How to Get to the Life You Long to Live

I have a hunch that I am not alone in wishing it were possible to live a life rich with purpose and connection—one that involves getting to know my neighbors and living my faith in genuine, everyday ways. Collectively we are sick of feeling lonely, and sometimes even sick of being ourselves. The life we long to live may be a vague idea or drawn out with immense detail, but we still feel stuck. The life we want to live feels out of reach.

But maybe it doesn’t have to be.

Maybe there is a way to begin living that dream today.

Maybe, even if you’ve lived in your home for years and haven’t met many of your neighbors, you can still gently foster community and connection amongst your neighbors.

Perhaps there is an answer not only for the loneliness you feel but the way your neighbors also feel alone, distracted, and disconnected.

A confession

I didn’t used to know many of my neighbors. I felt something was missing and wished for the connectedness I had during my six years of living on-campus through school, but I resigned myself to looking further out for friends. I had mom’s group friends and church friends and small group friends and we-met-at-the-park friends, but my neighbors? I occasionally saw them outside but most I had never spoken too.

When I was first introduced to the concept of missional living—being a disciple-making-disciple of Jesus in my very normal, everyday life—it resonated deeply. I wanted to live open-heartedly, to be a true friend, to share my table and home with others. I began to dream of one day having a big enough house to host gatherings—of gathering with neighbors to share meals and life and spiritual encouragement—of actually being involved in day-to-day life with my neighbors.

But though the hope of these things stirred my heart, my feet didn’t follow. It simply felt too overwhelming. I am fairly introverted, and there was not even one extra chair around our table or room for a bigger table, and the pieces that needed to shift before we could buy a house of our own showed no signs of moving. My excuses kept coming.

The antidote

What holds you back from the life you long to live? What keeps your deepest dreams shelved and inactive?

If, like me, your excuses have drowned out your dreams, but you are sick of staying stuck, I want to share a secret I’ve discovered. It sounds simple—too simple—but it’s changed my life and I hope it can change yours as well.

The secret is to start with baby steps.

When I begin to move towards the life I long to live with first one small baby step, I find the next baby step doesn’t feel quite as daunting. When I make a habit of the baby steps, these small but intentional choices sink deeper into my spirit. I begin viewing those around me through different eyes, seeing each one as indescribably valuable. I begin listening for ways I can lean into relationships and embrace connection. I begin letting go of my fears and reservations as my heart slowly opens.

It doesn’t sound revolutionary to begin with the ordinary, often brushed-aside moments. But the choices I make in the commonplace moments create the life that I am actually living. And the same is true for you.

I’ve learned that listening to my fears shuts others out of my life. It leaves me stuck, lonely, and empty. But beginning to move towards missional living through baby steps frees me to love and connect and live with purpose.

If you want to join me on this journey of taking baby steps into neighborhood missional living, I’ve written a resource especially for you. It’s a 30-day devotional to gently help you open your heart, home, and life to your neighbors so the life you long to live can become your actual life. It’s called Cultivating a Missional Life, and it releases on Kindle this week. It’s available for pre-order now and will be delivered to your Kindle device when it releases on Friday, September 18.

The paperback version of Cultivating a Missional Life is coming soon as well, so stay tuned for that release date if you would prefer a book you can hold in your hands. The best way to stay in touch so you won’t miss the paperback release date is to join my email tribe. I hold it as a high honor when you give my emails space in your inbox, and I promise your email address is safe with me. You can expect a weekly email crafted just for my email friends that will give you a behind-the-scenes peek at what prompted the latest blog post + podcast episode. I also include a P.S. blurb to share an update, guest-post, something I’ve been reading or listening to, or further encouragement.

If we are not email friends yet, I’d love for you to join me here.

How the devotional will help you get to the life you long to live

Let’s take a closer look at how Cultivating a Missional Life can help you get to the life you long to live.

1. Baby steps are doable

Cultivating a Missional Life is all about baby steps because when we feel stuck, steps that are actually doable is the best way to gain forward momentum. Each devotion is short, further emphasizing the power of starting small.

2. Forming a habit takes time

Committing to this slow, gentle journey into missional living over the course of 30 days will shape your life through the habits that you begin to form. Each devotion builds on the one before it, and all are invitations to open your eyes and heart to God and those around you.

3. Transformation flows from the inside out

This is an underlying message of the devotional. When we try to earn good standing with our neighbors or our worth in God’s eyes through what we do, everything gets turned around. Cultivating a Missional Life will instead guide you to let God cultivate you on the inside and then let all you do overflow from what is within. Likewise, when we try to fix the problems in our society without digging into the heart-issues that underlie them, we are simply putting a band-aid on when heart-surgery is what is truly needed. Transformation begins deep down on the inside.

What’s inside the book?

• 30 short devotions that each end with a key thought to remember, a prayer, and a question to ponder.
• 5 book sections to show a roadmap of how the devotions build upon each other (Begin Within, Foundational Rhythms, Open My Eyes, Breaking Ground, and Momentum). Each section of the book ends with a Pause & Reflect Page. Included on these pages are a key concept, Scripture verses to consider, and an action step.
• Group study questions to foster community discussion of Cultivating a Missional Life
• The Uncommon Normal manifesto and instructions on where to download the free printable

What some friends have to say

Cultivating a Missional Life is the gentle guidance and heart work I needed to become a better neighbor. I can’t wait to return to this devotional often. 

Pamela H.

This is a grace-filled, thought-provoking devotional on missionary living that holds the readers hand while gently nudging them towards gospel sharing right where they are. Highly recommend it!

Mariel D.

Cultivating a Missional Life inspired me to love my neighbors by giving me bite-size principles to reflect on and then put into practice. Twyla managed to take a concept that feels intimidating to many and make it relatable, doable, and a source of joy.

Matt B.

At a time when hyper-localism seems to be our ‘new normal’ there’s arguably never been a better time to start learning to love our neighbors, just as Jesus taught us to. And Twyla’s book provides the roadmap for doing exactly that.

Reading this study has encouraged me to see those who live around me with new eyes and inspired me to dream big dreams for my neighborhood again.

Anna K.

How to order

Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors is a little book that will change your life in a big way.

Click the button below to pre-order (or order beginning Sept. 18) for just $3.99 on Amazon’s Kindle Store.

A final encouragement

The life that you long to live does not have to forever evade you.

You too can start with baby steps. You can begin pursuing your dream today by first letting God move your heart and then responding with your hands and feet and voice in small ways that are actually doable. Let’s make Psalms 25:4-5 our prayer:

Lord, direct me throughout my journey so I can experience your plans for my life. Reveal the life-paths that are pleasing to you. Escort me along the way; take me by the hand and teach me. For you are the God of my increasing salvation; I have wrapped my heart into yours!

Jesus, would you awaken the dream in our heart—the one that you have whispered to us over and over again? Would you guide our every baby step as we make our hearts soft and accessible to you? Would you show us how the everyday moments of our lives matter and how the small choices we make shape the people we will be tomorrow? Open our eyes to see that you love us and you are right here with us. In your holy and precious name, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

P.S. Did you know that The Uncommon Normal is also available as a podcast? Tune in to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or iHeartRadio to listen!