How To Accept Kindness When You’d Rather Give It
Each summer we embark on an annual Kindness Quest, where we make our vacation full of kindness. I thought I had hit the jackpot of cool ways to practice missional living, but it turned out God had another lesson he also wanted me to learn.
Deep in the forests of Northern California, a miniscule town is nestled at the base of a dormant volcano. The town of Mt. Shasta lives on in our memory like a bad dream–with a providential twist. As I didn’t partake in the only coffee available in the area, brewed with mushrooms, I can assure you the miracles God blessed us with were not hallucinated! This was the town where kindness humbled me and taught me how to receive with gratitude.
When we moved across the country in 2015, I drove the kids from the East Coast back to the West. I was surprised to discover how much I loved taking road trips with my little ones and started doing them more frequently. Despite the joy we found together, I was usually in survival mode and more protective when traveling with my kids. A few years later, I felt God’s Spirit whisper, “Next year I’m going to help you become more aware of the people around you as you travel–these trips aren’t just about you.” I felt curious, tucked the voice away, and moved on.
The following year a young woman I was mentoring, Meg, moved in with my family. I don’t even remember exactly how the idea took root, but while I was busy trip-planning, Meg prepared for us to go all-in on a quest of acts of kindness, using foam swords to “knight” the kids with names like “Avi the Affectionate” and “Josiah the Just.”
Looking like hippies, we pulled on our tie-dyed shirts, scrawled #KindnessQuest all over Rhonda the Honda (my minivan), and set forth on a journey from Tijuana to Vancouver, and back again for our first Kindness Quest. It was only later, after we were home, safely tucked into our own beds, that I remembered that God had plans to teach us to become aware of the people around us we adventured.
Unless you count a shady motel on the outskirts of San Fran, the rest of that first Kindness Quest had gone without a hitch. We’d driven through a massive redwood, collected jars of smooth, colored glass on Sea Glass Beach, and bought books from Powell’s. We even took a boat ride near Puget Sound and found multiple totem poles after touring an old Canadian settler fort, learning how to tan pelts.
Each day we practiced an intentional act of kindness. These included an assortment of challenges, such as gifting tourists with donuts at the wharf and making sandwiches for the homeless population. Among other things, we also had a long, deep conversation with a lonely old lady at a lighthouse, passed out gatorade to hikers on a climb, and beautified a trolley stop.
A Lifeline Call
Yet the cupcakes and sprinkling the joy of kindness didn’t last forever. We were on the long leg back of our journey, leaving the lava tubes, when Rhonda the Honda started acting up. Thrust on a two-hour detour due to a wildfire, I realized my battery was losing its charge as I traversed a massive stretch of uninhabited forest that had no phone signal or GPS.
Trying not to imagine my family waiting on the side of a dirt road as I hiked a day to the nearest neighbor, I anxiously prayed through the hours until I got in sight of Interstate Five, only to be dismayed when the fire pushed us North instead of our destination, South.
But the phone started working and my lifeline call was to my husband. He told me to get off the freeway immediately. And as I did, my van stopped working entirely, rolling into the parking lot where there was an auto store. It turns out it was by the grace of God I had to take the North lane–it was at the only exit to civilization for over fifty miles!
Receiving Kindness With Gratitude
Guess what happens when a woman stands next to a vehicle in a parking lot with the hood open? I had no less than a dozen men try to rescue me! Unfortunately though, their mechanical knowledge was lacking. But between these men, my battery was replaced, and then the alternator belt. But I was still stuck. Rhonda’s alternator itself was the problem.
It was the weekend, and all the local auto mechanics were either closed or booked for days. It also seemed like it might take a few days for the exact model of alternator I needed to arrive. I was told I might not be able to leave Mt. Shasta for up to a week! Defeated, we grabbed our backpacks and pillows, trudging up the main street to one of the small local motels. My anxiety was through the roof. But I slowly began to surrender to God through the evening, trusting he would get us through this.
In the morning, I embarked on a mission believing God was with me. I was grateful for the adult presence of Meg to watch the kids at the motel. Still determined to stick with our quest, I left them with instructions to “do something kind” for the motel owner. Surely we could make this new-age town a little better while there.
I walked to a different auto store owned by a grandfatherly man. He took me under his wing, making sure my family was taken care of. He towed my van to his shop so I wouldn’t get in trouble for leaving it in the parking lot. He drove me around to take care of errands, so I could get food for my family.
It turned out he had the exact model number of the alternator I needed, dusty on the back of his shelf (something he himself was even surprised by)! He advocated for me, calling in favors from out-of-towners until he found a traveling mechanic who would take his Sunday afternoon to fix my van immediately on the backlot without overcharging.
Meanwhile, at the motel, the owner indefinitely delayed our check-out time, while bestowing my kids with otter-pops and cold ice-water to drink and play with on the sweltering day. It happened to be the weekly farmers market, giving my family something to do. All our needs (but good coffee) were taken care of. Even the hotel we were supposed to stay at fudged their no-refunds policy, and moved my reservation from the day before so we didn’t lose it. Marveling at what could only be miracles, at six p.m. we drove Southbound, out of little Mt. Shasta!
Meet Elisa Johnston
Elisa Johnston coaches everyday change-makers to do good without burning out at Average Advocate, procrastinates on Instagram here and here, and practices authenticity about tough subjects like illness, trauma and discipleship at Authentically Elisa. Whenever and wherever she can, she explores with her four littles and adopted housemate. Thankfully, God, her husband, and other favorite introverts are all particularly grounding, because otherwise her passion to raise-up leaders, live missionally, and start world-changing things would compel her into a creative oblivion.
Where to find her . . .
- Website
- Substack
- Instagram: Average Advocate and Authentically Elisa
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.