Grateful for Autism? My Romans 8:28 Parenting Journey
“God can stun you in hindsight when you discover the careful orchestration of events in your life,” Pricilla Shirer once said. Yep, that truth really hits home, especially in the month motherhood is celebrated. I am astounded at how God really does “work all things for good for those who love God and are called to His purposes,” as He promises in Romans 8:28.
Some people misinterpret this Romans verse. They might believe God will only bestow good things on those He loves in the first place. However, the good things of God don’t always mirror the good things we imagine ourselves experiencing. Good really can come out of challenging circumstances. I’m grateful for the good that’s come out of my autism journey even if I’m not exactly celebrating the disorder. I’ve learned God isn’t often in the business of blowing up mountains like autism. He’s more of a way maker and a sea splitter.
That’s what He did for me in August of 2017. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.
Enabled to Love
When I first learned of my youngest son Max’s autism diagnosis at his 18-month mark, I was standing on a grassy knoll on a blustery autumn day. I was in a high place but not in a most high place, if you know what I mean. I was AFRAID. And as I stood there alone with my son, the Enemy sought to darken my heart.
In that moment, He placed a horrifying thought in my head: let go of Max’s trusting little hand. The notion that he might run away and I would somehow be free of him crept into my unsuspecting mind. But because God promised in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that he would “provide a way so that” temptation could be endured, I resisted that terrifying impulse.
As Max grew in age, many of his needs stayed the same. I remember once we were at the beach, Max’s happy place, and he was about eight years old. I was drying him off, and not in a “do everything as to the Lord” (Colossians 3:23) kind of way. I thought to myself, Why do I still have to dry off my eight year-old son? And suddenly the Holy Spirit came upon me and filled me with a deep and powerful infusion of love for Max. It fully enveloped me. God has been so good to give me what I need in such moments.
My years of raising Max were full of wonderful memories like this, as well as a good deal of physical and emotional pain. At times, I bore the brunt of his frustration and anger literally. It’s hard to witness someone trapped by autism. Even then, God enabled me to love Max through it all.
A Release and a Peace
In the summer of 2017, the Lord made it clear to me, though, that He would deliver me from that day-to-day aspect of the trial. Max’s outburst resulted in 911 calls and a frightening trip to the ER. Again, God provided a way for me to “bear up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13) and it truly is a miracle that I was not seriously wounded during the first violent episode, or again at the ER when, even under heavy sedation, he tried to come after me again.
In the moments that followed that terrible ordeal, I heard from the Lord in my pleas and cries out to Him in our driveway that my time of deliverance had arrived. God clearly told me that I had learned all that I was to learn from the day-to-day caregiving. It was time to enter a new phase of my life: helping others overcome.
During the days that followed, a peace and a resolve came over me so surprisingly reassuring that it could only come from God. He revealed to me that it was time for Max to live elsewhere. Fortunately, my husband was in full agreement so we made a game plan.
Miraculously, we bought, furnished, and moved Max into a home of his own in a mere 14 days. It remains completely staffed with rotating caregivers prayed for before they ever set foot in that dwelling. “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, but to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). It was as true for Max as it was for me.
And Max loves his little home on Altura, which means “high place.” When I learned that, my heart jumped for joy. I found this amazingly appropriate verse at the time:
For behold, He who forms mountains and creates the wind and declares to man what are his thoughts, he who makes dawn into darkness and treads on the high places of the Earth, the Lord of hosts is his name.
– Amos 4:13 NASB
I often picture Jesus literally treading on Altura street alongside Max and his devoted caregivers. Exodus 3:12 encompasses my journey perfectly:
And God said, “But I will be with you and this shall be the sign for you. That I have sent you–when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.
– ESV
The Fuel of Gratitude
Since then, I’ve written three devotional books designed to help others overcome their divine detours. And I’ve blogged and started two podcasts. But that wasn’t the end of how God used the fuel of that gratitude to bless us and His people. In the fall of 2024, my husband and I started a nonprofit social club for adults with special needs.
Called Connection Club, the club hosts biweekly gatherings with arcade games, Bingo, karaoke, craft tie, and dinner. Members receive love and acceptance from staff and each other as they enjoy recreational activities in a supportive environment. We are so grateful God has given us the resources to operate this special club!
Gratitude helped transform all these dreams into realities. Being able to be used by God fills my own heart with deep gratitude, knowing my pain has purpose and will not be wasted. It’s been said that every mountaintop is within reach if you just keep climbing, and that the best view comes after the hardest climb. I can say with certainty the hard climb was worth it. My view is stupendous and is without a doubt more glorious and satisfying than I could ever have imagined.
Meet Cindy LaFavre Yorks
Cindy LaFavre Yorks is an author, speaker, and the host of a podcast entitled Your Emotional Rescue. Journey along with Cindy as she shares her struggles with disappointment, rejection, fear, temptation, and even despair, with authenticity and a dash of humor. Through deeply personal storytelling, Cindy unlocks key ideas about how to handle side door detours. By applying God’s truths, she creates a daily “travel log” that inspires readers to confront their own twists and turns in the road with courage and confidence.
Find her written and audio content at her website, CindyYorks.com.
Where to find her . . .
Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.
If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.
