How to Drop the Things That Waste Your Time and Misguide Your Heart
Jesus cautioned her, “Mary, don’t cling to me, for I haven’t yet ascended to God, my Father. And he’s not only my Father and God, but now he’s your Father and your God! Now go to my brothers and tell them what I’ve told you, that I am ascending to my Father—and your Father, to my God—and your God!”
John 20:17 TPT
If you ask my second-born, she’d stop growing so she couldn’t outgrow her favorite clothes. She’d keep the same table in her classroom, dance with the same friends, and never ever go through a major life change. In her ideal-case scenario, we’d never move and never upgrade the family vehicle. We’d replicate last year’s vacation down to the exact same hotel and order of activities.
Perhaps you too find yourself clinging to what you know, choosing the known over the unknown. Perhaps it’s the job you don’t love but don’t want to leave. The house you’ve outgrown but filled with memories. The schedule that’s full but at least not full of surprises.
Maybe the word change reminds you of the good things you weren’t ready to let go or the goodbyes you had to say before you were ready. Or perhaps, like my daughter, you resist those unexpected, unsettling changes: the substitute teacher, the location change, the rental car, the in-between housing.
Like it or not, life is full of change. The leaves dropping onto my hair and laptop while I write remind me that there’s an ebb and flow, a receiving and a letting go—and we can’t get around it.
It affects both me and you. The friend you chatted on the phone with the other day. The neighbor catty-corner to you that you’ve been meaning to welcome to the neighborhood. The preoccupied cashier at the grocery store. The teacher your middle schooler thinks is too strict.
I can understand Mary’s reluctance to let go. Jesus wasn’t just a good thing; He was the best thing that ever happened to her. He’d arrested her heart, and time stood still when she sat at His feet. Simply being in His presence awakened something deep inside her. She knew she was cherished, and she loved Jesus back with unashamed adoration.
This is the Mary who honored Jesus with her all:
Mary picked up an alabaster jar filled with nearly a liter of extremely rare and costly perfume—the purest extract of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet. Then she wiped them dry with her long hair. And the fragrance of the costly oil filled the house.
John 12:3 TPT
But Jesus could see what Mary couldn’t yet see: that He had to go away to give Himself in fuller measure. That change was coming, yet the best was yet to come. “But here’s the truth,” Jesus explains in John 16: 7, “It’s to your advantage that I go away, for if I don’t go away the Divine Encourager will not be released to you” (TPT).
Jesus would return to face-to-face communion with His Father, but He wouldn’t leave Mary alone. And He doesn’t leave you and me alone either.
God sees that thing that you’re hoping to hold onto for a bit longer. The prospect of a change that’s stealing your peace, and your sleep.
He understands how you fear letting go because there’s no going back.
But maybe going forward is better than going back. Could it be that the best is up ahead, over the hill, after the narrow dip in the road, beyond the sharp bend to the right?
Sometimes we let the familiar oust God’s best for us.
I too have held tight to a good thing that’s no longer the best thing.
Time-wasters and heart-misguiders
In the midst of both welcome and unwelcome change, let’s ask ourselves this question: Am I hanging onto the right things?
Here are a few more questions you can use to do deeper soul-searching:
- Am I holding fast to yesterday instead of embracing today?
- Am I resisting a change that will change me for the better?
- Am I listening to fear or stepping forward in faith?
- What will I lose by letting go? What will I gain?
- Who can I encourage by being honest about my soul-wrestlings?
The things we hold close always point us in a direction. Tell us what matters. Define our success. Tell us what we’re worth.
Many are the lesser things that lead us gently or abruptly in the wrong direction. These things may look good and holy on the outside, but their message doesn’t align with God’s word.
They tell us that it’s up to us. That we can earn—and lose—God’s affection. That the world will fall apart if we don’t keep it together. That we can’t be vulnerable, talk about our questions, ask a friend or neighbor for prayer.
They tell us what means most is what we do. That failure is not an option. That we’ll never measure up. That we’re miserably insignificant.
Rerouting our course
That’s why it’s so important to cultivate our ability to listen to God’s Holy Spirit. His whispers never steer us in the wrong direction for they lead us into the Father’s presence.
What if you chose to trust God with your tomorrow? What if you believed that His heart for you is relentlessly good? What if you held the things dearest to you, your fear of change, your what-ifs, and ready objections, in open hands?
What if you trusted a neighbor you’ve been getting to know with a piece from the middle of your messy story? What if you talked openly about your conversation with God and what you’re learning about letting go of what’s lesser so you can taste the better than God has in mind?
A prayer for my fellow change resisters
Jesus, I pray for the girl with so much weighing on her mind today. She wants to love you with her everything, but she’s been believing lies that force distance between her and You. She wants You to lead her. Would You gently show her Your best and help her to let go of the rest? Fill her with the courage to come to You and others bravely authentic. May her in-progress story of learning to trust You encourage others in her life. This I pray in Your beautiful and precious name, Jesus. Amen.
Just a friend over here in your corner,
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