How to Be Grateful for “Big” Moments That Seem Horrible
Everyone has those days in their lives where something happens that reshapes them as a person. Things like getting married, having a baby, losing a loved one, and being diagnosed with an illness. Some of those days are easy to be grateful for, and others we struggle for that drop of thanks.
October 19, 2015 was one of those days for me.
Grief with Gratitude
I knew October 19, 2015 was going to be a tough day. It was my dad’s birthday and that summer I lost my dad after a 14-year battle with Pick’s disease (an early onset dementia). It had been a long slow process of grieving as I watched him slip away.
My dad was an amazing man. He was a man who lived his faith. He was strong, intelligent, and talented. He was a man of integrity with a giving heart. The world needs more men like my dad.
The most important thing to me, though, was that he was my dad and he loved me unconditionally. I could talk to him about almost anything and get support and wisdom mixed with love and humor. And he had a great sense of humor.
There was a blessing to be grateful for, even as I was losing him. Even before we received the diagnosis of Pick’s disease, I knew something was wrong. How is that a blessing? Because it showed how very close my dad and I were.
My dad’s death ripped a hole in me that I did not expect. To this day, eight years later, that hole is still there. I know my dad would not want me to mourn over him. I am not mourning. I am grateful that my father is in Heaven and restored to the man God designed him to be. I just miss him, that’s all.
Illness with Gratitude
Anyway, back to October 19, 2015. Like I said, it was my dad’s birthday. The grief was fresh and that day was hitting me hard. Then I got the phone call that turned my entire world upside down–several times over.
The previous week I had undergone a needle biopsy of my left breast. I was pretty certain I had nothing to worry about, after all there was no history of cancer in my family. I quickly found out that didn’t matter.
We had just walked in the door when the phone rang. I answered it and the person on the other end informed me that I needed to make an appointment with the oncology surgeon I was seeing immediately. I had breast cancer. I remember sinking into a chair, too shocked to really register what I was being told. I know I made the appointment and I am certain I cried.
I underwent a left breast lumpectomy on December 1, 2015 and in the beginning of 2016, I began radiation treatment. Radiation was five days a week for six weeks, a very long six weeks. Between the surgery and the radiation, I developed some significant scars, physical and emotional. Still, I found gratitude. They had discovered my cancer early (thanks to a mammogram) and I didn’t have to undergo chemotherapy.
Additionally, during all of this, I am thankful that God kept me strong and healthy enough to continue to deal with my everyday life. I continued to drive my girls (one with autism) where they needed to go, and to homeschool my older daughter.
Daily Life with Gratitude
There are so many other “big” moments in my life that have seemed horrible, but have taught me gratitude. Additionally, I have learned there is so much gratitude to be had in our everyday lives. I don’t like folding laundry, but if I get grumpy about it, I remind myself to be grateful I have clothes to fold. Making the bed? Gratitude that I have a bed. Cleaning the house? Gratitude that I have a house to clean. Exercising? Gratitude that I can exercise.
It is easy to find gratitude in the good times, but it is in the tough times, big and small, that we can truly learn to find gratitude.
Meet Elizabeth Harlan
Elizabeth Ann Harlan is the author of a children’s picture book called Matt, Sam, and the Swimming Unicorn, which was published in November of 2022. She is currently working on her second book. She is a married mother of two daughters, ages 21 and 19. Her older daughter has moved out on her own, but her younger daughter (who has autism) remains at home. She and her husband just celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary.
In her spare time, Elizabeth enjoys collecting hobbies including Legos, crochet, tatting, cross stitch, diamond art, drawing, reading, logic puzzles, coloring, and photography. She also enjoys spending time studying her Bible.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.
