved.

How does this play out when we are in the middle of something, then interrupted?

Let’s say my love language is acts of service. I feel most noticed, appreciated, and loved if someone takes the time to lighten my load and do something I typically would have handled. If I’m working on one thing, then interrupted with an ask for a show to be turned back on or another snack or another to-do to add to my list, I may feel overwhelmed and like what I am already doing for everyone else is not appreciated.

Yet the one with the ask may have a high need to simply cozy up in my lap. Or the true question may really be a cry for more quality time with me. And I might miss it if I can’t see beyond what my needs are.

Keeping in mind that the love language that matters most to me is not the most important one to many of those in my life helps me to see beyond the smallness of myself and into the true relational needs of those I love—especially when I’m interrupted.

Enneagram

The recently popularized Enneagram is likewise a powerful tool for helping us walk in each other’s shoes—and thus respond more Christ-like when we are interrupted. If you’re not familiar with the Enneagram, it is comprised of nine different numbers (or types), each of which sees the world through a different lens.

I appreciate the insight I’ve gained through learning about the motivations and nuances of each number. It has grown my compassion for and understanding of others, and helped me in so many ways to lean into the work of the Holy Spirit inside me and to love more truly the people around me.

The better I understand the varying ways others see the world, the more easily I can find grace and patience and perspective in the middle of interruptions. I see more quickly how there are needs that are often not directly expressed and that how I default is not how everyone else is apt to respond. Thus I am better equipped to listen well and love well and let God’s goodness flow freely through me.

* If you want to hear more on how the Enneagram can encourage community-building in neighborhoods, check out a piece I wrote for Relevant magazine entitled “Enneaneighboring: Forming Community in My Neighborhood out of Different Types of Normal.”

** I also wrote a missional encouragement note to each Enneagram number here. I intentionally left unspoken which number coincides with each encouragement because I wanted you to soak in whatever most resonates regardless of your Enneagram number (or if you even know which number you are!).

2—Remember the mission

As we pause to identity the true need beneath the interruptions, let’s also remember our mission. This helps us to look big picture and see how there is purpose in the small moments we are in the middle of living.

If our mission is to praise God in the presence of others, there will always be people we are letting in close to us, and this is both beautiful and messy. We can’t live into the purpose God created us for without embracing both Him and those He asks us to love well—and this means we are learning to love like Christ even when we are up to our elbows in something.

Interruptions can often present opportunities to connect relationally and let the things God is doing inside us ripple out beyond us. How we respond when we are interrupted says a whole lot about what matters most to us in that moment. And when we don’t respond as well as we wish we had, there is now opportunity to embrace humility and share how God is still at work inside us, though we don’t get it right all the time. This openness, too, is a vital component of missional living.

3—Let go of the non-essential

Often my to-list is merely a mental one, because though I like to write, I don’t like to write my lists down. And if I stop to sort it out on paper, I’d realize how little of it holds the weight I’ve given it. Perhaps you can relate.

Though I’m mere pages into Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, his message immediately captured my attention. According to McKeown,

Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done.

And I want to do more of that—more of the things that matter and less of what’s not really important to loving God and people well.

Keeping only the most important things as most important helps me see what I can hold with open hands. I am less rigid in my expectations and more genuinely present in my relationships when I let go of the non-essential things. And when I am in that space, I can better appreciate each person for their beautiful individuality and remember that each moment offers opportunity to love people well and point all the glory to God.

Identifying the need beneath, remembering the mission, and letting go of the non-essential are individually powerful tools to help us respond with love and grace when we are interrupted. When we combine them, however, we see more fully how every moment is a call to mission and every person we cross paths with is a person made in the very image of God.

Would you join me in a closing prayer?

Jesus, we want to love well—even when we are in the middle of something. Would You teach us Your ways and Your heart? Nestle us near You, where we can learn to think and love and speak as You do. In Your precious and holy name, Lord, we pray. Amen.

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