How to Break the Chains of Grief with Gratitude
I will always remember the first condolence card I received from a friend on the funeral day of my husband. It showed a golden path surrounded by majestic trees. The card said, “Today’s pain will turn into gratitude for all the precious memories you had together.”
What? No, at that moment, this message didn’t resonate with me. It was unfathomable to think that this excruciating pain could one day turn into gratitude. In the powerful mix of immense sorrow, anguish, anger, sadness, and grief, there was no place for gratitude. There were questions, there were tears, and sobs, but no gratitude. I was in a deep shock, dying from the inside; my heart smashed into a thousand pieces.
In the Chains of Grief and Despair
This condition continued and even worsened in the months that followed. Perhaps half a year later, I was at my lowest. I felt detached from life, as if I was observing myself from the outside.
Yes, life continued, people were living their normal lives, as if nothing happened, but my world, as I knew it, was no longer. Life had stopped for me. I stayed paralyzed at the point between before and after, not able to move forward.
I didn’t see any meaning and purpose in the unexpected and premature death of my closest person, and I couldn’t see a future for me. The unwanted widowhood and multiple painful transitions left me disillusioned in my faith, questioning God’s goodness and justice, and chained in the prison of grief.
How Gratitude Helped Break the Chains
One day, I followed the advice I found in the book about grief I was reading and started a simple gratitude practice. Every morning, I started writing in my journal at least three things I was grateful for. Believe me, in the beginning, it was difficult to find even three things I was thankful for! But with the time, the list increased. My eyes were opening and beginning to see in the darkness.
I began to acknowledge God’s presence and care in multiple details of everyday life and see the beauty of everyday moments: the hug of a child, a walk, the smell and colors of a flower, the breathtaking sunset, the sweet time with a friend or a family member, the taste of a meal cooked by my mum, the possibility to sleep and rest, the words of comfort and encouragement I received.
A Path Toward Acceptance, Healing and Freedom
Something shifted in me and, for the first time, I was able to experience joy. Like golden strands, pockets of joy pierced the dark fabric of my life, illuminating my path and infusing me with hope. Suddenly, I was no longer in a stupor; I could move my hands and feet, and my heart breathed again.
More time passed by, and the memories of my happy life that disappeared were no longer just sources of pain that filled my eyes with tears. Although I couldn’t understand how, they transformed into sources of gratitude, mixed with humble joy, too.
It amazed me how God employed this simple gratitude practice to guide me toward acceptance, healing, and freedom. Gratitude cut the chains of grief and set me free to live and hope again.
Our Pain Can Become a Birthplace of Blessings
I am thankful for every single moment now, learning to accept the good and the bad and to surrender the pieces into God’s loving and capable hands. Only He is able to mix all ingredients and bring good out of them: for us, for others, and for His glory (Romans 8:28).
Only God is able and willing to transform our pain into a birthplace of purpose and blessings when we draw near to Him. You can read more on this topic in my new book, Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of Blessings.
He loves us eternally and unconditionally. Every day is full of God’s mercy and the life that He gives to those who seek Him. This life is the substance and the quality that makes us truly alive and truly happy.
Meet Hadassah Treu
Winner of the Encouraging Blogger Award of 2020, Hadassah Treu is an international Christian author, blogger, poet, speaker and contributor to several faith based platforms like Koinonia and Devotable, and a dozen award-winning devotionals and poetry anthologies. She is passionate about encouraging people to draw near to God in the dark valleys of life.
Hadassah is a COMPEL Provers 31 Blog writer and Freelancing Community Group leader. Her writing is featured on (In)Courage, The Upper Room, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Her View From Home, Living by Design Ministries, Thoughts About God, Today’s Christian Living and other popular sites.
Hadassah is the author of Draw Near: How Painful Experiences Become the Birthplace of
Blessings (available on Amazon). Connect with Hadassah at her website, onthewaybg.com.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
