How to Find Abundant Gratitude as a Boy Mom
“So are you going to try for a girl?” I was used to this question by now, with three sons & one more on the way. But I never expected to hear it from my labor and delivery nurse, as she hooked me up to an IV, dilated at an eight, preparing to push out my fourth son.
“Uhhh you know, I don’t know,” I mumbled, hoping the questions would stop and we could focus on what I wanted more than anything in that moment, meeting my son . . . my fourth son.
How could I be thinking about anything else right now? I wondered. Was she a mom? could she fathom how much my heart ached to hold him?
Could she step outside her own idle curiosity for a moment and imagine the relief and joy of finally kissing my precious boy who I had carried during a world wide pandemic.
My fourth son was no less a miracle or gift from God than my first.
More Than “Just Another Boy”
Like so many mothers, I knew the brutal realities of saying good bye to a baby you never got to hold. I had said hello with elated gasp at two pink lines and whispered good-bye with arms holding belly, breathless, because I never knew their name, gender, or face.
The redemptive surprise of grief is gratitude. Gratitude for the gifts that seem boring or ordinary to the casual observer.
To the world it was “just another boy” but I anticipated his arrival with as much joy or even more than my older three boys. Because I knew the love of a boy to his mama is fierce and faithful. I have felt mighty little hands grab my face, leaving a thousand kisses and the occasional dirty smudge. Animated declarations of, “You are the prettiest mommy!” and watching mischievous eyes turn charming, as a dirty fist of picked wildflowers is bestowed, have been my greatest treasures.
Love from my boys . . . all four, has given me hope on dark days of postpartum depression, offered me grace in hard Mama moments, and restored my faith that there is a generation of boys raised to men coming that will love, honor and respect God and women using their strength to bring forth justice and restoration to a broken world.
An Army of Men
I sat at a restaurant, pregnant and hot. Eating burgers and sipping soda, while my boys played in the sandbox.
A man walked by, his head bobbed as he counted each boy and then looked at me. “Another boy?” “Yes,” I replied, cringing as I waited for the inevitable “couldn’t get a girl?” comment.
Would I laugh awkwardly to brush off the discomfort I felt? Or would I get sassy and say what I really felt which was: “Why can’t we speak gratitude over the beautiful portion God has given each mother? Why do we look for lack instead of abundance?”
He interrupted my satisfying mental soap box and drawled like only a Texan can, “Well, alright then, you’re raising an army!”
My defenses dropped and as he walked away, I cried.
Instead of criticizing, He spoke words of clarity and vision. I had been given an army.
I realized I needed vision to feel gratitude for the magnitude of abundance God had given me. As I worshipped and sought the Lord for His vision for raising four boys, this is what He showed me.
I am raising an army of men:
Who shoot arrows at injustice.
Who march with God’s heart.
Who storm gates of oppression.
Whose battle cry is for truth.
Who look for strong women to join their ranks because they know they fight better together.
No, I can’t buy mommy and me dresses and go for pedicure dates. My days are filled with refereeing nerf gun fights, dodging monster truck rallies, and apologizing to babysitters for my boys’ love language being wrestling.
Some days are exhausting, but it is the greatest honor of my life to be raising mighty little men of God!
Meet Charity Rios
Charity is the author of the kids’ books My Heart’s Garden and Jesus, the Light of the World. She loves to empower new writers to fulfill their dreams of writing and publishing kids books as a writing coach. Her current creative project is launching a podcast, Mama Bear Prayers, for mamas knee-deep in diapers and dishes who want to grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus. Most days you can find her top knottin’ it, totin’ potties, and rollin’ in the mini with her crew of four man cubs. The power of the gospel is her melody and unleashing women from captives into warriors is her passion.
Where to find her . . .
- Help Charity plan her first season of the “Mama Bear Prayers” Podcast and take this quick 30-second survey.
- Website
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
