How to Find the Sweet Spot (Where the Circles Overlap)

My little guy is just the cutest when he’s dressed for t-ball. He’s four but taller than many five and six-year-olds, with the hugest brown eyes and biggest heart you’ve ever seen. And even though this season is extra full with t-ball and pre-school twice a week for him, soccer twice a week for my oldest, and dance twice a week for the middle one, I’m realizing that we’ve found a sweet spot. These extra activities cut into time we’d typically spend home and in our neighborhood, yet we get to do some of them with neighbors.

And this overlapping of circles means we don’t have to choose between two good things—sometimes both are possible. It just took me a while to see it.

I’d catch myself thinking that missional living in our neighborhood meant we were almost always home so we could be both visible and available. I’d feel guilty if we enjoyed too much elsewhere, away from home.

But either/or thinking can lead us to conclusions that are not always true. More often, life is lived in the space of both/and. The same is true of missional living.

Holding it all with open hands

Sometimes someone says a line and it sticks with you like glue. Such was the case when one of my sisters shared how she was learning, and teaching my niece, to hold something in open hands. The open-hand-hold is gentle. It’s holding something of value tenderly but without control. It’s yielding to the leading of the Spirit even when it seems to conflict with our preference. And it’s an open door to growth.

This concept of holding our preferences, decisions, and dreams with open hands fits right into missional living. Missional living is not about doing all the right things, but being right with God and being OK with others seeing how God is making our mess beautiful. It’s not holding too tight to anything but His hand.

Because He can use us to display His glory when we don’t make it all about us.

Others can learn vicariously through our experiences when we let Him be our teacher.

And there is sweet spot where the circles of our lives overlap.

Finding the sweet spot

Perhaps you can relate to my wrestle to maintain a slower pace of living and not say no to all the things. You want to be missional, but you want a lifestyle that is practical and sustainable. You want to live a life of freedom, not welcome guilt or more things you feel you have to do right.

And maybe today you need to know that you can be a missional neighbor even outside your neighborhood—that doing life with your neighbors doesn’t have to be limited to moments shared inside the neighborhood.

It can look like two girls spending more time together because they are carpooling to practice. Going to a preschool with friends from the neighborhood. Practicing your game with a neighbor, even if you’re on a different team. Passing on outgrown dance leotards and shoes to younger neighbors and cheering each other on at competitions.

See, there’s a way to do life together with neighbors that includes time spent both at home and away. And it takes holding the pieces of our lives in open hands so He can piece them together His way.

Overlapping the circles (IRL)

Let get real practical here. How do we overlap the circles in real life (IRL)?

Here are some ideas to get the gears churning.

P.S. This is not an exhaustive list, nor is it meant to be a to-do list. These are simply my raw ideas shared in hopes of helping you see more ways circles might find overlap in your own life.

1—Open up and ask for help.

It’s often much harder to ask for help than it is to give it, but be humble enough to do both. Could you trade-off dropping the littles off at preschool? Could one of your kids ride along with a neighbor to something they are both doing? You won’t know unless you ask! Be willing to return the favor or help out in other ways.

2—Treat your neighbors like friends.

Are you going to coffee with a couple friends? Invite a couple neighbors to join you! Are you planning a birthday party for one of your kids? Invite friends in the neighborhood along with friends from school and other activities. It’s OK to introduce your friends to each other and mix your friend circles!

3—Introduce your family to your neighbors.

Have family in for a visit? Introduce them to neighbors you bump into as you enjoy a walk through your neighborhood. Playing yard games in the front yard with visiting family? Invite neighbors to join in! Are you old enough to be an adopted grandparent to kids in your neighborhood? Invite your adopted grandkids to play with your grandkids when they come to visit.

Life is sweeter when our relationships are rich, and involving neighbors in the real-life stuff we are doing is a great way to deepen friendships.

Now it’s your turn

What is it you’re holding too tightly today, my friend? What is it that you want to happen in your time and in your way? What do you need to hold with open hands?

I invite you to pause for a few moments to reflect and listen. Then when you’re ready, here is a prayer you can pray:

Jesus, would You show me where the circles of my life can find overlap? I release my ideas of what my life, even my missional life, should look like. I choose to hold my time and my schedule in open hands. Help me to lean into Your way and embrace mission in each season. In the precious and holy name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Change your actual life in less than 5 minutes per day!

You can change your actual life in less than 5 minutes a day because baby steps truly can change the trajectory of your life. If you want 2021 to be the year you actually start living on mission in your neighborhood, this little book (available as a paperback and on Kindle) will help you get there. Each of the 30-day devotions takes but a few minutes to read, but they will lead to lasting life change.

If you’d like to check out Part 1 of the devotional FREE and also gain access to the rest of the missional living resources I’ve created for you in the new For You library, let me know here where to send the unlock code!