How to Choose Gratitude in the Thin Places
Even though friends had prepared me, it was still a shock when I walked in and saw Ingrid for the first time in four years, reclined in a chair, her spine and neck quite visibly curved, her body so thin. But when she smiled, she was still the same Ingrid. And when she said, with some struggle, but quite dryly, “Rumors of my imminent demise are grossly overstated,” I burst out laughing, and knew that Ingrid was there, her wits still completely about her.
Ingrid was an inimitable force in my life. I met her at small group during my junior year of college, and she was old enough to be my mother. I was attracted to her humor and her welcoming spirit, the grace and compassion with which she spoke the truth. She was a spiritual mother to many, and my friendship with her birthed new courage, compassion, and wisdom in me.
No where else I’d rather be
When Ingrid went into hospice two weeks after that visit, she lived for one month–the last month of her life–closer than she’d ever been to me. I could walk to see her in two minutes flat. That first week, I visited her almost every day.
The best conversation I had with Ingrid in that final month was when I told her I’d enrolled in a writing class, and I pitched her my idea for a novel. I really wanted her to know, because she was the one who told me, years ago, “You have a book in you.”
She was so engaged as she listened intently and asked questions, and when I was done explaining it to her, she said, “I was having so much fun just now, I almost forgot about dying.”
She had a way of making me laugh, then cry, in remarkable proximity.
Another time, when I was helping her eat, Ingrid said, “I know you’re not, but I’m having so. much. fun.” I told her honestly, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Holy ground
My friendship with Ingrid changed me; she helped to shape me into a different, healthier version of myself. She thrilled me with stories of how God had moved in her life. With prophetic words and prayers, she could cut through all the extraneous and strike straight through to my heart. When we spent time together, drinking tea and eating fresh homemade bread spread with butter, there was always a sense that we were on holy ground.
There have been many times since Ingrid passed from this life that I have wished that she were still here. I have needed to ask her questions and glean from her wisdom. When I think about Ingrid, I feel sad, because I miss her.
Grateful for the thin place
But when I think about Ingrid’s final days? I am humbled and grateful. My heart is full because I got to be with my friend in a time and place where it mattered deeply. I am thankful for the privilege of standing so close with her in that thin place, as the Irish Celtics called it–a place where one can almost see the wispy veil that separates this earthly dwelling from our heavenly one.
Meet Katie Pozzuoli
Katie Pozzuoli is a writer who has spent most of her adult life figuring out–through a lot of trial and error–the practices that help her to thrive as a wife and mom of three. Online, she writes about how to build sustainable self-care habits, and she elevates women who are doing just that.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
My vision for this gratitude series is to help others embrace a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only their own life, but the lives of their neighbors as well.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
Creating Ripples
If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
