Four Habits That Will Make Your Desire for God Grow
It was one of those mornings. “Wake me up early, please,” I whispered. More time to press face to the floor. Linger and listen and cry if I needed to, because when I kneel beneath glory I’m easily undone. That’s what my heart needed after days of pouring words and art onto pages. Submitting raw, vulnerable work.
This week brought me back to the months that it was my constant prayer. Wide-awake moments all through the night when worship songs lyrics played loud in my head as if I hadn’t turned the song off. It was “Worthy of It All” then, as it is now. The line perched in a frame right above my writing desk.
For months straight I played that song on repeat. And now, for three consecutive months I’ve walked circles in my basement while reading my Bible. Every book, every page, every verse—now in recently-read. It will change you, what Mary Demuth termed a “rapid-read,” just as regular time on your knees does.
When Desire for God Keeps You Up at Night
Mary’s plan had us in the Psalms every day, and one thing I noticed was how often King David was awake in the middle of the night. Tucked into a single chapter, I find these references to sleep-devoid nights:
O Eternal One, through the night, I stop to recall Your name. That’s how I live according to Your teachings.
Psalm 119:55, The Voice
In the middle of the night, I wake to thank You because Your rulings are just and right.
Psalm 119:62, The Voice
My soul aches from craving Your wise rulings day and night.
Psalm 119:20, The Voice
What arrests me is what’s keeping David awake. Not worry, though he often was in grave danger. Not an insistent to-do list, though he carried great responsibility. Not regret, or retaliation. Instead, the dominant reason was his obsession with God.
David’s ache to know God blanketed him both day and night. Praise poured readily from his lips, pen, harp. We see David dance before the Lord with unhinged abandon. Embrace his raw-honest emotions. Ask questions aloud that would rattle most. Still, daytime hours were too few, so David’s fervent seeking spilled into the middle of the night.
We want to get it, don’t we? Faith that’s not safe but real. Conversation with Jesus that is constant yet effortless. Honesty we know is welcome. A passion to know God intense enough to wake us in the middle of the night.
Truth is, we’re not sleeping well, but for other reasons. Unsolved problems. An onslaught of ideas. Tangled emotions. Decisions. Regrets. What-ifs.
As I read David’s words, I think of you. Tossing at night. Willing yourself to sleep so long tears begin to tug at the corners of your eyes. Googling an explanation and solution. Caving in and scrolling.
And I’m praying for us both, that when we can’t sleep, we’ll turn our thoughts to the very same God David knew so well.
4 Habits that Grow Awareness of God
#1: Raw Worship Music
As a kid, I thought God was more accessible at big events: Bible camp, summer mission trips, worship nights, conferences, and retreats. Accepted that He’d feel more distant during the rest of life. But then I started playing worship music while driving, writing late at night in the computer lab in the basement of our dorm, grading papers at Panera. I realized I didn’t need to be somewhere else to know God was close. No matter what I was doing, I had full access to His glory-drenched presence. Worship music helps me embrace what is already available.
I’ve found the same is true of other habits we can cultivate–journaled prayers, bent knees, poured over pages–they keep our hearts tender and available to God who waits for us to notice Him. Help us choose a posture of devotion and surrender. Teach us God’s nature. Nurture hunger, awareness, awe.
#2: Genuine Dialogue with God
Honest dialogue with God will change you, many of us have discovered as we journal through Jennifer Dukes Lee’s Stuff I’d Only Tell God. We’ve penned lies long believed, still-healing scars, dreams, fears, quirky preferences, and lingering questions. We’ve cried, confessed, surrendered. As we practice bringing our authentic selves to God, we’ve found He welcomes us. Still healing, growing, failing, forgiven us.
#3: Daily Time on Your Knees
Kneeling is an act of reverence. We adopt a posture of surrender to teach our hearts to quiet and adore. Here we rest. Let go of striving and doing that root in self-sufficiency. Gaze on holy grace and bend beneath the gravity of glory. Come when your heart is alive and when your knees are weak. Come when you’re needy, and when you need nothing but to better know Him.
#4: Time with the Word
My usual pace through the Bible is slow. My plan simply one book at a time. I hadn’t read through the whole Bible aside from the year-long challenge I took as a teen. To be honest, Mary’s 90-day challenge worried me. I thought I’d get caught up in check-marks and lose out on the intimate time in the Word I cherish. What I found instead is that this fast-paced read wrecked me over and over again. Taught me aspects of God’s nature consistent through both testaments. Pulled me in closer.
As I think about the habits that have shaped the way I know God today, I wonder what came first for David–his unquenchable desire for God or habits like praise, repentance, and prayer? Did his practices grow out of his longing, or lead them?
Maybe it’s less linear and more of a circle. Not a before-and-after, but a cycle of building rhythms when we can feel God and when we can’t. Pressing into trust when we’re numb. Showing up even when it feels rote.
Sometimes the action leads the emotions. We write a line in our gratitude journal, answer a prompt in Stuff I’d Only Tell God, turn on a worship song, spend a few minutes on our knees, read our Bible fast or slow. Then we repeat until it becomes a habit. That slow-forming rhythm will change you in time. Heighten your awareness of God who treasures every moment He spends with us.
The habits that bring us continually into God’s presence also fan our hunger. We lean on them when we’re busy, grieving, healing and remember what we know is true:
God’s here–even when we can’t see Him.
Good–even when He’s not done.
Faithful–as He was before.
I’ll leave you with this prayer:
God, give us eyes to see you as David did. A desire to know You that continually grows. May we help each other create habits that pull us close to You.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
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4 Comments
SherriS
So good, thank you Twyla! I was nodding at the song Worthy of it all, love the ORU version. I’m like what 90 day reading plan so I found it and bought it. Thank you again for so much goodness.
twyla
Hi Sherri! Isn’t it the best song?! Especially love that version. And YAY!!! Excited for you to take the 90 day challenge!!!
Elisa
It is interesting that David did seem pushed by his longing for God in the late hours. I agree, I think it was cycling, it could go either way. Habits that led him to a longing, or a longing that led to practices. Ive been reading the Psalms, one a day (usually) since I was a teen, with a couple years odd here and there. They still always catch me by surprise. I often read one as I’m going to bed, or linger in my own cries to God. I’ve always felt like my bed was a safe place, a haven in the midst of crazy to meet God. But then. In the years I was sick and in hospitals, only able to pray and cry in bed, or now when the PTSD panic attacks come on in the night, I still find myself longing to meet God in that stillness…when it’s all you have that feels safe, God becomes the strong toward in the evening watch. I was cracking up, though, relating to my other coping mechanism in the middle of the night…Google searches and research articles! 😂 I definitely have known that one well too! But I have to say, hours of that will still end up sending me back to God.
Glad you really loved that challenge! Maybe I’ll try it someday, I haven’t read through the whole Bible at the same time since high school either! Apparently we were both high school Bible readers! 😁
twyla
Elisa!! Wish we met in high school. Pretty sure we would have been friends then too! And yes, there is something sacred about the quiet, late-night hours. There’s potential to hear God more clearly with the distractions of the day removed. “The strong tower in the evening watch.” YES!!!!