One of my biggest childhood dreams was to be an emergency nurse. Maybe it started with a fascination with the helicopters on MASH reruns. It could have been all of the drama on the ER. I’m not sure. I do know that I wanted in on the action and to do something special with my life.

The reality of being an emergency nurse

Although the dream came true, it lost it luster and I have tried unsuccessfully to find a way out. It is a career with a high turnover rate to begin with, then add in a pandemic. The emergency department has always been the catch-all in a broken system. Now the system is even more broken and I don’t have any answers. I do know that the gratitude I have for the nursing care I received while having a baby earlier in the year has been a support to me since I’ve been back to work.

It was two days before my scheduled induction and my baby failed a non stress test in the clinic. Instead of having the afternoon to finish up the prenatal to-do list, we checked into the hospital to be induced that day. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling anxious or stressed. I was told it was urgent, but not an emergency, and I trust my doctor. Plus, I had already delivered three babies and felt like knew what to expect.

A sweet friend of mine is a labor and delivery nurse and she was working that day. She stopped in to visit once my husband and I were settled into the room. She said that she was working the next day and would stop in again. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I would be introducing her to my son when she walked into work the next morning.

An escalating emergency

That evening, I was given medication for the induction and had started to feel uncomfortable from contractions. Out of nowhere, the monitor started alarming and my nurse came rushing in. She had me roll over onto my side while she adjusted the monitor. Then she told me roll onto my other side. Finally she had me flip over and get on hands and knees while she called for the doctor. She was sweating and I could see the concern in her eyes. My baby’s heart rate had dropped and she was helping me find a position that would relieve some of his stress.

This continued all night long. His heart rate would drop and we would have to get me into a different position. This was no easy task with an epidural but my nurse was right there to hoist me around. My son needed to be born because he was in distress, but every intervention was causing distress. We were stuck.

Night turned into day. My friend returned to work and I still had not had my baby. It can be extra stressful taking care of a friend, especially in a less than ideal situation, so I told her that I wouldn’t have hurt feelings if she chose not to be my nurse. Thankfully she did still want to be my nurse because soon after this conversation we were preparing for a c-section and I was scared. I trust her and know she is an excellent nurse. It was also reassuring to have a familiar face with us in the operating room.  It felt less stark and cold than it would have been otherwise.

Day finally broke

Finally that morning my baby was born healthy. He’d had the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around his neck three times. Without the c-section, he would have remained stuck. When the contractions would squeeze him down, the cord would tighten, causing his heart rate to drop. The next challenge was picking out a name, but that’s a different story by itself!

First of all, I am so thankful that this situation had a happy outcome and I was able to take home a healthy baby. Absolutely thankful. I am also beyond thankful for the nursing care we received. My night shift nurse was incredible. She was right beside me the whole time with an appropriate level of concern. She physically worked so hard—rolling me around all night and starting/stopping multiple different interventions many times. My nurse friend chose to be present with me in a scary situation. She provided the emotional support I needed as well great nursing care. Both of these nurses were right beside me fighting for me and my baby. They were all in.

Giving what I was given

Mark 12:30-31 NIV says, “‘And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally as important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” I received this gift of compassionate nursing care and can continue to give it. It’s so powerful.

This might not be the job I want for myself anymore, but it’s where God still has me. The broken system is out of my control, but I can control how I respond to it. I don’t want to take for granted the position my career puts me in to connect with people when they need it the most. This applies on a more universal also. It’s ok to be upset with the state of the world right now, but it’s not ok to lose the softness in our hearts for humanity.

Meet Jessica Haberman

Where to find her . . .

• Website
• Instagram

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

Creating Ripples

If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.