How to Find Gratitude When You Question God
Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the alter of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John. He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord.”
Luke 1: 11-15, NIV
My Answered Prayer
My head felt like it was splitting in two, and I could barely open my eyes. It was Sunday night, and two hours earlier, my husband had left to attend a men’s Bible study at church. I had told him it was okay to go, assuring him that my headache would disappear soon. Unfortunately, it did not.
When my husband returned and saw me, he immediately said, “We are going to the ER.” At twenty-six and a half weeks pregnant, this was my third pregnancy, but the other two had ended in miscarriage. I knew something was wrong but was reluctant to admit it.
Ultimately, I gave in and agreed to go. We walked into the emergency room, and by that point, I could not even hold my head up. I laid across three chairs while West filled out all the paperwork. I tried to convince him to leave, but he refused.
The nurse called me back, began asking questions, and quickly realized we were in serious trouble. I was suffering from preeclampsia, and my blood pressure was alarmingly high. Both the baby and I were in grave danger. They placed me in an ambulance and transported me an hour away to a larger hospital.
Upon arrival, my OBGYN, Dr. Patel, was on call. He took one look at me and said we had to deliver the baby immediately. At 1 a.m., John Grantham Martin, whom we named Grant, was born. He weighed just 1 pound and 12 ounces, and his cry sounded like a cat’s meow. His body was the size of a cell phone, and his footprint was about the size of a penny. But he was alive!
Later that day, I saw Grant for the first time. A pediatric nurse and doctor rolled him into my hospital room. I could not hold him because he was too small. I touched his tiny body through the window of the incubator. They told us Grant needed to be transferred to a larger hospital a few hours away that specializes in caring for preemies that small. We signed all the papers necessary for his transfer.
When our son left the room, I said a gut-wrenching prayer: “God, I surrender this situation to you. I know you saved our lives yesterday, and I know you will continue to save Grant’s life. Please strengthen his body and help him come home to us. Give West and me the strength to endure this long battle ahead of us. I believe that in the end, Grant will leave the hospital healthy and thriving. I trust you, Lord. Amen.” Three months later my husband and I left the NICU with a healthy baby boy.
Biblical Lesson for Those Who Question
Elizabeth and Zechariah were both righteous in the Lord’s sight. They followed God’s commands and lived holy lives yet remained childless.
I can only imagine the doubt and fear they must have felt. They prayed earnestly, but nothing happened. As they grew older, their hopes began to fade.
Then, in their old age, God showed up in a big way. The angel Gabriel appeared to Zechariah and delivered the good news: His wife Elizabeth would bear a son named John. Their son would prepare the people for the Savior. Zechariah, a priest and a man of God stood before the angel of God and still questioned the message. He even doubted it. Gabriel quickly reminded him of who sent him—God! It was God who sent His angel with this miraculous news.
How often do we find ourselves in the presence of God, with prayers answered, yet still question Him? Instead of gratitude, our hearts are full of fear and doubt. I know I have been guilty of this.
Before my son was born, I suffered two miscarriages. A month after my second miscarriage, I discovered I was pregnant with Grant. I was thirty-seven years old. Every day, I prayed for his health and mine. His early arrival was traumatic, but God never left our side. As I stood beside his incubator in the NICU, I sometimes forgot to praise God for his survival. Instead, I stood there, overwhelmed with doubt and fear. But then, God would send a reminder—through a nurse, a doctor, another NICU parent, or a fellow NICU baby—of how blessed we were. And I would snap out of it, stepping back into a heart of gratitude.
So, the next time you find yourself in a fearful situation and doubt begins to creep in, pause. Take a deep breath. Look around and start counting your blessings. As you see all the answered prayers surrounding you, remember: God did this for you. Then, trade your doubts for gratitude.
A Prayer For When We Question God
God, help me stay grateful today. When facing moments of fear and doubt, help me remember all the prayers you have answered. Amen.
Meet Ashley Martin
Ashley Martin is a history teacher who has transitioned into a Christian writer and speaker. She felt called to ministry at the age of eighteen, having known God from a young age. However, her struggle with alcoholism kept her from pursuing that call. For nearly twenty years, Ashley taught history while battling addiction. In 2013, she entered treatment, and that was when the barrier between her and God was finally broken down.
Since then, Ashley has been sharing her story and developing her ministry. She has been married to her husband, West, for the past nine years. Together, they have an eight-year-old son named Grant and a fourteen-year-old daughter named Cameron. They call Alabama home and enjoy traveling the world as a family.
In addition to her ministry work, Ashley continues to teach history to middle school, high school, and college students. She is also involved with an online women’s ministry called Called Creatives.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
