How To Cultivate a Receptive, Growth-Friendly Heart

But some seeds fell into good soil . . . These seeds not only grew, but they also produced more seeds, a hundred times what the farmer originally planted.

– Luke 8:8, The Voice

Ask us on a good day and of course we want to be the growth-friendly, fertile soil in the parable of scattered seeds. We want to yield a hundred-fold harvest. We want to be bold and effective. 

There’s an alluring whisper of hope in Jesus’s story: supernatural multiplication, visible growth, undeniable fruit.

And we want to skip straight there with a school-girl spring in our step. Right to the good stuff–

Open doors.

Actual traction.

Resilient faith.

Flourishing relationships.

Maybe we get really specific, like a small group or neighborhood missional community multiplying, or a fledgling idea providing enough income to quit the day-job.

That would be the blessed life, we pine.

Because in the scramble to get to all the things, our day-to-day life drains more than enlivens us. We look down our street at the houses lining either side, with neighbors inside we don’t yet know by name, and feel defeated. 

We ourselves have been seed scatterers, threading hope through small talk here and there as we engage with our neighbors. But nothing much has changed.

The Speed of Growth

Perhaps, we wonder, the problem is that the soil in our hearts is cakey-dry or topped with gravel. We assume we’ve stunted growth by our lack of faith or ample distractions. Surely good seeds would grow quickly in good soil.

Let’s pause to consider how Jesus promises growth for ready soil, but puts no timeframe on it. In fact, He suggests the opposite: that the growth process is long. Note the phrase “patient dependability” at the end of verse 15:

But some people hear the message and let it take root deeply in receptive hearts made fertile by honesty and goodness. With patient dependability, they bear good fruit.

– Luke 8:15, The Voice

Fruit-growing requires consistency and vision to see beyond the here-and-now. It takes showing up when there’s little or nothing to show for it. 

Patience itself is slow-grown. We can’t microwave our trials and immediately pull out patience. Rather, we sit long with both the hard and our friend Jesus, and over time, our conversations take a different tone and our character assumes more attributes of His.

As I’m learning from Growing Slow, slow growth doesn’t mean no growth, and nothing stirring yet above the ground doesn’t mean that roots aren’t pushing deeper into our heart-soil.

What if we let go of the “metrics-based growth” Jennifer Dukes Lee cautions will “[hurry] our hearts,” and lean instead into the two heart cultivators Jesus offers?

Looking back at Luke 8:15, we see the receptivity of our hearts hinges on two factors: “honesty and goodness.”  Both are invitations to let God unearth the stones and till the parched places in our hearts. This uncomfortable yet necessary work gives God greater access–and the seeds He plants a growth-friendly environment.

The Tenderizing Work of Honesty

I’ll offer first that honesty is a struggle for me. Not because I don’t want to be truthful but because I so crave a peaceful environment that I’m tempted to go to great lengths to create it–denying at times that I do have preferences, attempting to always appear calm and in control, showing my best face. 

It’s uncomfortable to admit when I’m struggling, when I don’t have an answer, when I missed something or let someone down. Perfectionists get really good at curating. 

Years back, right around the time we started getting to know our literal neighbors, a word landed in my heart. I didn’t know what to do with it, so I asked God. Keep leaning in, He whispered. So I put the word, open, on a phone wallpaper so I would be continually reminded to embrace counter-intuitive openness.

That word changed my life, and I fully mean it. 

Slowly, I began discovering how authenticity tenderizes the heart. Answer the front door bare-faced when you’re not used to anyone seeing you without make-up, and you begin to see how many walls you’ve built in the name of playing it safe. Come to God with soul-baring honesty in the pages of Stuff I’d Only Tell God and you discover wholeness your closed-off self never knew. Open up just a bit more than feels comfortable during casual conversations in the neighborhood–about what God’s teaching you or asking you to let go in the midst of parenting struggles, dance decisions, ongoing health concerns, praying for miracles–and your stuffy “Christianese” takes a backseat and humility your hand.

An Unexpected Amplifier

If honesty softens the callous places in our hearts, goodness amplifies the tenderizing process. 

We’re not talking about goodness that exalts us in the eyes of others, but goodness that bends to listen and sees the people in front of us. It’s a getting-lower, not higher, kind of goodness. An others-focused bent that seeks to serve and generously loves.

Shift your focus off yourself to people around you God dearly loves, and compassion and empathy begin to sprout. Seek to make the people in front of you feel valued, and the offenses you’ve harbored loosen their grip. Sow kindness in unexpected places–and expect no noticing, no naming, no reciprocating–and your own heart grows giddy-glad.

Goodness is listed in Galatians 5:22-23 as one of the fruits of the Spirit. This is a quality not produced through human effort, but rather, what overflows from reliance on the Holy Spirit. A heart of genuine goodness forms in intimate conversations with God and honest surrender to His gentle work inside us.

Best Recipe for a Growth-Friendly Heart

The more honest we get with God, the more available we become. With open-door access, God is free to tend the soil in our hearts. In the same vein, the more we lean on the Holy Spirit and let the work God is doing inside us move us to practical action and generous love, the more our tender hearts fall in sync with God’s.

This, friends, is the best recipe for a growth-friendly heart that nourishes the seeds God plants.

Let’s pray.

God, we confess our hearts are often closed off and callous. We want the growth but we’re not always ready to lend our honesty or step out of the way. Help us embrace transparency before You and adopt the goodness that sprouts from Your heart. Give us patience for the slow, good work that bears fruit in due time.

Just a friend over here in your corner,

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