One busy day, I received a distressing call from my Dad telling me my Mom had fallen while shopping in a favorite store. I asked my Dad if I should travel there to help, and he said he would let me know after the test results and treatment plan were given. No number of miles or days of work missed mattered to me if I could be a help to my sweet parents.

The fall resulted in a painful bone fracture with a lengthy recovery. Thankfully, I was able to juggle my responsibilities at home and fly there to be with them for about a week. My Dad cared for her hand and foot. It was difficult for my Mom to leave the house, so my Dad and I ended up running several errands together that week. We went to church, ate out, shopped, and even visited a friend together since it was my birthday month! I stopped and took pictures of flowers along our routes as I usually do. We just did ordinary life in the midst of the trial.

The day I flew home, my Dad got my suitcase out for me, hugged me, kissed my cheek, and said, “I love you,” as he always has. I reciprocated with the same. After I had gotten to the boarding gate, I received a text from him asking if I was okay. In my determinedness to get through the airport procedures, I had not thought to let him know.

As I returned home,  I learned that family members I had been with had contracted Covid. I became ill as well. While my Dad was still caring for my mother in her injury, he was calling regularly to check on me. Several of my family members were hospitalized. Being so far away, I had no idea that my Dad had become very ill.

I casually called to check on him and my Mom, and I was shocked to learn he was in the Emergency Room. He told me in that phone call, “If I don’t make it out of here, know I love you.” Of course, I did not believe he would not make it out of the hospital, and encouraged him that he would get better. I held my composure until I got off the phone.

After some traumatic days, my Dad left the hospital and stepped into Heaven. He is perfectly healed, and best of all, He is with the Lord.

The many questions pop up at unexpected moments – “Why?”  “What if…?” “Did I…?” “Did they…?” When these questions fill my mind and sorrow drowns my heart, I must look to my Sovereign God. He is nothing but loving. He is always good. He doeth all things well. He cares for my griefs. He has each of our days appointed.

Grief has no set time limit as some may project. There is often no warning of its coming. But grief is not unknown to God. He welcomes us to come to Him with our grief.

Gratitude to God is vital for living with grief.

1. Remembering the Gift of Jesus Christ our Savior reminds us that as believers, we will see our loved ones again and live with God forever.

Knowing Who we have in Christ and all that He is, our faith remains fixed even in shaky times. We have a blessed Hope! We have a living Savior, and we will forever be alive with Him as a believer.

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.

I Thessalonians 4:13-14

My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.

Psalm 57:7

2. Remembering the gifts God has given us all through our lives reinforces that He is faithful and good. Always.

If I had not known deep love, I would not have known deep loss. I’m thankful for the gift of a loving earthly father that seems to be a gift rarer by the day. Though my precious Dad is absent from me, what he taught me by his life continues in me–every day.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:17

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

– Matthew 7:11

3. Remembering the gifts in our trials that we had to search for will keep us searching for His gifts.

Sometimes, the gifts God gives us are very obvious; sometimes, we must ask Him to show us a “token for good.” It may be a gift visible to others, but it may be a gift just between you and God Himself that no one else would understand. Did he let you see a beautiful sunset or a bright flower? Did someone speak a timely and edifying word to you?

During the traumatic days preceding my Dad’s death, the scattered Xenia’s in my Dad’s backyard were gifts to me, and probably to me only.  The time I had with my Dad a couple weeks before was a big gift that everyone could see in retrospect.

Shew me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou, Lord, hast holpen me, and comforted me.

Psalm 86:17

Grief contains precious gifts from God. Look for them. Thank God for them. Remember them.

Meet Jeri Lynn Wilkerson

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Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

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If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.