Have you ever walked through a season where it feels like life just keeps hitting one thing after another and you’re left bracing for whatever’s next?

For the past two years, that’s how it’s felt for me. As if I’m constantly waiting for the next phone call, the next unexpected text message, the police officer knocking at our door (no joke!), each one bringing with it another situation, another layer of pain or responsibility to carry.

At times, it’s been hard to exhale, to sleep deeply, or even to think clearly. The emotional wear and tear of always being on alert has left me stressed and burned. One trial seems to bleed into the next, and I’ve felt burned out, body, heart, and spirit all running on fumes.

Quiet, Honest, Tear-Stained Gratitude

And yet . . . I’ve discovered something surprising in that space: gratitude is still possible, not because my circumstances are easy, but because God is still present.

It’s not the loud, put-a-bow-on-it kind of gratitude. Not the kind that tries to tie a Bible verse on a bleeding wound. It’s quiet. Honest. Sometimes tear-stained. But it’s real. And it’s becoming the foundation of how I’m learning to walk through burnout, grief, and uncertainty with grace instead of bitterness.

An Alabaster Offering

In the Bible, Mary of Bethany embodies this kind of gratitude. In John 12:1–8, she walks into a room where Jesus is reclining at the table and offers Him something costly, an alabaster jar of perfume. Without words, she breaks it open and pours it onto His feet, wiping them with her hair. The house is filled with the fragrance of her worship.

What strikes me is this: Her act of worship was rooted in deep gratitude.

Mary had experienced both heartbreak and healing. Not long before, she had mourned the death of her brother Lazarus, fallen at Jesus’ feet in grief, and watched Him raise Lazarus from the grave. Her soul had tasted sorrow and witnessed glory. Her gratitude wasn’t shallow; it was forged through pain, faith, and a personal encounter with Jesus.

She didn’t come to Jesus with answers. She didn’t pretend everything was okay. She came with a full heart. Full of thankfulness for who Jesus was to her, even if she didn’t understand everything He allowed.

That kind of gratitude challenges me.

She gave what she had. She gave from her heart. And Jesus called it beautiful.

A Choice to Remember

Gratitude doesn’t wait for life to be perfect. It begins in the heart when we choose to remember what God has already done. For me, that’s looked like noticing the small mercies: strength to get out of bed, a kind word from a friend, a quiet bike ride around the lake, or how God gently meets me when I have no words left to pray.

Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard stuff, but it helps me stay grounded. It anchors me in grace.

Mary’s act might have looked wasteful to others, but Jesus saw it as worship. That gives me hope. Because maybe the tears I cry when no one’s watching, the fragile thank-you I whisper through the ache, maybe those are my alabaster offerings too. Maybe broken gratitude still blesses Him.

Maybe that’s what faith really looks like in hard seasons: showing up with what we have, offering it honestly, and trusting Jesus to receive it.

So if you’re in a season like mine–tired of being strong and not sure what you’ve got left–here’s what I want you to hear: gratitude isn’t about pretending. It’s a quiet posture of the heart. Even your smallest, weakest thank-you can rise like worship. And in the mystery of His grace, it fills the room with His presence.

Bring your offering, however cracked, however costly. He sees it. He receives it. And to Him, it’s beautiful.

Meet Karen Wolf

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Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.