How I Became a “Boy Mom” and Found Gratitude in New Circumstances
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
Psalms 127:3-5 NIV
Have you seen that commercial where the couple drives up, jumps out of the car, and hands their baby to the grandparents? They jump back in the car, speed off, and the grandmother wails, “Don’t leave me with the baby.”
The commercial cracks me up, but it also describes how I felt as my three daughters left for college within two years. “Don’t leave me with the boys,” was my heart’s cry. I realize I am very blessed to be a mom to five children. If you include the ones I will meet in heaven, I’m really Mom to ten beautiful, unique souls. The three girls are my eldest, and stole my heart from the very beginning. The two brothers followed and are just as special.
But let me tell you, when college move-in day rolled around for the first one, we were so excited. Packed her all up and moved her to Athens to become a Bulldog. As much as we missed her, with four kids still living at home, our lives weren’t drastically different.
Fast forward two years when not one, but my two other daughters both went to UGA. My life took a sharp turn. No one left to care about the quality of dinner—just the quantity. No one to stop in TJ Maxx or Home Goods with me for a quick browse. Not nearly as much chatter and chit-chat. Just me, my husband, and two teenage sons.
Adjusting to being a “boy mom”
Amazingly enough, I have survived now for three years as a “boy mom.” I know some of you have been boy moms from the beginning and wouldn’t have it any other way. For me, it has been a big adjustment. “For such a time as this,” we know God prepared Esther for her vital role. I believe God prepared me too, I just didn’t realize it at the time.
I was so caught up in being a mom to five kids, I didn’t slow down and savor my two sons enough. The season of a “full quiver” ended abruptly, and I had to grieve. But God has given me gratitude not only for that season of abundance, but also for the one I am in now.
The last few years have brought one on one time with my boys, a chance for my husband to disciple them, a focus on their activities and achievements, and our whole family celebrating being together when we can. I have realized how grateful I am for the time we are all in the same place. But I have also grown into being grateful for having less chaos and a chance to enjoy the boy time that now fills my home.
One of my sons and I were able to volunteer for a week at Blue Skies, a ministry that takes families with a child with cancer on weeklong beach retreats. Without the business of all five kids at home, I have enjoyed teaching my boys how to cook and grill. We have taken our sons and their friends on weekends at the lake to just hang out.
The rewards of off-the-beaten-path parenting
I have always been more laid back than some other moms. Sometimes I feel like I lean too much in that direction, especially on kid number five. It is my hope that our neighbors see this not as lackadaisical, but rather our faith shining through. When we started homeschooling over twenty years ago, many of our neighbors thought we were crazy. To now have three kids with full scholarships to college (one who just graduated) and another with a trade school scholarship, perhaps we aren’t so crazy.
We have always tried to trust the Lord and the process. Now we are seeing the fruit. As our girls come home and work in our neighborhood hosting camps, babysitting, and helping moms organize, others can see that our off-the-beaten-path choices have brought positive results.
I almost cried when a mom friend told me that when my boys came to help her move some furniture she was so impressed with their thoughtfulness, manners, and their kindness toward one another. Thinking about how they often are at home, I was surprised, but her compliment warmed my heart. Maybe I am a boy mom after all.
Meet Ella Herlihy
Ella’s passion is to save other parents frustration and stress by helping them learn practical ways to step back so their kids step forward on the path to adulthood. She loves guiding loving parents with simple tips and checklists to make sure their children are ready for their next phase in life. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram @UnEntitledParents or www.unentitled.co.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
